Changes
by CaptainCrash
Summary: A freak full moon takes Remus and Tonks on a journey of discovery and revenge. Rated T for language, lemons and major character deaths.
1. Default Chapter

**_Changes: Special Edition_**

_This is the story that follows the prologue trilogy. If you haven't read it, it shouldn't matter as this should be able to stand as a stand alone. However, it won't take too long to read so if you want to go to my profile and read Fallen Angel, The Map Never Lies and New Moon Rising it'll help._

_This is the story that has been locked in my head for about a month and therefore had such a hard time getting it on paper. Please bare with me... Might be pretty long story._

**Something I've always meant to do but forgot; All recognisable characters (Not matter how OOC) belong to JK. All unrecognisable characters/ storylines belong to the voices in my head. lol. Thank you to all my muses, past present and future... Enjoy**

**Chapter One: After the Fall**

The bleak white hospital hallway was silent and still, the smell of disinfectant clung to the air like a leach. The atmosphere because of it was suffocating. It was the last place anyone wanted to be when they were sick, or come to think of it healthy people had a hard enough job staying there. Half the Order of the Phoenix where trapped there with one curse or another from the incident at the Department of Mysteries, some where lucky and only a simple counter curse was needed. However, others like young Nymphadora Tonks weren't so lucky. She was battling a strong and ruthless hex and she was nursing a broken heart which no magic could heal.

"How is she?" Remus Lupin, looking as disheveled as ever, charged into St Mungo's third floor and straight into Moody the first chance he got, almost five days after the incident at the Department of Mysteries. Everyone knew he wanted to be the first person Tonks saw when she woke up from her coma. He wanted to be the one to tell her that Sirius was gone. He wanted her to see how much it pained him to tell her, the pain in his voice, the water filling his eyes and threatening to spill over onto his unkempt face.

Now it was too late.

Moody had told her. Moody had been there to help her through her tears, hug her in his fatherly way and tell her he'd be there for her. Moody was a hero.

"How is she?" Remus impatiently questioned a second time. It was a full moon the day after the incident at the Department of Mysteries and instead of being at the girl's side, he was trapped on the third floor of Grimmauld Place. How painful his turning had been in more than one respect. "Moody!" Remus growled at the man who stared at him so placidly. He hated that he was so calm. That was his positive point, not Moody's. "How's Nymphadora?"

"She's-" Moody began, but faulted. Remus calmed a little, he'd forgotten that he wasn't the only one having a hard time, everyone was mourning and everyone was worrying about Tonks.

"-She's in dire need of medical treatment," Sneered Severus who came from what Remus could only presume to be her darkened room. "Remus. So glad you could finally make it. She's been asking for you-" His heart rose. She had been asking for him. Even though Moody had comforted her, it hadn't been enough. She wanted him, Remus, to ease the pain. "Something about ripping your head off your no-good body." Severus' mouth formed a crooked vindictive smile. Of course, why would she want to see him for anything else. She must be so mad.

"What's wrong with her? I thought she was going to be ok?" Remus pinned Severus weakly to the wall.

"She has lost her ability to morph." Severus explained. "Surprising it hasn't happened before now knowing how clumsy she is." Remus gripped him tighter. "This isn't helping her Remus." Severus dramatically dusted himself down once Remus had removed his grip on him. Moody's revolving eye had fixed upon Tonks' room. "Miss Tonks keeps trying to morph, she does it many more time without treatment, there is no doubt in my mind that she will die Remus."

"What's the treatment?" Remus barked. He could loose her. He'd just lost Sirius, and he was now going to loose his Tonks. "A spell?" No response. "A potion?" Severus nodded. Remus' heart lifted, that was Severus' specialty, he was the potions master after all.

"However." Remus' heart plunged right back down to the depths of his stomach; there always had to be a but; it couldn't be simple.

"Yes Severus?" Moody joined the conversation. He cared about Tonks as if she was his daughter. She was moody, lippy and downright disrespectful. Moody assumed that was what met the requirements of a twenty-something daughter.

"I can't make it." He answered solemnly. There was a genuine pang hidden beneath his bitterness. "I do know someone who does. I'm going to speak to Albus now. There will be an order meeting tonight." Severus made to leave. "That is, of course; If you survive." He marched back the way in which Remus had arrived, the man's black cloak billowing behind him.

"She'll be ok Remus." Moody's hand clamped his shoulder tightly; a little too tightly. "You going in?"

"You coming with me?" Remus question, dread filling the pit of his stomach; Moody shook his head. "Is it true what he said?" Remus questioned. He knew it was. He knew Tonks' oath.

"Well..." Moody thought how best to say what was on his mind. The truth was the best. The blunt and honest truth; he sighed before telling him: "Yep. It's true. She's really mad at you. Don't know why though. You and that one seemed the best of friends." Remus smiled weakly.

It was true. They had grown to be close friends since the volatile night Sirius returned to Grimmauld Place. Sirius had been glad of the rift between them at first, basking in the attention his grown-up cousin was giving him. Plus there was the bonus that the rift had meant nothing was going to happen between the two.

However by the end of the week, Sirius had grown tired of the snide remarks and icy cold atmosphere at the diner table that he demanded that they sorted things out and become friends.

It had taken two years but they had finally got to a point where they could spend time together without biting each others heads off. There had been times when they had come close to biting each others buttons off and make mad passionate love where ever they had found themselves; That longing was still there between the two. Every time, someone had brought them back to reality; most of the time it had been Sirius. They eventually settled on friendship; like they had before.

Now he was back to being the bad person who jeopardized her cousin's freedom. He was now back to being the werewolf she hated.

Remus opened the door to an extremely dark room and an empty bed. He closed the door and adjusting to the light he reached the bed and felt the mattress; it was still warm.

_Where was she? Severus had just left her_. Before he had time to react, Tonks had jumped him from behind.

"Nympa-" Her grip on his neck tightened. He wished he wasn't so weak from the transformation. He gripped the bed for support. "You're chocking me-"

"That's the plan." Her voice came out raspy as her thin legs wrapped around his waist.

"I'm sorry he died Tonks. I'm so sorry-" She'd let go. He turned to find her crumpled on the floor. It was the real Tonks. Drab Tonks. Nympadora Tonks. His one and only angel, in pain. Her long brown wavy hair stuck to her burning face. "Tonks?" He pulled her up. She punched him weakly. "I know you said-" She had said that if Sirius had died a wanted man, she would kill Remus were he stood because the night Sirius could have been free was the night of the full moon. Because Remus transformed, they lost the only person who could prove Sirius innocence. Peter Pettigrew.

"Why didn't you tell me! Why wasn't it you? Why weren't you here for me?" She collapsed onto his tweed infested chest. "Why weren't you here?"

"Hush Tonks." His blood ran cold as he helped her into bed. She would not let go. Instead he had to join her on the small hospital bed.

"I knew he'd leave me again. But you, I always thought you'd be here. You left me once. I didn't think you'd do it again. He said you'd always look after me. He said he'd make you stand by me this time... He said... He said" Tonks drifted off to sleep not through choice but through lack of energy. Her little attack had used up what little strength she had left.

By "He" Remus presumed she had been talking about Sirius. _The bastard knew he was going to leave us._ Remus thought. He'd had one of his good-bye talks with Tonks. So where was his? The one where he told Remus that he had to look after Tonks like she was a sister. The last talk had ended with Sirius telling him to keep his paws off Tonks.

Perhaps it had been a dream she'd had. Wishful thinking that Sirius had given them his blessing. Because they both knew he would never do that. For one main reason; he, R J Lupin had hurt Tonks.

She had been nine when Sirius had warned her away from Remus. Mainly because she was nine and Remus had been twenty. Wrong, for so many reasons. His second reason, and more importantly than the first although Sirius would never have dared told Remus to his face, had been that Remus had been, and still was, a werewolf.

Sirius had once told Remus that he would have been happy for them, had he not hurt his little cousin by leaving her when she most needed him. Sirius argued that for that reason, he would never accept them together.

Tonks loved her cousin too much. Remus knew all too well that she would take that guiding principle to the grave with her. Remus thought bitterly about the promise he had overheard Sirius make her vow. Sirius had told her that while Remus could hurt her, they could not be together. Something Remus could not promise her while he was a werewolf.

Soon after, he drifted into his own sleep, protecting the frail and devastated Tonks.

A/N: So, what do you all think?


	2. The Order

**__**

Chapter two....

It wasn't possible. Was it? Grimmauld Place actually felt colder than before. Remus stepped in from the July summer day. The sun light up the hall. His heightened sense of smell was telling him rain was on its way.

It was wrong that they were using Sirius' house. Not when he wasn't there. However, it was a pressing matter that the meeting had been called for.

He could hear the muttering of The Order as he rested his cane upon the wall. It slipped knocking the dreaded portrait open-

"FILTHY. HORRIBLE. ARGGGGGG. LEAVE MY HOUSE." Sirius' mother roared. The instant the racket stopped. Molly appeared in the hallway.

"Remus dear. We thought you were Tonks for a minute then. How is she?"

"Asleep. Is everyone here?" Remus was late. He had no idea what time they were having the meeting.

"We've been waiting for you dear. Would you like something to eat?" Molly led him into the solemn meeting room. All eyes turned to him.

"No thank you Molly. I'm fine." He took his seat opposite Albus. "Shall we begin?" He looked to Albus. He couldn't stand the silence. Did they all expect him to break down there and then because he was the only Marauder left? He had been the lone ranger once before. He could do it again.

"Yes. Of course." Albus turned to Severus. "Have you received a reply." Severus nodded.

"He will meet with someone. Not Miss Tonks though. He does not regard the company of females." Severus explained. Remus felt like he had missed something. "So someone will have to accompany her to Switzerland." All eyes turned to Remus. All except Severus. "Unfortunately Mr Kant does not solicit with werewolves either." A sneer spread across Severus' face. Remus had heard of Mr Alexander Jericho Kant. He had trained Severus in potions right before he joined Voldermort. He was a man who liked his solitary and Severus was one of only nine people to learn under the watchful eye of the potions master. Mr Kant, according Remus' knowledge, had not looked upon a woman in fifty years when his mother died. Why he would not share the company of a werewolf was nothing new to Remus. Many people feel the same.

"Who else is there Severus?" Minerva questioned coldly. "Nyhmpadora needs this help. There is no one else to take her to get the potion she needs-"

"It is his request that he does not meet with anyone unnatural." Severus reasoned painfully.

"And who is he to judge. He hasn't been outside his own company in twenty five years"

"I'm sorry that this woman's life lies in his hands... but without this potion she will die." Severus did sound sorry. However it occurred to Remus that it was possibly his handicapped ability that he was mourning.

"How will he know that I am a werewolf?" Remus questioned boldly. Severus faltered. "Honesty, unless I tell him, or there is a freak full moon, will he know?"

"No." Severus answered.

"Albus. Is there no one else to take her?" Remus looked around the table. Auror's. The lot of them. They were already one down. They could not afford to loose another one. "Then we are left with no choice; I will go and meet with Mr Kant." Severus looked disgusted. "When am I to meet him?"

"You are to leave on the Hogwarts Express the day the students arrive at Kings Cross station." Albus answered Remus' question. "You have a week to make sure Miss Tonks is fit for travel." Albus paused.

"Perhaps we should talk about someone to replace her as-" Minerva began.

"- It has taken me three years to get Nymphadora to agree to be our Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. She will be fit to teach in September Minerva. I have faith in her."

Severus looked sick. He was helping the woman who was beating him to his wanted job. She was an old student. Clumsy. And a Griffindor to boot. Remus couldn't help but stifle a grin, only Tonks could manage it.

After the meeting Molly sat Remus down and was just about to threaten to force feed him when he finally relented. She was pottering around the kitchen when Albus appeared in the doorway.

"She'll make a good teacher Albus." Remus pulled the bourbon bottle towards him and filled two glasses. Handing the second to his former headmaster. After taking a sip a thought occurred to him. "Why did she refuse?"

"Because she wanted to free Sirius. She couldn't do that at Hogwarts." Albus looked to his glass. "She never knew what she wanted to be." He chuckled. "She once threatened that no matter what she did, she'd beat Severus to the Defence Against the Dark Arts job. She was joking of course."

"You'd have a hard time proving that to Severus of course." Molly set two plate of steaming beef stew in front of the two men.

"I did. I had quite forgotten the remark that had gotten Miss Tonks into detention until I offered her the position and Severus kindly reminded me." Albus took a mouthful of stew. "He seems to think I've had her down for the job since she was in Hogwarts."

"Doesn't help that no matter how clumsy she is, she came out tops in her potions either." Molly took a seat opposite them both.

"Ah.... Now Molly, she wasn't always like that." Remus took a clump out of the uncut loaf Molly had placed between himself and Albus. "That was Severus' doing." He mopped up the gravy from his bowl. "I watched him destroyed her confidence. Each time I went to Hog-" Albus coughed. Remus had almost revealed his return to Hogwarts. "-Er. Went to see her, she was more... more-"

"Clumsy?!" Molly finished. Remus just nodded.

"That's why when it came to the exams, she passed with flying colours." Remus finished his tale. "She could go into any profession she wished."

"And she still picked to be trained my you." Albus added. A gleam in his eye.


	3. Don't Even Think About It

Don't Even Think About it

Tonks sat, fully dressed on the seat beside her made bed in St Mungo's, awaiting her escort to Kings Cross station a week later. She was still her old, old self. Long, thick, unmanageable brown hair. Everything else about her was the same.

However, if she was to prove to Harry that everything was ok, she would have to do something to it. Just brighten it up. Make it red. She tweaked her nose-

"Don't even think about it." Remus warned, stepping into the doorway his long, threadbare overcoat draped over his shabby covered arm, "Moody doesn't want you there as it is. Not to mention the fact that Molly's ready to molly coddle you until you are blue in the face."

"Blues better than this pasty completion. Harry can't see me like this Remus." Tonks eased herself off the seat. Remus rushed to her side, wrapping his overcoat around her petite figure. "He can't spend the summer mourning _and_ worrying about me." Remus supported her as the made their way to the lift.

"Ever thought that worrying about you might take his mind off Sirius?" Remus questioned blandly, eyebrow raised delicately.

"It hasn't for you." Tonks argued with a bitter smile. She knew the moment he appeared in her hospital room that he missed Sirius as much as she did. That moment she forgot her oath.

"No." He answered honestly as the lift doors closed. "-But that's because I know you are a fighter. I'm not worrying about you, you'll be ok." He gave her arm a squeeze.

"That's alright for you to say. You're not giving your life over to Mister I-Haven't-Been-More-Than-Fifty-Miles-From-My-Home. _EVER_." Tonks chuckled. "Seriously Remus. What does this guy know? He hasn't lived."

"Hey." Remus snapped a little too harshly. "You haven't led too much of a full life yourself you know." He wasn't going to fight with her, but most of her life has been spent fighting a battle for someone who wasn't willing to fight it himself.

"That's about to change." Tonks looked at him. She meant it. She wanted change. She wanted this war to be over, free the oppressed. Give Harry the childhood he deserved.

They travelled in silence from the hospital to the Underground which would take them directly to Kings Cross where they would meet the rest of the Order.

If only she hadn't promised her cousin. She did want a life. And she wanted it with Remus. Could she trust him to stand by her? He wasn't there when she woke up. Because he's a werewolf, she reminded herself as they sat down on the train. Being a werewolf was the reason why Sirius didn't want her involved with Remus. She knew Sirius better than he thought. He had the idea in his head that she would use her ability to transform and "entertain" Remus when he was in werewolf form. In that venerable position she could be bitten and cursed for the rest of her life. She had offered, as his girlfriend it had been her duty to offer. But Remus, knowing the risk always refused her company. Sirius hadn't known that. She didn't think it was any of his business. It was also before his time as a man on the run.

She had realised they had arrived at the station until;

"Tonks dear." A body clamping itself to hers brought her out of her daydream. "Are you ok?" It was Molly.

"The train will be here any minute." Arthur smiled at the woman who was gasping for breath in Molly's arms. "Molly dear-"

"Yes of course, sorry Dora. Are you ok?" She asked again, returning to Arthur's linked arm. Tonks smiled at the couple. She had once hoped for that kind of relationship. That kind of family. She loved the Weasley's.

"I'm fine." Tonks glanced towards the toilets. Her last chance to try and transform before she saw Harry. "I just need to- um- you- know. I really need the toilet." She removed herself from Remus' overcoat and handed it back to him with a thank you smile.

"Should have made her go before she left Remus." Moody hissed. Tonks glared at him. Perhaps he knew she didn't really need to go.

"I'll come with you then dear. I could do with going myself" Molly lied terribly. The thought of Tonks collapsing in the toilet was glazed over her eyes.

"Why on earth do women need to go in pairs?" Moody growled. "Leave her Molly. I'll keep an eye on her." He fixed his bowler hat.

"You do. You'll be looking out of your arse with that thing." Tonks pointed to his hat. Moving closer to Moody, she made sure he was the only one to hear; "And you know I'm not kidding. I'd ram it so far up your arse you'd-"

"-No need to finish that sentence Nymphadora-" A blush rose to Moody's cheeks. "I will be a gentleman."

"Believe that when I see it." Tonks muttered while making her way slowly to the toliets.

Once making sure the public toilets were empty, Tonks returned to the main door and locked it with a loud clink. She then returned to the mirror.

Merlin, she was pale. Her hair dull. She knew what she was about to do was going to drain her completely.

"Here goes nothing." Tonks stared into the mirror until her vision became hazy.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"She isn't fit for this trip." Remus shrugged on his coat after watching a paling Tonks stumble into the public toilet. She had deteriated since they left the hospital. "I fear we are going loose her before I get there." His eyes glazed over.

"Dear. What ,makes you say that?" Molly stroked his arm.

"She's accepting everything too well." Moody answered Molly. He was the only other person present who had been to see her. "She's, she's placid." He missed his friendly banter with Tonks; and although he had experienced one moments ago. It was tame in comparison to her usual self.

"She's accepting her fate." Remus interjected. "The thing is. She's got nothing to fight for any more. She was trying to free Sirius; that was her life."

"She has Harry though Remus. While she wants to protect him. She'll be fine." Arthur argued.

"She's needs something more than that Arthur-" Remus began to argue that she would find that there were too many people protecting Harry to contain Tonks' fire. However, Tonks took that moment to stumble straight back out of the toilet. Her hair short and spiky, while her complection, if possible, was paler than ever. Her nose almost touched the floor before Fred could catch her from his position nearest the door.

"Nymphadora." Moody growled.

"Don't starts. It's done now." Tonks clutched tightly onto Fred's arm. "Sorry mate." She smiled to the twin when he screwed up his face at her grip.

"No problems. But you scratch it. You buy it." He moved his arm around her waist to support her better.

"Here's the first lot of them now Mum." George motioned toward the entrance to Platform Nine and Three quarters. "Here's Ron and Hermione."

"Here's Harry!" Tonks pushed Fred away and moved to stand beside Remus. He didn't look too pleased. "You mad?" Tonks hissed through the side of her mouth.

"No-" Remus mimicked. "-I'm furious. The things you'll do to protect him."

"What?!" Tonks laughed. "Make you feel guilty that you couldn't do it for me? Suspend your principles to support me?" Tonks said through a plastered smile.

"That's different."

"Why, because I loved you? Because if you had done it for me; it would have actually meant something? You know as well as I do; had Sirius been freed that night or even earlier, which was a possibility with your help, he would still be alive now."

"Ton-" Tonks had just heard Harry's responce to Molly's question. She could tell he was lying. Just as she'd just lied. She was not fine. She could feel her energy flagging.

"Wotcher Harry." Tonks interrupted Remus. Although he was angered at the subject matter he was pleased to find passion residing in her viens. Remus had worries that she had lost all her spirit.

After a few hurried hello's. Moody and Arthur led them all to Harry's guardians. How horrible they were. Tonks' focus was zooming in and out of focus. She knew sleep was near by. She also knew that the point of this was to show Harry there was nothing to worry about.

"I expect what you're not aware of would fill several books, Dursley," growled Moody.

"Anyway, that's not the point," interjected Tonks, she was pleased at the look that she was receiving from the woman who was about to look after Harry for the next few weeks. Tonks offered a small smile to Harry before she put a small, shaking hand on his shoulder, "The point is, if we find out you've been horrible to Harry-"

"-And make no mistake, we'll hear about it," added Remus pleasantly, stepping back with Tonks as Arthur and Moody took over for the warnings.

"Remus we have to go." Tonks avoided Hermione and Ron's darting looks. "We have to go now. I can't cope much longer."

"Tonks?" Hermione questioned softly. "What's wrong?" Tonks shook her head. She was not going to answer. She couldn't worry Hermione either.

"Remus." Tonks pulled on his overcoat, slipping into George's open arms. Thankfully there was enough of a crowd to hide her from Harry.

"Give me two minutes George." Remus slipped into the crowd.

"What's wrong with her?" Hermione questioned the twins as she watched Tonks' hair return to it's lengthened brown mass.

"She's sick." George offered unhelpfully.

"Lupin's taking her abroad to get her help. She only came because she doesn't want Harry to worry." Fred continued.

"So don't say anything to him." George warned. "Otherwise she'll be mad."

"And you wouldn't like to see her mad." Fred tweaked the sleeping Tonks' nose. Remus appeared from the left of the crowd of adults. scooping Tonks into his arms.

"Don't worry Hermione." He noticed her tear filled eyes. "She'll be ok."

.....................................................

**__**

AN Hope you like the third instalment. Ideas, comments, flames! All will be greatly appreciated.


	4. Jealousy

Jealousy

A/N: wmlaw : I'm so sorry i've left you confused. To clear things up please read my other Tonk/Remus Fic which is a trilogy of one-shots which i've based this story on. If it doesn't. Email me/ leave a review and I'll do something in this story.

To all others, your response will be at the bottom.

On call the rain lashed down on the glass of the Hogwarts Express, which was going from London's Kings Cross station, through the channel tunnel and onto Switzerland. This time tomorrow they would be there.

Hopefully by then, Tonks would be awake.

Moody had looked so furious when Remus had told him that Tonks had collapsed. That, I-told-you-so-glare. Why didn't anyone believe him when he said that whatever Tonks wanted, Tonks got. She didn't want him anymore, if she did, she'd have him. No matter how much his head was telling him to respect his dead best-friend's wishes, nay, threat. His heart would tell him to take the second chance and prove to her that he would stand by her to the death.

How helpless and frightened she looked spread across the length of seats on the train, hugging herself with one to keep warm while the other was folded under her head. Her eyelids flickered. She was dreaming.

Remus removed his overcoat and covered her frighteningly thin figure. His hands lingering on her shoulder a second longer than necessary. She held on to the coat as if it was her life.

"Remus." She mumbled pleasantly tucking the coat under her chin.

Remus sat back opposite her, his eyes begging for sleep. He knew he shouldn't. He should stay wake, and look over and protect his warrior, but his own fatigue took over and his heavy eyelids won. darkness and the sound of rain consumed him.

Tonks, half way between asleep and awake, inhaled the scent of Remus. She could feel the course texture of his coat against the bare flesh of her midriff. In her sixteen years, his smell hadn't changed. That day he appeared with Sirius and James, he still smelt of a winter's night, roasted chestnuts and pomegranates.........

"And where is my favourite cousin?!" A deep voice could be heard growling inside the house. Tonks was sprawled across a picnic blanket in the autumn sun, reading a book of poetry. A little complex for her seven years, but everyone was telling her she was old for her age. Her Aunt Bellatrix had even called her an old hag and a busy-body know-it-all. Her mother, Andromeda told her to ignore Bella. So she did.

Pretending not to be excited, Tonks glued her eyes to her book. She loved her cousin. The roguish Sirius Black was the coolest person she knew and could ever ask for as a cousin. He even had friends who checked her work by owl.

She was to meet him today. Remus Lupin. Sirius had tried to scare her by telling her he was a werewolf, a special werewolf who did not need to moon to change. Her cousin had warned that if she upset him, Remus would turn into his cursed form and eat her. Nymphadora Tonks believed him, but she wasn't scared.

There they were in front of her; the Marauder's. She picked out Remus at once. His eyes warm and familiar. Looking right at her with an educational gleam. He'd given her the book that was now on her lap. He was sickly and pale. He looked tired. It had been a full moon two nights previous. Tonks smiled broadly. She would not let the fact that he was a werewolf bother her.

"Cousin?!" Sirius growled, falling to all fours and crawling to her. She wasn't interested. Tonks' gaze remained firmly on Remus. "Don't stare at Moony, Nymph." Tonks blushed.

"It's ok Miss." Remus crouched on the blanket. Offering his hand.

"Pah, she ain't a miss. She's a tom-boy." Sirius laughed his hand dancing roughly over Tonks long locks. The two remaining members fell to the floor. Tonks blushed once again, offering her own hand to shake. Remus clasped his hand around hers and raised it to his lips-

"She's a lady." His lips grazed her hand softly. "Sometimes you forget there is an opposite sex." Remus added coolly, giving Tonks her hand back. "How did you like the book?" Remus nodded to the book that rested in her lap. She nodded shyly. "Which one do you like?" Tonks now found her voice. She loved the poetry. She handed him the book.

"The- the Tollund Man." Tonks faltered. "Where is Aarhus?"

"Demark." Remus answered instantly, his eyes darting across the page and back to Tonks. "That is a good choice. Did you understand it?"

"Yes. I think I did; Someday I will go to Aarhus," Tonks recited. "To see his peat-brown-"

"Oh, come on Nymph. I'm bored. Don't you want to play?" Sirius pleaded, back on all fours.

"-head, The mild pods of his eye-lids," Tonks ignored him. "His pointed skin caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-" Tonks screamed as Sirius' sheer boredom had led him to find an entertainment of his own; levitating his cousin. "Let me down Sirius!!!!" Tonks screamed her skirt tangling over her head. Three people where laughing. Sirius, James, who Tonks knew and used to love until that very moment, and the other boy who was still unfamiliar to her.

"Sirius, let her down!" Remus stood up to Sirius. Sirius had pulled this prank once before and Remus had not done anything. He would not stand by and do nothing this time. "LET HER DOWN."

She didn't know what had happened, but she was now falling. Falling right into the arms of..............

=-=-=--=

"PETER!" Tonks woke up trembling, tangled in Remus' coat. Sweat leaking from every pour in her body. Within an instant, Remus was at her side smoothing her matted hair. She melted into his arms, crying. Her breathing raged. "It was so real. It was him. I- I - haven't seen him since-" She lost her voice.

"-Since James and Lily died." Remus finished, not knowing her dream. "He can't hurt you in your sleep."

"He didn't." Tonks rubbed sleep from her eyes and sat up. "It was the day he caught me... That friendly face. that "Hey, I'm Peter Petigrew. Pleased to meet you"" Tonks shuddered involuntary. "He went on to kill James and Lily.... He was a good friend." Tonks fought the tears. "No. He was nothing but vermin."

"Hush..." He reached inside his coat pocket and pulled out a slab of golden covered chocolate. "Eat this. It will make you feel better." She stared at him. Realisation written over her face.

"He was vermin, Remus. You trusted vermin over my cousin." Tonks pushed Remus' chocolate laden hand away. "You trusted vermin over me.You _defended_ him to me."

"Everyone-Everyone was taken in Tonks." He remembered the night at the Hog's Head when he had blamed Tonks for tampering with his map. He had accused Tonks of condemning an innocent man.

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone Tonks." He knew that hurt. It hurt him to say it. He wished to Merlin he could take it back. It hurt again to see the look on her face.

"What reason did you have to stick up for him? Sirius was my cousin."

"I thought Peter was dead. I thought _Sirius_ had killed him. Why would I stand up for Sirius?! Why, why would I, if I thought he was the one who condemned James and Lily to death and killed Peter in cold blood. And there was no proof to the contrary... Even Sirius didn't hold it against me. Why should you?" Remus angered.

"Because he was my cousin, and you were my _boyfriend_!" Tonks screamed.

"Oh, give it a rest Tonks. He bullied you from the moment we met." Remus remembered the day all too clearly. "He was jealous that I could take his tom-boy Tonks away from him, turn you into the lady you wanted to be. And he bullied you because of it, and _embarrassed_ you." He saw that she agreed with everything he was saying. "You went from idolising him, to loathing him. It got worse when Harry came and you paid him more attention. He couldn't do anything about that. I bet if it was me who had been killed, you would have believed that it was Sirius-"

"No!" Tonks screamed. She didn't want to think about Remus dying. "I was right though; he was innocent."

"Yes. You were." Remus brushed the flutter of tears away from her face. "But you still thought Peter was dead. Just like the rest of us. No one supported Sirius, because they didn't have the guilty conscience of a nine year old girl." Tonks choked back a sob and made to argue. ",to everyone's knowledge Sirius was James and Lily's secret keeper... By the time you were told that, you had your own opinion that could not be swayed... Look me in the eye, and tell me, that having that vital piece information would not have changed your opinion!" Tonks faltered, hugging her knees for comfort. "Tell me Tonks, if you had known from the start that Sirius had been secret keeper for the Potters... Been the reason why you didn't see Harry until his first year at Hogwarts, the reason why James and Lily lost there lives. Would you still have stood by him?"

"But I _didn't_ know." Tonks muttered. "And it wasn't his fault... "

"But it was Tonks. He trusted Peter with Lily and James' lives... For that he deserved Azkaban-" Tonks feeble attempt at a slap caught Remus' cheek by surprise. Instead of angering further. He smiled as if he was seeing the child in her again. "- You've turned Sirius into a hero haven't you? My little Dora." He stroked her cheek. "They weren't my words; they were his. He realised he was human.... It's time you did the same." Remus raised up from his kneeing position, handing over the chocolate. "EAT. I'm going to talk to the driver."

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A/N 2

oliverwoodkicksass: Love the name, glad you like the story

Saki: So glad you're addicted... hope you still are.

Zaphra Ti'Gan: Hope you're still reading

Morrwen: Hope you are still reading, hint hint, wink wink. lol

If there is anyone I have forgotten I'm sorry and I'll have you up in the next chapter.

**__**

Preview

"-Please sir-" Remus cast a lighting spell. "Remus?!" The young woman questioned in awe. Her hair was black, or it could of been the lighting, or Remus' memory. It hung straight and stopped sharply at her jaw line.

"I'm sorry-?" His eyes were searching for some familiarity.

"Tonks!" Her voice could not hide the hurt. Her cold grey eyes met his blue eyes. He then found it. That smile. How could he miss that smile. He smiled broadly.

"Nymph-" He began, she placed a cold hand over his mouth.


	5. Sliding Doors

Sliding Doors

The sliding and scraping of carriage doors alerted Severus Snape of company in the front compartment of the Hogwarts Express. He was reading through a potions journal. He would not be disturbed. Even by the man who had just sat opposite him

"How is the patient?" He drawled, his nose inches from the paper.

"Frustrated." Remus sighed, banging his head against the back of the seat.

"I was asking about Miss Tonks." Severus sneered. Remus laughed bitterly. He was frustrated, his dream had been of a similar context to Tonks. One of the past.........

Remus had just finished his dinner at the Hogs Head. It was late November and it had been snowing heavily that day. His dream was so vivid he had felt the chill. He had been invited to join Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall and Severus Snape for a meeting. Once again a meeting was about Sirius. As usual he offered no opinion. Remaining quiet, nodding when it was required. Shaking his head to mimic others when needed.

Throughout dinner he had sensed someone. Watching. Outside he could smell them. Her. They were female. Six feet away, in the dark shadow. Had she seen him?

She had. She was trying to move away quietly. Remus followed. Quickening his pace until she was running. Even with his troublesome leg he managed to tackle the girl gently to the floor before she could leave the village.

Damn the light.

"Who are you?" He asked calmly. He could feel her tremble under him. "It's ok....I'm, I'm just going to light my wand." He reached inside his robes.

"-Please sir-" Remus cast a lighting spell. "Remus?!" The young woman questioned in awe. Her hair was black, or it could of been the lighting, or Remus' memory. It hung straight and stopped sharply at her jaw line.

"I'm sorry-?" His eyes were searching for some familiarity.

"Tonks!" Her voice could not hide the hurt. Her cold grey eyes met his blue eyes. He then found it. That smile. How could he miss that smile. He smiled broadly.

"Nymph-" He began, she placed a cold hand over his mouth.

"-Tonks!" She corrected firmly. "Do you mind, er, getting off me?" She asked shyly. He had blushed while rolling over and sitting beside her.

"Why don't you like being called Ny-" She shot him a warning glare. "Sorry." He smiled slightly.

"I've had a tough time. Nymphadora, Dora, Nymph.... They're all to, now what was it-" She pretended to think. " Too-" She marked the air with speech marks. "- Elegant." She smiled broadly. "A man like me shouldn't have such a girly name."

"Man?"

"Tom-boy. Remember." Tonks ruffled her own hair. He took her hand-

"Always a lady to me Dora-" He kissed it.

"-Then where have you been?" She questioned, fixing her scarf.

"Around." He answered flippantly.

"You'd forgotten me." Remus wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement. He still didn't know. He never got the replayed answer as that was when Peter had penetrated Tonks' dream.

"I wish she'd either be mad at me or forgive me. She's like a faulty boiler." It had taken him mere seconds to recount his dream, and Severus hardly noticed the skipped beat in the conversation.

"You've just described Miss Tonks in her entirety. She _is_ a faulty boiler. She so interchangeable. So- So, unpredictable." Severus closed his book. "Why do you think I hate her so much?!"

"Thought that was because she got your job." Remus smiled. He hadn't realised Severus had hated the woman. She wasn't a person who gave anyone reason to hate her.

"_WHY_ are you here?" Severus snapped. "I don't want to be here. Makes it worse when you actually force your company on me."

"Hummmmmm, we actually managed to have a half decent conversation there. That must be a world record." Remus mused. "You're risking a lot to come with us. I know you said you don't want to be here, but you didn't have to come. Albus did not request it of you, and if Vol-" Severus winced at his master's name. "-If he finds out you are helping an Aurour, one that's close to Albus-"

"-Yes, it is a risk." Severus cut him short. "But leaving that poor girls life in the hands of a werewolf was not something I was willing to risk."

"We've been through this." Remus sighed. He was tired of the conversation that seemed to have been on repeat since the last Order meeting.

"I'm sorry, but you don't know how picky Kant is- If he finds out-" Severus began.

"What? What can you do. He will be no more please to see you- In fact. You'll most likely make matters worse. I do recall that he also requested that under no circumstances was he to lay his eyes on his evil apprentice. Severus, he would rather see Tonks die than see you." Remus hissed. "My my, using the man to help the darkest man alive.... I'm guessing he trusted you with his darkest potions, one forgotten by the everyday witch and wizard. Tut Tut- What a way to repay him."

"Don't even try to judge me!" Severus winced.

"What I never understood was; you were **_HIS_** right hand man, you must have know Sirius was innocent. You must have known it was Peter. Yet you condemned and blackened my friend. You sat there and called him a murderer."

"-And, you sat there and agreed." Severus stood over Remus, a hand either side of his head. "You where his friend. You knew him. Nice way to repay _him_." Severus snorted. "Nice way to repay his cousin. Always loyal to you, Miss Tonks. Almost too loyal."

"Just keep your distance Severus... You jeopardise her safety, I'll kill you- no. I'll do better," He rose from his seat. "I'll curse you the best way I know how." He took a bite out of thin air.

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A/N:

Thanks to....

Natalie, LuthienGranger2004, Indhira Morillo, Zaphra Ti'Gan

i will e-mail you all when I get the chance, it's 1 am right now, so I will probably do it sometime tomorrow

CC

xxxxxx


	6. Lupin and Lupin

**__**

Lupin and Lupin

I hope you are all enjoying the story.

Tonks listened to the chug of the train and the thumping of the rain wrapped in Remus' overcoat. It was a comfort to her to have something of his so close. It wasn't a comfort to know that he had left the carriage mad at her. The landscape of what she assumed was France was entirely miserable. Just like her, she mused absentmindedly. She couldn't shake the image of Peter from her mind.

The moment she had landed in his lap all those years ago, she had screamed. She wailed at the top of her voice until there was no more air left in her aching lungs. He had looked like an over-grown rat. Those eyes that seemed to be permanently stuck out from his head staring down at her. Her flesh crawled where it met with his. The tiny hairs all over her body had stood on end.

Then she had gotten to know Peter. She had been forced to. Sirius always made sure if she wasn't entertaining him she was keeping company with Peter. Anything to keep her away from Remus. The only one she could have an intelligent conversation with.

Peter was sickly sweet. Too sweet. She always had her reservations about him. A niggle. An itch that just couldn't be reached. One day she would find it and give it a good old scratch.

Then _it_ all happened and Peter had died. Or so everyone thought. Tonks had felt so guilty that for one second, that one slip of grain within an hour glass, she did actually think Sirius had done it and killed him. Peter was a person you could only take in small doses, Tonks would never have blamed Sirius for reaching the end of his short tether and blasting him to oblivion.

But it was all those muggles that had meant her doubt only lasted that one insignificant second. Sirius loved her father; and he was a muggle. Lily was a muggle and Sirius adored her. He'd even given her away at Lily and James' wedding. He would not have killed all those people, accident or not.

Sirius was noble.

What was it Remus had said? She had turned him into a hero. She smiled at the thought. Yes, she probably had. The last time she had spoken to Sirius before the incident at the Department of Mysteries she had been fighting with him. She had called him an ogre. Without realising it, she had started crying. Sirius really was an ogre. He was a jealous, spoilt brat. He had wanted Tonks to idolise him. No one else saw the charm in his roguish nature except her.

He had thought that if Remus had succeeded in turning her into the "Lady" she secretly wanted to be, he's loose the only member of his fan club. By going to Azkaban, he won her back. Or so he thought. He'd never lost her. He never could.

And now he was gone.. She was alone.

"It's ok to remember him as a hero." Remus softly mutters sitting beside her. "I'm sorry." She curled up under his arm. She wasn't alone. She had Remus, Harry, Hermione and every single Weasley. She would never be alone.

"It;s ok; I needed that. He _was_ human, he did have his faults." Tonks whispered, closing her eyes. "I just wish none of this had happened. I wish James and Lily where here and that I got to grow up with Harry. I wish I was wrong about Peter." He kissed her forehead. "I wish I didn't fall, from you, from your grace, from everyone." She smiled. "And I wish I wasn't so bloody clumsy."

"My Lady, if you look for a utopia, you won't find it." Remus held her closer. "That's the whole point of life."

"And here's me thinking the whole point of life, was death." Tonks nodded into sleep. Only to be woken a moment later. Well, it had felt like that anyway.

They were a mile away from their hotel. Darkness was gripping it's way across the sky. Another two hours and it would be completely dark. They stepped off the train straight into a muggle taxi.

Hotel Poornima. The focal point of the Swiss wizarding community. The door opened up onto a large lobby of creams, golds and reds. Tonks and Remus were greeted at the reception by a small wizard with a twitch.

"I'm Mr David Klinton. Mr and Mrs Lupin I persume?" He questioned as he looked to Remus, who was holding Tonks up. She made to argue. Remus tugged lightly on her side.

"Yes." Remus smiled sweetly at his pretended spouse. The man went to retreive their keys.

"How long you been together?" The man asked returning to the desk.

"Huh?" Tonks replied instantly.

"Four years." Remus covered. "Is the table still reserved at Judaras?"

"Yes." The man smiled. "And your other guest?"

"-Come on dear.... You look awfully tired." Remus ushered her quickly into the lift and up into their room. Had there not of been a porter joining them in the lift she would have had it out with him there and then. Instead she waited until the porter had close the door of their hotel room;

"MR AND MRS LUPIN?!" Tonks roared, the fading light of the sun left a red light streaming through the open widow and from the enchanted ceiling. "Have you no respect! My cousin has forbidden me to have anything to do with you, and you go round proclaiming me as your wife." Tonks continued to rant while Remus busied himself with something the other side of the room. "My cousin will be turning in his grave right now-"

"Well technically he can't. We never found a body to bury so-" A pillow had landed directly in his face. "Sirius would have found that funny." It was his form of an apology. He knew she wouldn't accept it.

"I didn't." Tonks sighed. It was her own guilt. Her heart was telling her that she needed and wanted Remus. Her loyalty to Sirius was telling her to respect her cousin's wishes.

"Come here." He pulled her to the side of the bed where a couch was fully dressed as a bed. "I'll sleep on the couch." She looked unimpressed. "They are an old Christian community. If I was to say we where unmarried-"

"-Which we are-"

"- Let me finish." The teacher in him took over. His hand placed over her lips. She nodded. "We would have had to have separate rooms and a charm, just like the one stopping the boys entering the girls dormitories, would have stopped me entering your room. What would have happened if you collapsed again-"

"-I would have got to your room before that happened." Tonks smiled broadly. Remus saw Sirius in that smile.

"Don't be a smart arse." Remus smiled back. Sometimes the way Tonks said things, did things, it made Remus think that Sirius was still alive. There was so much of Siruis in the girl before him. She looked like a girl, sleepy and moody. Her complexion pale and heated.

"Who's the guest?" Tonks stretched out a yawn. Remus faltered on his way to the bathroom. He turned to look at her as if he hadn't heard what she had said.

"Oh, erm. They must have meant Mr Kant." Remus stuttered. The guest was Severus. When Remus had booked the rooms, he had booked them together and so the man at the desk naturally assumed it was another member of their party. Not a secret tailgater. For a moment Tonks didn't seem happy with the response. Then her frown lifted.

"Wish I could come with you. I don't want to be stuck in here on my own." She plopped herself down on the double bed. "Will you be gone long?" Remus laughed, and mumbled something about a faulty boiler. "Sorry?"

"Oh nothing. I'm just going to have a bath. I won't be long." He lifted expensive billowing robes from his bag and shuffled into the bathroom.

While listening to the running of the bath and the insistent humming of Tonks through the door, Remus began to get undressed. First his shoes. How old fashioned they were. Like the pair his grandfather used to wear. Those type that you say you'll never wear. Then he removed his jacket and jumper and began unbuttoning his shabby white cotton shirt. He wished he could afford new clothes. However unemployment wasn't all that lucrative, and the ones hanging on the door weren't his. The moment he reached the last button a stinging heat spread through his entire body, making him want to rip the skin from his body.

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A/N:

Indhira Morillo : Thank you, i'm glad you are enjoying and I promise to keep writing as long as you promise to keep reviewing. lol

Zaphra Ti'Gan: Welcome back, I hope I haven't finished the story by the time you read this because I love your reviews. Hope you had a good time on holiday

Stacey Pointe : I'm glad you are enjoying it... I'm surprised myself with the length, however, I feel I've gotten quite a lot out of it and considering that all these chapters, along with the next two where only going to take up two chapters I'm pretty please... I'm just not sure if I'm going to end it with them together, or apart. What do you think?

Philosopher: Welcome to my world, I've read your work, as I'm sure you know and I am chuffed that you like my story... you continue to review I'll continue to write. lol

Natalie: I did mean to e-mail, but i've had a looooooonnng day.... Hope you are still reading.

LuthienGranger2004: How do you think I'm doing now.

****

You might not be sure where I am taking this fic, however one thing I need help with is; should I get Tonks and Remus back together? Your opinion might changed from chapter to chapter, and I don't mind that.

CC


	7. Out Of the Clouds

Out Of The Clouds

Clouds had covered the enchanted ceiling by the time Tonks had decided to sit back and watch the last glimmer of light. She was now screwing up her nose, resisting the temptation to morph. Instead she tried to determine shapes from the clouds.

Remus was taking an awfully long time in the bath. She mused her gaze fixed on the door. He didn't usually. He was an in, out, shake it all about kind of guy. Perhaps he had changed in the six years since they had been together. And they had only been together for two. How much could she have learned in two years? That he was worse than a woman with PMS right before a full moon.

He was such a placid and amenable man that Tonks couldn't help but laugh at his feeble attempt at a mood swing. Of course, that's what always made him angry and it was then that the arguments started.

The cloud directly above her took the shape of a large rat. Peter, Tonks thought bitterly as the cloud began to thin, revealing the silver light of the moon. A crescent came through the cotton clouds.

Tonks blood ran cold.

Impossible.

"Remus?" Tonks shouted hesitantly. Silence. "Remus?! Are- are you ok?" She scrambled off the bed hastily, tripping on her bag as she made her way to the bathroom door. She knocked. "Rem?"

Thud.

"Rem?!" Tonks was living in a nightmare. It couldn't be a real full moon enchanted there on the ceiling filling the room with milky light. "Rem." She placed her hand on the door. it caved in to reveal Remus, half transformed.

"Leave." He said in a bare whisper. Tonks ignored him and propped him up. "Leave Tonks. I can't stop this."

"Fight it." Tonks held him up, looking him in the eye. "It's not real." She cupped his fur-lined face "The ceiling must be enchanted. Fight it Remus, this is not you, you're a good man. FIGHT!"

"Leave." He pushed her so hard she landed on the bed. It was too late. With an imminent howl Remus had fully transformed and had Tonks in his sight.

---------------

Severus had taken the room opposite them and had enchanted the door so he could see through into the hall. This was not his ideal way of spending his summer holidays. He had made plans.

Who was he kidding. His plans where always the same. Lurk around the school all summer. Feeling completely sorry for himself. On an odd occasion he'd appear at a Death Eater meeting; sneer at Lucius. The other odd occasions where taken up by Order meetings, in which he could not be completely involved as he was not truly believed. The only upside was that last summer he'd gotten to sneer at Sirius. Now the fool had gotten himself trapped behind the veil. Fool. Now he would have to return to sneering at Harry.

One name always cropped up when it came to him not being trusted. One person who looked at him with a suspecting gaze. One who was across the hall. Nymphadora Tonks. The Bain of his existence.

No doubt Sirius had told her countless tales about old Snivelus. Severus exhaled loudly. She was bitter and loathsome towards him from the moment she clapped eyes on him. What reason did she have for those sly comments, worthy of a Slytherin. Comments reserved by Draco for that imbecile Hagrid. Hate before you are hated. That's what Severus had learnt from Miss Tonks. If anyone could be blamed for the way he treated Harry, it was Tonks.

Yes. Everything could have been different had Tonks been a little kinder to him. It was after all, his first year teaching. After crawling on hands and knees to Albus; begging. Begging for forgiveness. He agreed on one condition; Severus Snape was to tell the headmaster all he knew about Sirius Black and his involvement with Voldermort.

There wasn't any. To his knowledge. Nor any with Peter Pettigrew for that matter. But perhaps by then, Voldermort had his doubts. Of course, the vindictive part of Severus led him to tell Albus that Black was indeed a death eater.

Moments later, a ten year old Tonks had arrived with her mother. Severus pondered, after all these years he saw it. She had heard him condemning her cousin.

Thud.

A noise had come from Remus and Miss Tonks' room. Severus was half raised from his chair when a howl could be heard from the room. It wasn't a full moon tonight. Severus thought as he consulted the crescent moon that was present on his ceiling.

Perhaps Remus had decided to pin Tonks down once and for all. Severus thought as he sat back down on with wing-backed chair that was facing the door. The tension between the two was unbearable. It was only a matter of time before Remus would break Tonks and shatter her principles.

As long as Remus wasn't late for his meeting with Kant. He hated people to be late. He hated people. No, it wasn't people Kant hated, it was their treatment of each other. Severus thought bleakly about his education with the man. He had thrown it all back in the mans face without a second thought. He regretted it now.

A second later, Remus appeared in the hallway, making sure the door was closed firmly.

What on earth was he wearing?

Severus straightened in his chair. Remus was wearing what must have been the shabbiest robes he possessed. What had happened to the robes he had lent him. Severus could feel a headache coming on. Appearances where everything when Mr Kant was concerned.

This is going to be a disaster. Severus decided he would have to have a drink before he followed the imbecile.

----------------------

"I'm here to meet Mr Kant." Remus had informed the waiter at the entrance. Looking round, he could not see any females in the large room full of booths and tables.

"Follow me." The waiter took a menu from the pile and directed Remus to the furtherest booth from the door. Secluded.

"Hello." Mr Kant stood as Remus approached. shaking his hand gently. He was not at all like he expected. Remus was expecting a shrivelled, grumpy looking man. He could not be more opposite. His robes were pale blue, and he had the broadest smile.

"Mr Kant-" Remus slid into the opposite side of the booth.

"Alexander, please" His accent was rich and friendly.

"Thank you for seeing me." Remus smiled as the man opposite him waved over the waiter.

"A fire whiskey... And what would you like, Miss Tonks?"

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A/N: I don't think I've looked over this chapter yet so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. Loads of People want me to get Tonks and Remus back together, although I do think your opinion might change next chapter, where you will see the start of the true plot develop. I think I'm going to have to involve Peter somewhere down the line. Are there any other characters you would like to see?

Big Thank you's to;

Tai Ryder, glad you are liking it.

kgh: Aren't they just.

Stacey Pointe; I'm still not sure, but we'll have to wait and see.

Ivy Crane: I'll do my best to

Indhira Morillo: Hope you weren't waiting too long

Philosopher: I think my characters are as confused about their feelings as I am... but I think I know where I'm taking it.


	8. Delicate Condition

_**Delicate Condition**_  
  
"Of course. In your condition, you should not have any alcohol." He smiled at Tonks. She remained in her disguise as Remus, even though it was causing her excruciating pain. She had tried so hard to morph into Remus, one plus point of being his girlfriend was on many occasions when he slept with her, she'd stay awake, studying his face while he slept and dreamed. "Or even be morphing for that matter." He raised an eyebrow to Tonks gaping mouth. "close your mouth; you look like a fish. My guest will have a water thank you Francis." The waiter left the table and Tonks went to leave. "Where are you going child?"  
  
"I've disrespected you. I'm sorry. I should never have come." Tonks tried, and failed to get out of the booth. Her energy was flagging already.  
  
"You've shown me great respect by hiding yourself despite your condition, knowing I can not look upon a woman. Please sit down."  
  
"But I was dishonest, I'm so sorry." Tonks felt deeply ashamed. She should have known it would not work. She had sedated the werewolf Remus and transformed herself. What would Moody say to her antics. Constant vigilance. How could she do that when she was in pain from morphing and how Remus could wear these clothes day in, day out she'd never know. The tweed was making her itch, and her shoulder felt sore. It was driving her mad. So much that she couldn't concentrate on anything; only Remus could have that effect on her.  
  
"What happened to the real Mr Lupin?" Alexander questioned cleaning the cutlery before him with a handkerchief.  
  
"He's safe, he's erm- detained that's all." Tonks found her Remus-shaped cheeks burning up. She felt hot, if she told him what company she kept would he turn her away? "He's a we-"  
  
"Werewolf, I know. But the full moon is not out for another week." Alexander explained casually. Tonks looked dumbfounded at him.  
  
"You knew? He was a werewolf-"  
  
"How could I not. All Severus did was moan about Remus, James and Sirius." Alexander sighed. "Great mind," He leaned over to Tonks. "Lousy personality." Tonks laughed along with Alexander.  
  
"He spent three years with you, how did you not have an effect on him?" Tonks wondered why Severus was trying to make the man before her out to be someone to fear. Perhaps Severus had been ashamed of him.  
  
"I did. I thought I did." He took his drink from the waiter. "Most of the things he's said are probably true. It's just the way he's said them. Makes me sound either boring or sinister. Makes people wonder if I was the one who directed him to the dark arts."  
  
"Typical Snape, sarky bastard." Tonks winced. She could not stay this way much longer. "Why did he turn?"  
  
"What motivates anyone?" Alexander questioned. Tonks knew by the tone of his voice what the answer was.  
  
"Love." Tonks smiled bitterly. She knew all too well the motivation of love. There was one question she therefore must ask. "Is that why you won't-"  
  
"Yes, Miss Tonks. I will not look upon a woman for fear of falling in love." Tonks thought this was absurd. Why would anyone want to do that?  
  
"There is a saying; It's better to of loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."  
  
"Did you say that at the end of your last break up?" For a man who had never ventured out of his home city, he was quite wise. "Or did you mentally hex every single person who said that exact phrase to you while you wept over your lost love?" Tonks pondered. And smiled inwardly.  
  
"I mentally hexed everyone." She then thought about when Remus and herself had broken up. "But they were telling me there were plenty of fish in the sea. You're right of course, because if there is only one true love, and you loose them your doomed never to fall in love again." Tonks muttered soberly. Had Remus been her one true love. She'd lost him because of Sirius. The thought of never being in love again broke her. Until she remembered with a lightened heart that she still loved Remus. Was that a gift, or a curse.  
  
"You are an extremely bright woman." He handed her a small bottle. "Dilute this with your water." She removed the cork stopped and poured the milky liquid into her beaker of water. "Drink it quickly. By tomorrow, you will be able to morph properly again."  
  
"Jewish men pray everyday, thanking god they were not made a woman. I used to hate that, as if a woman held a handicap." She raised the beaker to her lips. "But today, I feel like being a woman is a curse. I'm jealous of Severus Snape for being able to be taught under you, and I hate him for throwing it back in your face." She downed the beaker of water  
  
"Do not be so quick to judge him. There may come a time when he can help you. Like now for instance."  
  
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Remus clambered out of the statue of the one-eyed witch to be pulled into a tight embrace by Tonks. Her lips tasted of cherries. He devoured her lips, claiming them as his own.  
  
"I take it you missed me then?!" She asked breathless, her lips stinging. It was nearing midnight on a cold January, two months since he had mowed her down outside the Hogs Head. Somewhere in a sleeping Remus mind he was telling himself it was a dream and he had somewhere he needed to be. But it was too good a dream to be broken from. There before him was a sixteen year old Tonks, dressed in silver satin pyjamas and a dressing gown.  
  
She was teasing her twenty-eight year old boyfriend. And it was working. He was flustered and didn't want to stop at devouring her lips. He wanted to taste all of her. The gleam in her eye told him she wanted him as much. But was that because it was Remus' dream. Did she have that lustful look all those years ago?  
  
"Of course." He brushed his fingers through her apple coloured hair that fell to beyond her hips. She was later to tell him that she was starting to get told off for changing the colour of her hair and that during school hours she could only have it either her natural colour or those of her house.   
  
Since that night outside the Hogs Head, Remus was venturing into the castle more frequently. It had been the beginning of last month when Tonks had kissed him, out of the blue. What was even more shocking was he found himself kissing her back. It had felt right, they had fit perfectly together.   
  
"Shall we go?" He held out his hand for her to take.  
  
"Yes!" Tonks looked at the Murderers map to check the coast was clear. It had been one of many Christmas presents from Remus.  
  
In a whirlwind blur they where inside the room of requirement. A log fire burning. They were spread out on a cream rug, candles floating delicately above them. Remus was tickling Tonks into giving him back his shirt which he had lost in a hand of strip poker... moments later the shirt was discarded, the game forgotten and they were kissing passionately.  
  
"Was it a painful transformation?" Tonks asked, spread out on his chest once they were both rendered breathless.  
  
"No... Not really, you kept me company." He tugged on her hair. How was he here. A beautiful, young girl draped over his chest. This was the role for James or Sirius. Not the werewolf. Never the werewolf.  
  
"I'd like to." Tonks whispered, her hand tracing a heart on his chest. "Keep you company I mean." She backed up off him. "I've been practicing." She slowly transformed into a large mountain cat. Collapsing beside him she purred and began licking Remus' face.  
  
"No Nymphad-" The mountain cat spasmed and turned into a kitten before she could control herself and turn back into herself. "-And that's the reason." He pointed a finger at her.  
  
"Well." She flustered. ",you know not to call me that." She defended lightly.  
  
"Is that what you'll say when I bite you?!" He tried his best to sound angry, all she did was smile. Her hand fell, resting on his belt buckle.  
  
"No. I'd say; Mark but this flea, and mark in this, How little that thou deny'st me is-" He's heard it before. It was her way of seducing him. A book he had given her. A collection of poetry by John Donne. How much he regretted it now. "Or I'd say, The foe is oft-times, having the foe in sight; Is tired with standing, though they never fight." Both where all too aware of the connotation of her words. He would not give in no matter. Even if it was a dream.  
  
"No Tonks." He hushed her with his hand.  
  
"But I'm ready-" He pulled her hands away from his lower half and pulled her back onto his chest.  
  
"I'm not." He kissed her head. "I don't want to hurt you-"  
  
-----------  
  
Remus bolted upright. The hotel room was pitch black. He had been getting ready to have a bath. Then something happened, he felt as if he was turning. As if there was a full moon.  
  
There was a full moon. He looked to the ceiling, the night sky was clear now, the crescent moon smiling innocently at him.  
  
Then he saw her. Sitting on the wing backed chair, watching him. The gleam in her eye gave her away. She was angry.  
  
"Tonks?" He questioned, his eyes adjusting to the light. "I'm sorry. What happened?" He sat up on the bed. She didn't move. For the first few seconds she just starred at him.  
  
"Someone enchanted the ceiling..." She held her head. He made to go to her. "It's ok." She put up her hand in protest. As if she was frightened of him.  
  
"It's not. I'm too late... I should have gone to see him-" He looked at the clock. "Two hours ago." Remus felt his stomach knot.  
  
"I went myself." Now he looked, he could see that she was wearing a pair of his trousers and one of his shirts. There was a dark patch on the left shoulder. Then his senses filled with that smell. The smell that turned his stomach. Blood. Remus hastily turned the bedside lamp on. Knocking it to the floor in the process.  
  
"What did he do to you? You're bleeding." He jumped from the bed to the bathroom with the intention of getting a towel to stop the bleeding.  
  
It was destroyed. Everything. The shower curtain looked like a chew toy, the sink had been dismounted from the wall and Remus had a sinking feeling. He returned to the room with fear in his heart.  
  
She still hadn't moved. Not even a muscle. She couldn't, she was in shock. He couldn't blame her.  
  
"He didn't do anything, did he?" Remus choked. "It was me!" A tear trickled down his face.  
  
Tonks nodded weakly; "You've bitten me."   
  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
A/N  
  
Philosopher : So glad you like enough to read it again, jeez, I'm blushing  
  
Indhira Morillo: Hope this chapter cleared things up  
  
One more chapter is written and waiting to be posted... I hope to work on it tomorrow otherwise it might be a while before I get back to it. Let me know what you think. 


	9. You Made Him Right

__

You Made Him Right

Remus' heart caught in his throat. Bile retched and threatened to spill up from his stomach.

_You kill the thing you love the most! You've kill the thing you love the most_. someone had once said that to him. Remus, young and arrogant, had scoffed. Now he saw it's meaning. He had cursed his one true love. Tonks had now gotten up and proceeded to the bed to fling things at him. She didn't have the energy and just slumped on the bed.

"Do you realise what you've done?" She whispered. He looked at her blankly. He had gone deaf to the world. All he could hear was the blood pounding in his ears. "DO YOU?!" She screamed at him. Anger welling in her eyes.

His orders had been to protect her and make her better, not curse her to a life dictated around the moon. She had wanted a life. He had taken away with one quick bite. He run his tongue over his bottom lip. He could still taste her.

"I've cursed you." Remus mumbled, not avoiding the flying pillow that Tonks managed to hurl.

"No Remus." She breathed slowly, begging him to come closer. He knelt before her, weeping into her open hands. "I don't care about that....It's _worse_ than that. You've proved my cousin _right_. You've proved that no matter how careful we were, how chaste you made me. You still hurt me in the way you feared most. You've still bitten me, despite everything." He collapsed before her. "You've proven him right." She choked.

"I've ruined your life." He whispered into his shaking hands.

"No." She answered sharply pulling his face to look at her. "You've made a mockery of our relationship. Do you realise, We didn't have to be together for this to happen. And you stopped us-"

"Hush. It's in the past now. We can't changed it now." He stood, it seemed as if he had composed himself. "Severus is here."

"I know. He brought me home. He guessed it was me from your shabby robes. He said to tell you if you have so much as put a pull in his robes, he'll kill you." Tonks smiled bitterly. "You've clawed them to shreds...." She thought carefully about what she was going to say. She had to tell him.

"There may be a cure." Remus looked up hopefully. "As long as I get it before the next full moon, it might work." She looked bashfully to her hands. "Do- Do you want me to stay with you- Um- Like this? We can be together."

"No." Remus answered without waiting a heartbeat. He moved away from her. Just as he had done before. He would not look at her to see the hurt in face "I wouldn't wish this on anyone, never mind you. If there is a cure for you. Please take it. I'm not worth destroying your life for."

_You are though_. Tonks thought. But the look in Remus' eye was telling her there was no room to argue.

"Perhaps it will work for you too, if-" She stopped walking over to him. "-If it were modified."

"Don't waste your time on an old fool who has condemned you." He answered forcefully. Her eyes dulled over. "I don't love you Nymphadora. I have clearly, finally, proved that to you tonight. Hopefully you have got it into your skull now." His heart was breaking to lie to her. "Get yourself cured. That's all I ask."

"If you didn't love me; You wouldn't be crying now." She stood defiantly. She'd heard it all from him before. "You really are just a coward. At least the werewolf in you wasn't frightened of breaking me." Tonks shouted, her heart racing. "Jesus Christ, sometimes Severus has more balls than you. He risked everything to come and get me tonight. He's speaking with Alexander now. He's faced his fears. Why can't you."

"Yes, Tonks. The werewolf in me may be more forceful. But I can't control it." He angered. "Why do you think I kept you at arms length?" She was no longer interested.

"All the more reason to see if this cure will work. Remus, it's been a long day. I'm tired and we are leaving for home tomorrow. I need sleep" She flung Severus' room key at him. "Maybe, it would have been better if you had gotten us separate rooms." He walked out the room without another word. "I told you never to call me Nymphadora." She muttered after him.

Her head buzzed. She could feel the potion getting to work. She had been fighting sleep for a while now and the moment her head hit the pillow she fell into a deep sleep. In sleep she dreamed. First it was about the first time she rode a broom. A dream she didn't mind. Then suddenly, without warning, she entered a dream that wasn't entirely her own creation.....

An arm tangled itself around Tonks waist. And lips nuzzled her neck.

"Morning dear." A voice came from behind her. It was Remus. Her mind was telling her they were married. And sure enough, when she looked down to her wedding finger, an elegant ring was encrusted there. She pulled him tighter. If this was a dream she would stay here, forever.

"Morning." She answered sleepily, mentally wondering how ironic it was that she was dreaming about herself being in bed.

"We should get up." He prompted. For some reason Tonks thought that if she were to get up. Everything would go wrong.

"No. We can stay here. Forever." Tonks assured him. "Forever and Ever."

"I can feel the tug of

the halter at the nape

of her neck, the wind

on her naked front."

"What on earth did you say that for?" Tonks remembered the poem, it was _Punishment_, it was about a young girl who had slept with a solider and was being punished by her community for it.

She turned round.

She had hoped to see Remus there beside her in the bed. The air caught in her chest.

"Sirius." She whispered. "We haven't done-"

"I can see her drowned-" James stepped out from the shadows.

"Stop it." Tonks shouted.

"Her shaved head-" Peter appeared from nowhere, Remus limp in his arms.

"You betrayed me cousin. Fair cousin." Sirius brushed Tonks' cheek.

"I don't know what your problem is?" Tonks pushed him away.

"yet understand the exact and tribal, intimate revenge."...................

Tonks screamed herself awake, cold sweat drenching her back. She stumbled from the bed and made her way to the bathroom. The mirrored cabinet had been knocked from the wall and had to be picked up and replaced with a wave of Tonks' wand.

She mentally screamed, before rejoicing. The image of the young girl with shaven hair that had plagued Tonks as a child was painted onto her own face. Her hair was like a stubble of black corn. It meant her powers were back. The potion Alexander had given her had worked.

One down. One to go.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Remus had awoken by the same dream, he had been seeing though Sirius' eyes and had held on a little longer. He had seen himself be killed by Peter. One thing Remus feared most of all.

He was the only person Peter had not tried to break. Perhaps Peter saw Remus as a fool who was already cursed. Only hope and time would tell.

Severus was back and lightly dosing on the chair. He was awoken by Remus' light murmur from the shock of the dream. It had Remus rattled and Severus irate.

"Thank you for taking my bed." Severus muttered cracking his neck stiffly.

"Tonks said you suggested I-"

"I suggested that she stay here. Seeing as I didn't know whether you had transformed back or not. How ironic. What was it you said- a freak full moon. Talk about tempting fate."

"What time is it?" Remus questioned ignoring Severus' bait.

"A little after five. We are to leave at seven, the train will be waiting to take us home."

"Is it true about a cure?" Remus stretched.

"Yes. Only for her. While I was under the supervision of Mr Kant, my task was to study the lives of werewolves. I believed I found a cure, however when I tried it. It didn't work, the person had been a werewolf too long." Severus explained. Remus pounced pinning Severus to the wing backed chair.

"Then how the hell do you know it will work."

"Because I purposely got myself bitten, and cured myself." Severus sneered. "Why? Are we jealous?"

"All I care about is curing Nymphadora." Remus stiffened. Yes, he would love to be free of the curse. But at what price? He had survived so long. In fact he'd been cursed so long, he had no idea how it would affect him not to turn every month. "Promise me you'll protect her."

"I could not do that. I would not like to disappoint her like you did," Severus smiled curtly, standing so Remus had to remove his hands. "Now. I'm going to have a shower. I'd go and awaken Miss Tonks-"

"She's awake." Remus answered sharply.

"And how-"

"I just know."


	10. Home

**__**

Home

This has just, right this second been finished so please bare with me if it sucks.

Tonks collapsed on the seat opposite Severus and Remus who sat silently together on the Hogwarts Express as dawn approached outside. She was trying to ignore the immense power that was welling up inside her. Desperate to get out. It was intoxicating and frightening to know soon she would no longer have any control.

"And here's me thinking I was going to go home feeling better." Tonks closed her eyes and wished away the flush of heat that came upon her. "-Excuse me again," She left unceremoniously, bashing into the carriage door in her mad dash to the toilet.

"Is this normal?" Remus asked watching her dash down the carriage.

"You of all people should know." Severus hissed returning to his copy of the Daily Prophet. Remus resented Severus' assumption; he was very young when he had been bitten and could therefore not remember his turn. Severus noted his pause and decided to inform the unenlightened one. "Yes. The symptoms Miss Tonks shows are completely normal if not a little premature. Perhaps it has something to do with her ability to morph."

"Does it affect your ability to cure her." Remus matched Severus' formal tone.

"Are you underestimating my ability?!" Snape questioned rhetorically. "As long as the wound does not heal we will not have a problem." He smiled vindictively "That is of course, as long as we are not subjected to another one of your freak full moons-"

"-You are not trying to suggest that Remus wished that moon upon himself." Tonks appeared in the doorway, sponging her clammy face.

"What do you suggest then Miss Tonks?" Severus questioned, watching Tonks sit down once again.

"It was wizard made. A spell-" Tonks winced and corrected. "-A curse. Someone knew we would be there."

"Who? The only people who knew about our expedition were members of the Order." Severus mocked her. Tonks noted that Remus would not look her in the eye and purposely found something else to busy his train of thought.

"Ha ha. You will not trick me into forgetting myself Mr Snape, I'm am wise to my assumptions now and the trouble I got in for speaking my mind. I realise-" She suppressed the need to throw up once again. After a few moments silence she began again "I realise how dangerous my accusations can be. How they can blacken someone, indefinitely." She chanced a look at Remus, who pretended to be deaf to the conversation. "I will not give you my opinion." She sat back, pulling her now long hair over her shoulder and closing her eyes. Severus looked entirely repulsed at her ability to stop the argument. She had won and taken the upper ground. There was no room for him to sneer.

"That said." Tonks piped up. "One from our mist successfully betrayed us once before. It is unwise to think that lighting can not strike twice." Remus looked at her. Her eyes were still closed. But somewhere, deep down, Remus knew she was looking at him. "Oh, and Severus." It shocked both men hear her be so bold as to utter the feared ones name. "Alexander has promised to apprentice me next summer, if I can complete one task." She smiled despite herself.

She was still looking at him; could find him if she were blind. He thought lovingly closing his eyes, wishing reality away as if it were a bad dream.

Hours later, Tonks decided it was stupid to pretend to be asleep. Her head was telling her she had slept too long. Opening her eyes she found both men before her asleep.

Remus, his head resting on the carriage door, as far away from Severus as he could manage. His eyebrows knitted together as if his conscious was having a battle within his skull. Her poor knight. He had enough things to battle without fighting his own moral. She would welcome condemnation as a werewolf, allow her society to turn its back on her, as long as Remus would stand by her. Hold her hand as they braved the moonlight together.

Her eyes moved from Remus to Severus.

_I hate you! _She mentally muttered. She always thought Severus could read her thoughts. She didn't want to wake him by mentally shouting. How she hated the fact that her life rested on the man who slept so stiffly. He did not care if she lived or died.

Perhaps he has changed. He did risk an awful lot to join her, to save her from Bellatrix's curse. Now he was helping her again, to what benefit?

No. Once a worm, always a worm. He still have connections to Slytherin. He did not enter lightly when he joined the death eaters, and he could never truly leave them even if he wanted to. After all those years of punishing her, how could she think about him any different? Her mind began floating to a memory of the man she despised...........

Tonks watched herself fix her uniform and rasp the dungeon door. A permission to enter bellowed from inside. She slid through the open door and into the cold classroom.

"Lines Miss Tonks." A youthful Snape drawled sitting at his desk. His hair as greasy as ever.

"I do believe that this punishment is unfair-" Tonks was cut short.

"-You do?! Now surprises me. Come now Miss Tonks, the petty woman who has an opinion for everything. Why is this punishment unfair?" Tonks blushed at his description of her.

"Thackery Spoart made the exact same mistake as me. All he has to do is write a report on the properties of a shrinking potion- While I get the company of you!" She spat. Instantly regretting what she had said. He had raised him self and walk to behind her and hissed.

"And what delightful company it is too. Lines! Miss Tonks" She had felt every word on the back of her neck, sending a shiver down her spine. Tonks had quite forgotten the effect that had on a deprived girlfriend of Remus Lupin.

Now her present thoughts took over like a lucid dream. She turned and kissed the man behind her, pressing him down until his back was resting on the desk behind him. He tasted different than Remus. There was power and confidence in his kiss.

The thud of the door brought Tonks head up. There in the doorway was Remus. Heartbroken. Tonks' world went black as the figure beneath her began shaking her violently. This was what death felt like..........

"Shit!" Severus' panicked voice woke Remus abruptly. "Shit." He repeated lying the fitting Tonks down on the carriage floor. "Miss Tonks."

"Tonks?" Remus shouted checking out the trains window. It was mid day and there was no sign of the moon. "What's happening Severus?" He watched Tonks jerk beneath Severus hands.

He watched Severus pull Tonks' blood stained t-shirt away from her shoulder.

"She's healed herself. Do you have a knife?" Severus yelled Placing her head on his lap. "A knife Remus." He shouted bringing Remus back to his senses. Within a second he had retrieved his penknife from his bag and handed it to Severus. Reopening the wound the fitting woman let out a piercing scream and continued to spasm.

Remus was loosing her. He could loose her. Not like this. He removed his watch and proceeded to turn it into a portkey.

"We'll have to risk it." Remus held it out for Severus to touch. He hesitated. "I'm not loosing her Severus."

"Remus, would you rather have her a werewolf or dead? Using that could kill her. She's to important to the cause to loose."

"She stays a werewolf, you might as well kill her. She'll loose her job; at the school and the ministry. She'll be an outcast. She's done that, and it almost killed her. She can't do it again." He moved towards Severus. "Please take this risk." Severus nodded raising Tonks in his arms and ignoring her struggles, placed his hand on the watch.

What felt like an eternity the trio arrived in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. Molly gasped at the sight and left Bill and Charlie to take over. They removed everything from the kitchen table in one quick motion and allowed Severus to place her on the table.

Remus grabbed a wooden spoon from the side and moved to her head.

"Bite down." He whispered to her so no one else could her. "Bite down my lady." He pressed down through her lips and her teeth.

"I'll be back." Severus swept to the fireplace. "Keep her head still. We don't want her to get brain damage." With that Severus was gone. Charlie removed his jumper and passed it to Remus who placed it underneath her head.

"What happened dear." Molly asked on the brink of tears. "Isn't she cured?"

"I've- I've-" He couldn't say it. If he didn't say it, it wouldn't be true.

"You've bitten her?" Bill asked, wide eyed. He had known Tonks for many years and had grown quite fond of her. "But there shouldn't have been a full moon." Bill held down her kicking legs.

"Someone enchanted our ceiling." Remus blushed crimson. How had he been so foolish.

"Then, dear, it wasn't your fault." Molly's hand rested on Remus' arm.

"Of course it was my fault Molly." Remus' hands firmly on Tonks' quivering head. "Constant Vigilance. I was apprenticed my Moody don't you know. I've been away from auror duties for far too long."

"She'll forgive you." Bill assured Remus. Bill knew of Tonks' love for him.

"It is not her place to forgive me." Remus answered.

"-Stop feeling sorry for yourself." Came the harsh words of Severus Snape who had flood back that very second. He pushed Remus out the way and removed the spoon from her mouth. Keeping her mouth open with one hand, he used the other to retrieve a small bottle of petals from his robes.

The petals of a moonflower. How apt, Remus thought bitterly.

Severus removed a petal from the bottle and placed it gently on her tongue. It made no difference.

"It's too late." Remus muttered.

"Give it time." Molly eased him down onto a seat beside the table. She then latched her hand onto his shoulder. A moment later Tonks fell limp on the table. The exact second that Moody decided to arrive with Harry, Ron and Hermione in tow.

----------------------

Indhira Morillo: It wasn't until you mentioned it. Now it seems to fit in with the story so I'm going with it. Hoped you liked this chapter

Philosopher: You really liked it then. Oh good. That's all I seem to have Tonks doing in this fic though.... Sleeping. Well, she won't get much from now on.... She's a girl on a mission now.


	11. Damned

****

Damned

__

Sorry it's taken me so long.... I've had to sit down for three hours straight to get this out.

Over the few weeks leading to the start of term Tonks drifted in and out of a heavy sleep mumbling for Sirius and Remus on odd occasions. Sometimes she would even call out for Andromeda.

Now it came to the morning before Harry and the other were to return to Hogwarts minus a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Remus awoke his head resting on Tonks' bed like he had done for the last few weeks to find it empty.

She was awake.

He heard laughter and cheering downstairs. After raising himself from his chair and stretching all the kinks from his aching muscles he made he way down the stairs. No-one was in the living room but the backdoor was open. He continued to go back down to the kitchen-

The backdoor was open? Ivy had overgrown and blocked the door closed years ago. Remus doubled back and headed into the overgrown garden. Ginny was helping Hermione and Ron to clean up the algae infected pond. Fred and George were making a meal of cutting the grass with charmed Grass Imps. Bill and Charlie were conjuring a marque and Molly and Arthur were setting the table.

"Remus. You're up! We're having a party!" Hermione smiled, the first person to notice the unkempt man. His moustache had now formed a beard over his face. It did nothing but age him. "Perhaps we could borrow your music. I'm sure Tonks likes it."

"It's about time we had something to celebrate." Arthur joined Remus in the doorway. "Nobody was in any mood to celebrate Harry's birthday."

"Were are they both?" Remus asked. "I want to speak to Tonks."

"They went to Diagon Ally. Tonks said she needed new robes and she wanted to buy Harry a birthday present." Arthur explained. "Then Tonks is going to take him to a Muggle church to light a candle for Sirius... I'm unfamiliar with the concept. Do you know anything about it Remus?"

"Hum- Of yes. Only a little. It's a Christian tradition that you light a candle as a sort of everlasting light. It a representation that the loved one will never be forgotten. Tonks took me once... Well I had to take her, she was in her last year. When her mother died." Remus wasn't aware that he was still talking. "A broken heart."

"Because of Sirius?" Arthur brought Remus back to reality.

"In a way." Remus sighed "Tonks was so adamant that Sirius was innocent that nothing her mother could say could convince her otherwise... Andromeda said it was either her or Sirius. Tonks picked Sirius. If he was to be alone, she would be too. I don't think he ever appreciated what she had done for him. If he did, he wouldn't have gone to the DoM that night." Remus thought carefully about what he was about to say. "He had replaced Tonks the moment he escaped from Azakaban. Harry replaced Tonks."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The curtain was pulled open and out stepped a washed out Tonks wearing black formal robes.

"They're not you Tonks!" Harry informed her as she twirled. "You look like the Mistress of Snape." Tonks placed her hands on her hips and glared. "Come on Tonks. You'll look like every single teacher in the school. Just dress as yourself."

"And what happens when some girls in your class start idolising me and copies. They did not approve of my style when I was a student. I doubt very much they like it if they have a dozen or so clones running around the school." Harry's mind instantly picked out Lavender Brown and her best friend. Tonks looked at herself in the mirror. "But you are right. This just isn't me. damn, if only I hadn't left it so late."

"It's not as if you could help it Tonks." Harry grumbled. He hated Remus for what he had done to Tonks.

"Don't be angry at him." Tonks bent down to talk to the sitting Harry. She brushed the hair away from his scar motherly. "Things happen for a reason Harry. This was someones doing, not Remus'"

"Still. Sirius was right though. He was dangerous for you, it was only a matter of time before-"

"-Hang on one minute. What did Sirius say to you?" Tonks gripped Harry's hands when he tried to look away. "What?"

"He said, if anything was to happen to him I was to make sure nothing ever happened between you two." He felt himself burning up. "He said he was glad you weren't biting each others heads off... But I couldn't let it go beyond friendship, he would rather see you with Snape."

"That insufferable git!" Tonks paced the robe shop.

"I know. Snape's a git-"

"Not Snape, Sirius. Even in death he'd be jealous!" Tonks fumed picking sets of lavender, pink, red and green robes that were more her style. Harry personally thought they had caught her eye the moment she had walked in the shop but she was trying to be conservative. Without trying them on she handed them to the shop girl "I'll take these. I'll be back Harry, I just need to get changed."

Moments later she reappeared and paid for the robes and left the shop. She then headed into Florish and Blotts and straight up to the counter.

"Miss Tonks." The sheepish blonde man greeted cheerily.

"Hello." She handed four inches of parchment with a list of books to the man. "Can I have twenty copies of each book owled to Hogwarts by tomorrow."

"Right away Miss Tonks." He blushed slightly as she waved goodbye. On her way out the shop she tripped on the step landing face down on the cobbles of the street.

"How the mighty have fallen." A drawling voice cooed to Tonks. All she saw was a black cane. She reckonised the cane.

"I don't ever recall you thinking me mighty, Lucius!" She aloud herself to be picked up by Harry. However, Lucius pinned her to the wall of Florish and Blotts with his cane. "How did you slime your way out of Azakaban?" She knew it was fruitless. She would not get an answer. He instead poked her harder with his cane. No passer-by looked. They all averted their eyes to the Great Lucius Malfoy.

"Potter!" Draco interrupted as Harry made a second attempt to rescue Tonks from the cobbled floor.

"You touch him; You'll wish you weren't going back to school." Tonks threatened.

"And why would that be Nymphadora?" Lucius hissed.

"You're looking at the new Defence Against the Dark Arts-" Tonks informed with pride, until Lucius cut her off.

"Not if the rumours are true." Tonks' blood ran cold. How could he know? The only people who knew were members of the Order. She looked blankly at Lucius. It only infuriated him more "You've been bitten by that half-breed lover of yours-" Tonks had enough. Enraged she grabbed the black cane and spun Lucius round so his back was against the wall, the cane pinning him embedding itself in the fabrics that gathered at his stomach. "You have the strength of a cursed creature Nymph."

"Whether I am cursed or not is not your concern. Nor the status of my relationship with any cursed creature that could have bitten me." Tonks stood as close to him as she could bare. "You have no power in that school anymore."

"I'm still a parent of a child in that school." Lucius whispered. "You put him in danger-"

"If you fear for his safety. Transfer him to another school. Those students have not had a stable teacher in that school for many years now. I intend to stay. Now a jumped up pure-blood wizard like you isn't going to stop me." She walked away.

"But what about all the other parents. They won't want them taught by a werewolf; they didn't last time." Lucius shouted after her.

"Lucky I'm not a werewolf then!" She shouted back without turning back. She smiled knowing that Lucius' sickly smile was fading in the fleeting moments.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"Lucius is free!" Tonks informed the moment she walked in, before anyone could utter "Surprise". "And he knows I was bitten." Harry followed her into Grimmauld Place laden with bags. Arthur was the first person she met. "Did you know he was free."

"Yes. I did Tonks. It came up in an Order meeting three nights ago. He's been cleared of all charges. He had evidence to prove he wasn't there as a Death Eater and the court lapped it up." Arthur hugged the woman tightly so she dropped her bags. "Lets not think about it now. We have arranged a party in yours and Harry's honour. In the garden. We opened up the back garden." He ushered them both outside were everyone sat under the marquee. Even Severus Snape was there. Looking entirely out of place. There were two empty seats. One between Severus and Remus and another between Ron and Ginny.

"Looks like we are getting divided Harry. Sorry we didn't get to go to the church. I really didn't feel like leaving Dia-"

"Somehow, I doubt it would have done any good Tonks. I prefer not to think about him. If I think to long...." He couldn't find the words to explain to Tonks how he crawled up into a ball and cried like a baby whenever his thoughts wandered to where Sirius was now.

"It's ok Harry. People deal differently." Tonks knew though that he wasn't dealing, he was bottling it up. "Go to your friends. Have a good rest because I'm going to work you so hard-"

"Gotcha!" Harry couldn't get to his friends fast enough. Leaving Tonks to amble along to Severus and Remus. It was Severus who pulled out her chair.

"Thank you." Tonks nodded in his direction.

"How are you feeling after your first day on your feet." Severus questioned as he poured Goblin Ale.

"Tiring!" She put up her feet on the edge of the chair and rested her chin upon her knees. "And informative."

"In what way?" Severus inquired. Tonks, forgetting herself went to answer honestly, that she still thought that there was a spy in the mists. Then she remembered who he was. Severus Snape, the ex-death eater. The only ex-death eater at the table.

"I found a new book." Tonks lied. "A book I've been looking for a while. I thought it was by a muggle. It turns out it was by a wizard- Remus" She turned her head looking for a way out. "-Do you remember the writer of The Crucible?"

"Arthur Miller, yes" Remus' attention remained focused directly on his dinner.

"He's a wizard. Did you know that?" She did, herself know he was a wizard and it had long been there code to get the other out of a dire conversation.

"Yes. I did." He answered flatly turning to Arthur to continue his conversation about drills and other equipment used for D.I.Y. Tonks burned. What had she done to deserve such a frosty response. It wasn't as if it was she who had bitten him.

After watching Harry cut his large birthday cake and show off his Quidditch kit that Tonks had bought him. Remus made his excuses and left the party.

He was halfway up the second set of stairs when he felt the presence of someone else behind him.

"Go away Tonks!" He sighed. He could feel that she was angry and that she would not leave. She caught up to him instantly. His eyes dropped to the floor. "What?"

"Why won't you look to me?" Tonks questioned, her hand raising to his cheek. He flinched.

"Because I'm too blind to see!" Remus answered bitterly. She recognised the words.

"Why won't you look at me?!" Tonks would not accept the answer.

"BECAUSE I'M AFRAID TO BREATH!" Remus shouted. Their song. The lyrics from their song! She understood. He didn't want her to forgive him for biting her. The trouble was, she never needed to forgive him. "What do you want from me?"

"All than I can stand!" Tonks smirked. "Smart arse! Your smart arse! This has nothing to do with Sirius! You haven't disappointed him." She raised his head and in doing so raised his heart. "Look at me and be free. Soon you'll be cured Remus." She held his hand. "Can we talk?" He nodded. Escorting her to his room.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"You're betting your apprenticeship on me?" Remus questioned once Tonks had explained that for her to be apprenticed by Alexander next summer she was to investigate the cure for werewolves.

"But, I don't have to cure you. I just have to make progress. He informed me that Severus began years ago and Alexander would like me to take off were he left off!" The were both sat upon his bed. Tonks was kneeling in front of the spread out Remus. They had slipped into an old routine without realising.

"Severus? Yea, I know. He told me. Doesn't sound like him though. Working on a cure for my kind?"

"I was thinking the same! Remus, do you think he can be trusted?" Tonks hands fidgeted. Trying to resist the temptation to place them on his chest.

"What makes you say that?" Remus sat up and looked at Tonks. He knew what she was thinking. "Lighting striking twice?" She nodded. If he could turn once. What's to say he wouldn't again.

"It was just... I thought it might have been Peter who had enchanted the ceiling. But, he couldn't have done it alone. Perhaps Severus helped him?!" Tonks suggested.

"Tonks. Why would he make the effort to get you bitten, to cure you?" Remus reasoned with her, knowing himself that it was entirely possible.

"But could Peter do it alone?" Tonks sat back beside Remus. "I know it's him Remus!"

"Me too." Remus placed a hand around Tonks. "So when do I start to be your lad rat?"

"You'll do it?"

"For you! I'd do anything!"

"Anything?" Tonks giggled.

"What you after?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Dress up in one of my new robes and go down stairs and read "I'd like to be a teabag" to everybody!" Tonks was hit by a flying pillow.


	12. The chapter that didn't Rhyme

"I'm being to hate travelling by train. All I seem to do lately is sleep and travel on the bloody Hogwarts Express." Tonks stared out the window ignoring the open book that lay on her lap. "Do you guys mind me sitting with you. It must be pretty uncool to be seen with a teacher." Tonks turned to Harry, Ron and Hermione as the Train made its was out of the station.

"Now. If you were Snape or McGonagall I'd agree with you." Ron piped up, unlacing his fingers from Hermione's. "But you're Tonks the Cool. Hey, you are the female version of Lockhart. You'll have the lads drooling into their text books and actually wanting to learn stuff." Ron smirked

"I resent that Ron!" Tonks laughed. "I know what I'm doing! I wouldn't steal people memories because I'm not a complete imbecile." Ron nodded in agreement as Hermione flustered and made to argue when Draco appeared in the doorway.

"That has yet to be proved Nymph!" Draco mimicked his father's drawl.

"Respect Malfoy." A voice appeared in the corridor. "It's Professor Tonks to you!" It was Snape who appeared to save the day. "Now, either do your rounds, or return to your carriage." He watched them leave before he turned to Tonks who had stood beside the open carriage door. "If you do not want any more abuse I suggest you adjourn to the teachers carriage and refrain from fraternising with the students."

"Respect. Professor Snape!" Tonks returned delicately. "Do not talk down and belittle me in front of said students!" As she slide the door on the blushing Severus she spoke again, "Id follow your own advice, Sev!" She winked. Ron and Hermion stood as Tonks sat.

"We- er- need to do rounds!" Hermione flustered and ushered Ron quickly out of the carriage leaving Tonks and Hermione alone.

"Two guesses what they're doing?!" Tonks laughed as she replaced the book on her lap. Harry did not find it funny. "Sorry Harry, I didn't realise you liked Hermione like that!"

"NO! I don't! She's like my sister... It's just.... I feel a little lonely." Harry blushed. "At least before, I could have spoken to Sirius."

"Hey. You have me! And Ginny, I'm sure Ginny still fancies you." Tonks assured him as the door slide open once again two people Tonks vaguely remember clambered in.

"What's Malfoy so happy about?" Neville spoke first, sitting opposite Tonks nursing a plant. She didn't recognise it. She was never good with plants.

"His father got off!" Harry slumped back on his seat.

"What on?" said the other occupant, a girl, Luna Lovegood.

"A technicality." Tonks fumed along with Harry.

"So we did all that for nothing!" Neville shouted. "You never got the prophesy. And those death eaters got off, the only one that got what was coming to him was that vile Sirius Black." Tonks made to argue, but Luna got in their first;

"I've told you before Neville; Sirius was innocent, he was the lead singer of a band." Luna propped up her magazine. Tonks felt suffocated. She made her excuse and left.

After everything. He was still a Black!

He fought against everything his mother believed in. But in the end, his reputation would make her proud.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"This year I would like to welcome an old student into the faculty." Dumbldore's voice echoed around the hall at the beginning of term notices. "She was a bright student, with an amazingly warm and friendly personality with an impeccable attitude to the rules." He paused for a quick wink at Tonks who sat to his left beside Minerva. "I have been informed that a few students, who may know her from outside Hogwarts have shown her a lack of respect and I would like to remind you all that you should treat all teachers how you would like to be treated-"

"If we applied that theory to Malfoy he'd have been deafened by insults before being killing by rampaging punches." Muttered Harry to Ron.

"-On that note I would like a warm welcome for Professor Ny-" Tonks coughed loudly to drown out her own name. "-Sorry. Professor Tonks." She stood and waved meekly. "Let the feast begin."

"Minerva. Who told Albus about Malfoy?" She questioned as she reached for a slice of meat pie.

"Severus of course. Minerva blinked. "He said you were quite wound up by what he had said."

"He did bugger all to me. And Severus bloody knows it!" Tonks shouted stabbing her fork inside the pie. Her eyes going to Severus, who was deep in conversation with Albus.

"He was worried about you dear." Minerva patted her on the shoulder and returned to her dinner.

"Yea. Right" Tonks muttered. A beard brushed her bare shoulder as Hagrid took his seat at the head table.

"'lright Tonks!" Hagrid smiled.

"Hagrid! Hello. It's been a long time." She smiled broadly at the man she had turned to with all her worries. The only person to ever know that Remus was the one for her and that he spent many a weekend on Hogwarts grounds.

"Too long missy." He plopped a whole meat pie on his plate. "You gonna come an' see me? Tell me everythin' 'bout your job."

"It won't take long." Tonks muttered bitterly.

"'nd why's that?" Hargid reached over for the bread almost toppling the table. Tonks stopped him and handed him it.

"Because I'm clumsy remember. Whenever I'm on a case I "Mess things up" My last assignment was to try and find the real people in Gilderoy Lockhart's books. The ministry want their memories fixed. How he got away with it in the first place was beyond me,"

"So you won't be using his books to teach your classes then?" Hagrid asked as he shovelled the last piece of pie into his mouth.

"Well, no. As facts they are brilliant examples. But it's the principle of it, a man is getting the credit for another persons work-"

"So you've read them?" Hagrid watched her fluster.

"-Research only." She answered flatly. Heat rising to her cheeks.

"Did you have a poster on your wall?" He questioned her, knowing her all too well. She cringed.

"My my, what would Remus say; being replace by that man-"

"No one said anything about him being replaced." Tonks answered automatically. That was what Hagrid was getting at. Remus. "You cunning-"

"So what's happening with you two?" Hagrid questioned as everyone was nearing the end of their meals.

"I- I don't know. I missed him. But, I offered him a chance for us to be together. I was willing to make that sacrifice. He wouldn't accept. He wouldn't let me stay a werewolf."

"And I can see why Tonks. That is a big sacrifice." He assured her.

"You know me Hagrid. It would have been a worthwhile sacrifice... Am just as damned because I've been bitten. The stigmas still there even though I've been cured." A thought came to her. "Hagrid. I'm trying to find a cure to Remus. It's pointless isn't it. He'll still be a werewolf. It won't change the way people look at him will it?"


	13. Orb

__

Orb

Once again a little short. Sorry

Tonks stepped into her tower chambers and removed herself from her public face. Her hair grew into brown curls. Her shoulders drooped and her smile turned upside down.

Silver light invaded her small stony room that had no covers for the milky mist to collect. Stripping from her outer robes Tonks drew the opaque curtains that shielded her from nothing.

The fire had been started by a house elf earlier in the evening to warm the room; but Tonks was cold from the inside out.

Incomplete.

That was the word she had searched for since the sun was chased away by the curtain of stars. Longing filled her veins and fear told her not to think about the desire she feared.

Instead she went in search of her trunk to distract herself with unpacking. However, no piece of mind was to be found there; the elves had taken the liberty of placing all her robes; old and new, neatly on hangers inside her hidden wardrobe.

"I could get used to this." Tonks managed to say out loud.

"You like your mess. The end of the week, you'll be giving those elves clothes." Remus would reply delicately.

But he couldn't

She opened the curtains and lent on the window sill, staring out into the grounds and to the sky above.

There in the clouds hung the sinister orb. The innocent moon blamed for such creations as lunatics, who's madness was believed to be based around the passing of the moon. Tonks remembered a story about a princess who was turned into a swan. The only time she was free was the time of the full moon. The only way to break the spell, as with all fairytales, was her true loves kiss. He finally came when the moon hung complete in the midnight sky. He broke the spell and they lived happily ever after.

Tonks sighed. She had always seen herself as that princess. Remus her prince. One problem; nights of a full moon where no good for him.

Her body began to warm quickly the longer she remained transfixed on the moon. Her skin was reddening, her eyes widening. The moon was calling to her. She would have to give in.

A sharp rasp at the door replaced the ice over her heart. She hesitated. What if she was not strong and turned while the person was in the room. What if it was a student? Harry?

A second, more impatient knock hammered at the door. She could leave it no longer. Tonks gasped the door and swung it open forcefully. Loosing her grip and balance in the process.

"Mr Snape." She addressed him coldly hoping he didn't notice her in a tangle on the floor. Who would have known such a heavy looking door would be so light? He walked in and right passed her. Standing astride of the open window. _He left me on the floor? Any other man would have picked me up. Remus would have scooped me! LIKE A GENTLEMAN. _Tonks mentally screamed. "Please do come in." Tonks pulled herself up gracefully and dusted herself off, leaving the door open hoping that Severus would see that she was in no mood for visitors.

"I do not need an invitation Miss Tonks;" He pronounced each word delicately with a cool precession. "I am not a vampire despite many rumours." Was that his attempt at dry humour?

"What is it? You here to offer me yet more teaching advice? I do recall Dumbledore offering me the position as Defence teacher, not you. So if I ne-" Her insult faded as he revealed his reason for the visit; the bottle that saved her life.

"You must take one petal, every full moon for a year." He placed the bottle in her trembling hand and closed her fingers over the bottle. He then steadied her hand with his own.

"I'm sorry." She replied honestly as she recoiled from him. Once again she had misjudged him.

"I am used to it." He shrugged, revealing a side Tonks had never seen, before stiffening once again, "Along with thoughtless and automatic apologise." He moved to the window, turning away from Tonks. "I recall you using those words often without any comprehension of there true meaning. Do you understand there meaning child? You use them so flippantly"

"Well I mean it when I say I am truly sorry I aloud you into my chambers... Or even opened the door for that matter." Did She really mean that? She was seconds away from turning. She stood her ground as he invaded her personal space.

The moon seemed to have escaped behind a cloud, plunging them into the red light of the dying fire.

"Yet again you use it so unwisely." He grabbed and raised the hand that held the bottle. "If you don't take that tonight- You'll once again be cursed. Tonks; your ability to morph has given you a weakness. You will always be highly sensitive to the moon. I kn-" He was entering lecture mode, and Tonks felt a headache creep over her skull. _Any chance to belittle me_.

"It's Miss Tonks to you-"

"I thought it didn't matter as long as I didn't call you," He paused for affect. A dread flushed over Tonks' body, memories threatening to surface. "Nymphadora!" His lips twisted into a smiled that etched deep and cold into Tonks' heart.

"_OUT_"

"Now, what kind of hospitality is -?!" Tonks removed her wand and directed it at Severus. "- Pulling a wand on a fellow teacher, nice move- Tonks!" He swept out of the room, leaving a chill in Tonks bones.

She really should have been nicer to him. She cringed as she replaced the catch on the oak door. She would need his notes in order to make the potion for Remus. She would probably use the base of what Severus had used to cure her.

Remus?

How was he taking the transformation tonight? Bill and Charlie were watching over him in the basement of Grimmauld Place. Fred and George had offered to help but Molly had argued that they were too young. Perhaps she was too.

Darkness still filled her room, reminding her how alone and cold she was. She missed the moons glow. Just as much as she missed Remus, Tonks thought as she removed the stopper from the bottle and place a petal on her tongue and headed to the window.

The moon had been out all this time! No cloud was near the moon, nor had ever been in the last ten minutes since her room was robbed of all its light. But there upon the sill, in a delicate vase was on single moon flower absorbing the milky glow of the moon.


	14. One Little Student

Seated in Albus's office on the morning of her return Tonks twiddled her thumbs over her velvet pink and purple robes, bathed in morning sunlight. It was a new record for Tonks to be there waiting for Albus. As a student she had managed the week before she was hauled into see the headmaster. It had always been by the sulky potions master.

Now feeling utterly week and helpless, hindered by the fact that she had a sleepless night worrying about Remus. She had always worried, but since she had come close enough to being a werewolf than she could bare, she worried even more. She'd never fully transformed, but she had felt the pain. Pain that only the thought of Remus could dull.

The room hadn't changed; Tonks mused as she peeled herself from the leather chair and approached the golden pedestal that held Fawkes; the Phoenix who sat there staring at her.

"Its been too long." She placed a tender hand on the top of his head and ran her fingers down through his plumage. He snapped. He had bitten her. "What is with everyone, am I tasty or something?" She questioned the tearing phoenix. The pearl drop fell onto Tonks hand rushing through her veins, revitalising every inch.

"Thank you." Tonks uttered simply as the door swung open and Dumbledore arrived, followed by Severus. "Here we go!" Tonks muttered to the bird retaking her seat in the office.

"I have heard Severus' account. Now if you would kin-" Dumbldore began. She was still a student in their eyes. Tonks would have to put a stop to this right now if she was ever to get a permanent position at Hogwarts.

"Firstly you must decide what, if not who, I am. Am I a student, in which case I know my place and punishment and so I will keep my lips firmly shut." She saw the twinkle in Albus' eye. "Or am I not the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?! In which case, you will show me the same courtesy and offer me a singular audience." She glanced and the sour Severus. He feared the day she would do this. Stand up to him in the company of Albus.

"Very well my child. Severus would you kindly go to your lessons." Albus sat down and watched Severus scowl and leave. "Thank Merlin." He poured his morning cup of tea. "I didn't think I would see you so soon."

Tonks laughed and agreed.

"Do me a favour Tonks. Stop winding him up; I have to listen to him moan." Dumbledore rolled his eyes in the manner new to Tonks. "First I have Minerva in one ear, complaining about her Swedish love slave-"

"-Please!" Tonks giggled. "Spare me."

"-Then in my other I have Severus, complaining none stop about _you_-"

"I wondered why my ears were burning."

"-And that's only since we started yesterday. He went from fearing for your safety to loathing you entirely. In the matter of an hour."

"Fearing for my safety?!" Tonks sat up from her slouch. Why would snivelling Snape care about her welfare? When did he start caring. Period?

"Yes Tonks. He remembered it was a full moon and that he'd been doing some research into the condi-"

"No offence Albus. But hear me out. He barged into my room without an invitation. He was sarky, contemptuous and downright Snapeish! All I did was pull my wand on him because he'd over stepped the mark. And he comes running to you. Personally I think it's pathetic and does not warrent loathing. Little ticked off yes, loathing no way. I'm too likable."

"Tonks my dear. He's very sore about all of this. You got the job he wants most of all, and he watched you grow up. Please, just be a little bit more considerate of him." Tonks valued Dumbledore's honesty. He had always been straight with her as a student. Perhaps he had decided he had been too honest and rectify that with Harry, the one who needed the truth. Perhaps it was just fair to say that they were both different people and Dumbledore had to treat them as such. "Specially when you need his old documents."

"Shit." Her hand went directly to her mouth. Too late, the word had spilled out of her mouth and filled the room. Dumbledore simply laughed. "Sorry. I'm going to have a hard time getting them from him now aren't I?" Dumbledore nodded. "He shouldn't wind me up either." Tonks pouted.

"Opposites attract." Dumbledore muttered.

"Excuse me? Moi, and Sneivelus? I beg you to take that back, I'll have nightmares." Has Severus really been moaning? Or has he said something else? Did, did- Did he want her, did Severus Snape fancy Tonks? "Besides." She realised she'd left too much silence pass them by. "I still cling to the hope that one day Remus will prove himself worthy." She stopped breathing. Did she really just say that Remus must prove himself? "Did I just say what I think I said?"

"Yes." He seemed as shocked as she was. "That was Sirius speaking and not you." Dumbledore seemed angry. "I've had enough Tonks. Stop aiming for Sirius' approval, his personality doesn't suit you. Stop this war with Severus, it's not your place to continue what Sirius started." He rose from his chair. "And never speak ill of the most noble wizard I know Tonks. Just because your cousin deemed him unworthy, does not mean he is. Tonks, if you believe he is the one it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks."

-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Dumbledore's words had shaken Tonks up badly. Now she had to go deal with sixth year Gryfindor and Slytherin's. Joy of Joys. Stiffening into her teacher pose Tonks stormed into the classroom.

Her heart sank.

Only the Gryfindors remained. All the Slytherins had left ten minutes after they arrived, saying that if a teacher was ten minutes late or more, the lesson was void and they could leave.

"Didn't want to teach 'em anyway." Tonks pointed out as she sat on her desk and crossed her legs. Perhaps it wasn't wise to have said that. She was suposed to be setting an example. Oh well, too later now. Tonks thought looking to her audience of six; Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville and two boys who would later introduce themselves as Seamus and Dean. Seamus was from Ireland, an accent Tonks could listen to all day, once she managed to get him to talk. Dean was from London, couldn't get him to shut up as he was from her neck of the woods.

"Hello." She winked at Harry, Ron and Hermione. "So. What do you want to learn this year?" Tonks asked leaning backwards over her desk to retrieve a roll of parchment and a quill. "What have you not covered that you are most interested in?" Hermione raise her hand. Tonks nodded.

"Metamorphose." Hermione smiled. She was giving Tonks the chance to show off. Wonderful girl. Tonks proceeded to explain what she was and the benefits, what job it would lead to. Which came to the Ministry and Aurors. Which was great because Albus had informed her that sixth and seventh years were to concentrate of work based training. Perhaps she would spend a whole term on it.

"I think we will leave the Ministry for another lesson as we've gone over time." She cringed. "What have you got now?"

"Potions." They all answered in unison. _Shit! Great! Fuck!_

"I'll come with you and explain." _Not that it's going to do any good._


	15. You're Not Going to Help Me

__

You're not going to help me

Sorry if this story sucks at the moment, just trying to get it back on course. Bare with me.

"Potter. Nice that you and your groupies would finally grace us with your presence." Severus hissed from his desk as they all ambled through the door followed closely by Tonks. He had been staring at the door in complete silence. He would not have started the lesson until they all arrived.

The Slytherins all sniggered.

The potions classroom had not changed one bit. Still as dark, still as cold. Her desk had originally been the back right desk, next to her best friend Jade. She'd lasted three weeks in that seat before Professor Snape moved her to the front to stop her from talking and "misbehaving". If it did anything, it made her worse. That was until he placed her in the middle of the Slytherins.

"Actually it was my fault." Tonks ushered them all into their seats and made her way confidently to the front. Severus didn't seem to hear her. She hated the way he did that; pretended she wasn't there. It meant he wasn't going to accept her "excuse" because he wanted to blame Harry. What was his problem with Harry? Severus made his way to Harry's desk.

"Taking advantage of a teacher on their first day Potter-" Severus was about to verbally attack him within an inch of Harry's life. Tonks stepped swiftly in-between the desk and Severus. Blocking his view of Harry.

"Didn't you hear me. My class went over." Tonks glared at Severus. His cold eyes ate into her own. Torturing her to give in and blink. She would not loose.

"Well perhaps if you behaved professionally, you wouldn't be late for your first class. Not starting on the right foot are we Tonks. Called into the Headmaster's office, late for your first class, loosing the respect of the Slytherin students" _Yea, like I had that in the first place_. Tonks thought but didn't dare say it out loud "And disrupting a fellow teachers lesson severely. Not to mention the fact that you should have your own class right now." Severus drew himself to his full height. Towering slightly above Tonks. "Did I miss anything out?" It didn't frighten her. She wasn't frightened of a werewolf, she would not fear an over grown bat.

"Well perhaps if you didn't act like an _old woman _and go running to Albus about every little thing that I do that peeves you, I wouldn't be called into his office. Once again." Tonks had forgotten they were in the presence of students. He'd said all that to either embarrasses her, or goad her. Either way, he won.

"So is this why you came down here. To try and embarrass me in front of my students?!" Severus mocked. Embarrass him. That would be a first. He knew what she had come down for. She felt deflated. He always had to win.

"Well- Erm. I came down to tell you why the Gryfindors were late. And...." She continued to speak, but no one could understand her.

"Speak up Tonks." Severus sounded bored. He just spoke to her in the manner of a student. The Slytherins began laughing once again. Tonks could feel Harry rise behind her. She shook her hand behind her back. He had to sit down, Harry was not getting into trouble for her.

"I wondered if you had the documentation of your experiments on-" Tonks felt her face heat up. One thing her morphing ability could not hide.

"Out of the question. No!" He raised his voice.

"Won't you help me?"

"If that is the task that has been set by Professor Kant. You must start from scratch. Now will you please leave, my lesson has been postponed enough."

"Old Hag!" Tonks roared storming out of the classroom, knowing she would be entertaining Albus this evening.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Hermione rushed from potions without saying goodbye to Harry or Ron. She ran through the corridors to the Defence classroom. She had to speak to Tonks. She had an idea that could help her. Hermione was guessing that Tonks was after the potion ingrediants for the potion Professor Snape had given Tonks. The thing was. She knew it. The one thing she'd done wrong on her own was about to pay off.

Stepping into the classroom, she found that Tonks was keeping the class back to make up for being late. Hermione stepped into the shadows to observe Tonks teaching second year Ravenclaw and Slytherin.

"- So can anyone name a creature of the wizarding world that we mentioned today that can be controlled?" Tonks voice was smooth and pleasant. The entire class seemed engrossed, including Slytherins. "Come on guys. We've just been through this. I'll let you all go if you name three. Break time is ticking away." A few timid hands rose. "Tic-toc. Tic-toc!" The rest raised their hands. "Amber." Tonks pointed to the Slytherin girl nearest Hermione at the back.

"Owls." The girl stammered.

"Good. Ten points" Tonks scanned the crowds. "Erm....Jerry is it?" The blonde Griffindor who Hermione remembered from last year when she told him off for jinxing a frog.

"House elves?" Hermione fumed. Poor house elves.

"Excellent. Ten points. Another five if you can tell me how to free them?"

"Erm... Give them clothes?" Jerry said without confidence. Tonks nodded. She mentally told herself that the boy would need more work to build his confidence before she moved him onto practical spells.

"Right, last one...." She looked down the row of Slytherin. "Roman!"

"Werewolves." The last boy said confidently. Tonks eyes widened. All she could hear was the drumming of her own heart.

"You are mistaken Roman. Werewolves are not in control themselves, how can wizard?" She wondered for a fleeting second about whether a werewolf could be controlled. What that would mean to Remus. She dismissed it. If only she could dismiss the boy so easily.

"But my father-" He went to explain when Hermione decided to interrupt. She could feel Tonks unease and embarrassment.

"Professor Tonks. Can I have a word please?" Tonks was thankful to see her friend in the doorway.

"Class dismissed. Don't forget your homework." Tonks shouted over the din of the leaving class. "It's due in on Friday so if you don't do it, I'll have you in detention on Saturday until it's done." Tonks watched them all leave. "Yes Hermione?" Tonks collected the books from the desks.

"I want to help you. I can help you." Hermione smiled. "I had a detention last year with Professor Snape-"

"-Ding bat!" Tonks slammed the heavy textbooks down on her desk.

"Tonks, I really don't think it's professional to talk about a teacher that way, well not in front of a student at least." Hermione had no feeling for Snape, she would probably call him the same in Tonks position. However, to let her slip into the bad habit would harm Tonks' career, and to Hermione Tonks would make a great teacher.

"Your right Hermione. What were you saying?" Tonks lead Hermione up the stone staircase to her office. "You had a detention...?"

"Oh yes." Hermione had become mesmerised by Tonks office that was emblazoned with posters of her favourite bands and movies. "When I was on detention, Professor Snape made me clean out his cupboard. I found a list of ingredients for a potion. The that one Professor Snape has given you to cure you. I copied it down in my not book before he got back. Is that what you were after, do you want it?"

"Hermione. You are amazing. Yes! I do." Tonks pulled her into a hug. "I was going to cast a spell on the bottle to reveal its ingredients, but that will be so much better." Tonks let go and jumped down into her winged back chair her arms stretched over her head. Suddenly her mundane brown hair shortened and turned a bright pink. "Is there something else Hermione?" Hermione at this time had shifted on her feet and looked away as if Tonks were getting dressed. _'Spose_ _she thinks it's a personal thing changing my hair._ Tonks thought. Then she realised it was something more. The reason why she had noted the potion in the first place.

"Can I help?" Hermione had never really been able to do a complex potion legally before. Yes, she had made the Pollyjuice, but no one knew about it to praise her. _That, and it would be nice to spend some more time with Tonks. _Hermione thought while watching Tonks make up her mind. She screwed up her nose as if she was about to transform once again. Then suddenly;

"Yea, sure." Tonks didn't care about the apprenticeship anymore. All she cared about was curing Remus and giving him some sort of life. "We'll start tonight. Meet me here at 8 o'clock."


	16. Dinner and Detention

**__**

Dinner and Detentions

Albus was trapped.

Between Minerva and Severus, they were going to bore him to death. At times like these he wished he could just go and eat with the students. He loved them both, but they were just annoying him right now. They made him feel old. Were was Tonks when he needed her? Tonks never asked him for advice, she never moaned constantly. She just saw him as a friend. He could then make an excuse and go talk to her and find out about her day.

Not that he needed to ask. He was Dumbledore after all. After the mornings bumpy the rest of the day went without a hitch. Even the Slytherins, apart from the select few, liked her teaching style and personality. She was a competent teacher, and was a natural with the frightened first years.

In years to come she would be perfect for Minerva's successor as head of Griffindor. Tonks' confidence as a teacher was showing through in every aspect of her life; she seemed happier than she had for a while and she had stumbled or broken anything today. Touch wood she wouldn't.

If only this war between her and Severus would end. He had heard about what had happen this morning no fewer than four times by Severus, hoping Tonks would be punished. Albus had no doubt in his mind that if this incident didn't involve Harry, nothing would have to be said. Now Severus wanted blood.

Albus was so deep in his thoughts, that he hadn't noticed that Minevra had been replaced with Tonks. It had happened so quietly that Albus thought for a fleeting moment that Tonks had arrived in disguise as Minerva just to make fun of him. If that was true, Tonks had been inflicted to the "love slave" predicament. No, she's just arrived. Albus reasoned just as Tonks spoke.

"Knut for 'em?" Tonks adapted her muggle father's favourite saying to fit the wizarding world, bringing Albus out of his trance.

"Sorry Tonks. I enter a world of my own to save my sanity." Albus had made sure only Tonks could hear that, as Severus was still to his right. "Any plans for this evening?"

"Well I have a detention- It's so funny saying that and not being on the receiving end- Anyway, I have a detention at six o'clock. Miss Granger is assisting me with a potion at eight-"

"Why don't you ask Severus to help you-" Albus suggested pointedly loud.

"Because I've said no!" Severus explained from his book. He became aware that Albus wasn't listening twenty minutes ago and busied himself with a book. Now jealous that Tonks could keep his concentration and even carry on a conversation. Had he not known Albus longer? What could that girl say to amuse Albus, the greatest mind. _She wasn't exactly bright. Were as I'm almost as bright, if not brighter than Albus. I'd be stimulating_! "She called me an old Hag. I've told you this Albus."

"-And I do believe Remus is coming at ten-" Tonks continued as if they had not been interrupted.

"So soon after a full moon." Severus once again joined the conversation.

"He always used to come so soon it never h-" He had baited her into revealing her past to Albus and telling him about her secret rendezvous with Remus. Severus smiled and returned to his book.

"Tonks. I always knew." Albus smiled. Severus soured. Somehow, Tonks always knew that he knew. Tonks just laughed and began pilling her plate with food.

=--=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Detention went smoothly. It was only Neil League, a little second year who had thought it was funny to strap one of the new Weasley range fireworks to a badger and set it off in her corridor. Under any other circumstances, Tonks would have been impressed. However, the animal could have been badly hurt and she was now a teacher; she had to set an example.

He had insisted it was a dare, and Tonks had insisted that she would have to give him a detention. Tonight. She had forgotten about Hermione and Remus for a moment when she informed the boy of the detention. It was going to be more of a punishment for her than him.

Tonks couldn't think what she could make him do for two hours of detention. All she did was make him do all his homework that he'd been given that day, while she marked all her work from today. Some of it was dire, basic things that had been discussed in class were missing.

"Professor Tonks?" Neil disturbed her concentration.

"In silence Mr League." Tonks wanted to complete all this marking before Hermione came.

"It's just I need some help with this homework." He tried once again.

"Well come back to it." Tonks was getting annoyed. What was it he wanted her to help with. Divination. No way!

"It's my last one Professor. It's potio-" Tonks forgot all about her marking.

"What is it?" Tonks sat beside him and helped him. He would get full marks. The best thing was, she'd taught him. He now understood everything to do with a shrinking potion. Something which Severus had taken three weeks to get into her head as a child. He did complicate the most simple things.

Neil enjoyed his detention so much he asked if he could come again net week. At first Tonks said no, but when he threatened to do something in order to get a detention, she relented. Why let the boy get into trouble again, just to get help with his potions homework. An added bonus would be that when Severus found out, he would go mental.

-=-=-=-==-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Hermione arrived on time at Tonks' classroom, but she would have to get ready to meet Remus, So Tonks left a note on her door. She was trying on her second outfit when Hermione knocked.

"I've got till ten." They said in unison.

"I've got to go on rounds with Ron." Hermione blushed as she dropped her bag on the chair. Tonks just smiled. "You know don't you?!" Tonks nodded. "So what are you up to?"

"Meeting Remus." Tonks said without blushing. She sat on the bed and offered for Hermione to do the same. The moment she sat down, Hermione pulled out a list of ingredients.

"Give it to me. What do we need. Will it be expensive?" Tonks pulled a cushion into her chest. Knowing Severus, this potion will contain the most expensive and hard to get ingredients in the world.

"Monflowers. Dried and crushed." Hermione read out. Tonks leaped off the bed and fetched the flower from the window sill. She sat back down and showed Hermione. "You'll need loads though Tonks. If this potion won't work on Remus, we'll need to experient. May take up to six batches to work." Hermione explained. "Where did you get that one?"

"Erm- Severus." This time it was Tonks' turn to blush when Hermione noticed her tracing the petals over her lips. She didn't like the thought of him being nice to her. It was if he had an ulterior motive.

"Anyway…." Hermione didn't want Tonks feeling embarrassed. Hermione had no one to talk to about her relationship with Ron. She couldn't talk to her only other two friends; Harry and Ginny. Harry was hers and Ron's best friend and had said at the start that he would not be able to take sides. Ginny was in the same position, she was Ron's sister but Hermione's best girl friend. How could she choose?

But here was Tonks, a cool twenty-something witch. Perfect agony aunt.

"Honey from a dragon-bee, we can get that from potion supplies in Hogsmeade. Quicksilver, horn of a wider beast, that might be expensive…. And errrrr…." Hermione suddenly fell silent, realising this was the potion that Tonks was taking.

"What is it Herm?" Tonks questioned, she stopped tracing the flower over her lips again.

"It really is a clique." Hermione muttered. She was procrastinating. Tonks yanked the parchment from Hermione and scrolled down through the ingredients. There, at the bottom, in neat writing was what Hermione was dreading to tell Hermione.

"Blood of a virgin?!" Tonks wondered who's blood was in the one she now owned.

"We have a problem about that. I- I- I'm not a virgin." Hermione blushed a deep crimson. "I slept with Ron over the summer."

"It's ok Herm." Tonks assured her.

"I 'spose we could asked Ginny. I know she's-" Hermione raised her voice.

"It's ok, we don't need Ginny." Tonks explained. Hermione looked bewildered. "I am!"

"You're- You're a virgin? But you- you and Remus?" Hermione stuttered.

"We never got that far. He was too worried about taking advantage with the age gap. Plus he didn't know if he would infect me." Tonks explained. "We came close…. And you don't want to hear about me and-"

"Tonks, I don't mind… Honestly!"

So for the next hour Tonks and Hermione shared stories about their love lives. Hermione decided that Tonks and Remus where made for each other and that Tonks should forget everthing Sirius had said while Tonks wondered what Hermione saw in Ron. He had no idea what Hermione wanted. All Ron seem to know was he did love Hermione and that if he didn't tell her now, he would loose her forever. Perhaps Tonks would have a word with Ron. Tell him Hermione wanted romance, not her friend who was still too scared to kiss her properly. The first and last time they had slept together had been such a dissaster that they never tried it again.

Unfortunatly, Tonks could not pass comment on that. Although, she did know Remus needed no incouragement to kiss her the way she wanted. Deep and passionate. She could easily loose herself in him. She could easily loose control.

"Tonks. It's almost ten." Hermione looked at her watch. "We're going to have to go…" She picked up her bag and headed to the door. "And don't do anything to jeopardise this potion!" Hermione winked and slipped out of sight.


	17. Remus with Horns

__

Once again, pretty much just a filler chapter rather than a revelation chapter. Hope it doesn't suck too much.

****

Remus with Horns

Harry was sitting in one of the chairs beside the fire in the Griffindor common room when the most bizarre thing happened. Someone knocked at the portrait entrance. It was a little after half past ten, so any self respecting Griffindor who knew what lay ahead in the first week was playing around in their bedrooms. Or in the case of the Hermione-wanna-be's they were doing next weeks homework so they could concentrate on knitting jumpers to free House Elves. Thank Merlin their weren't too many of them!

Harry raised himself wearily from the chair. Ron and Hermione were out on "patrol" and besides, they both knew the password anyway. He crossed the common room and opened the portrait.

"Tonks?" Harry opened the portrait fully. "You ok?" He watched the petite and recently transformed blonde clamber through the hole. She was wearing satin pyjamas. How they suited her.

"The marauders map?!" She said through hurried gasps of breath. "Can I have it?" Harry didn't say anything. "It's really important. Remus might be in trouble."

"How do you-" Harry began to ask. How did Tonks know about the map? Perhaps Remus had once told her about it. Harry's inner voice argued.

"-I just do Harry. Please." Tonks raised her voice. He instantly left her alone in the warm room. remus was to meet her at ten outside the one-eyed witch like they used to. Remus was never late. In fact he had impeccable timing; never early, never late. Just dead on time, whereas she was always late. She half imagined herself late for her own wedding, but stopped the moment she realised that she was picturing Remus as her husband.

Now here, a day after the full moon, he was late. Anything could of happened. Worse case scenario, he'd collapsed inside the tunnel. Is that worse? At least she could get to him then. Protect him. Why on earth did she feel compelled to protect him? Because of the wizarding worlds prejudices for werewolves, half-bloods and other half lings. Because she was now in that grouping. Once it got out that she was bitten, she would be outcast so fast she would not have time to explain that she was cured.

Moments later, Harry appeared in the room. Had it really only been moments. Tonks thoughts spilling out in her mind made it seem like forever.

"He's in the room of requirements." Harry informed her. "Pacing." For some reason he did not want to hand the map over to Tonks. She was not going to be the third teacher to take it away from him. He liked her too much. If she asked to keep it, he would say yes. So to keep it out of her hands would stop her from asking. Or at least he hoped.

"What? We said we'd meet outside the one-eye- Oh never mind. Thanks Harry" Tonks rushed out the portrait as quickly as she had arrived, leaving Harry alone once again.

Harry wondered if he should have asked Tonks if something was going on between her and Remus. Then he remembered it was not his place to interfere. What they did was there business. As long as Tonks was happy, he supposed it was ok. And he couldn't see how Remus could hurt her.

Harry knew Remus better than he knew Tonks or even Sirius. He had spent a whole year in Remus' company in his third year, and never once saw a violent or moody side to him. He was a perfect gentleman. One Harry aspired to be.

Harry suddenly realised he was tired and empty he felt. He needed his bed. He hoped Tonks was having a good time and wasn't being too hard on Remus. He hoped that Hermione was teaching Ron wisely. Lessons of how to treat women that Ron could bestow upon Harry. He hoped someone. Some girl, he corrected himself, was thinking about him. Finally, he hoped and wished with all his heart that Sirius was with James and Lily, happy and at rest. Even though, somewhere, deep down, he knew that it wasn't true.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Remus, dressed in his favourite tweed robes, wondered where Tonks was. The moment he appeared outside the one-eyed witch Severus sulked round the corner as if he had somewhere better to be to inform him that Tonks was finishing something off in her classroom and he was to wait in the room of Requirements where she would join him shortly. Then Severus had stalked off. That was forty minutes ago.

His bouquet of flowers were wilting in the heat of the roaring fire. He placed the roses on the table as he bent down to adjust the heat. Behind him he heard the door open and a female wolf whistle which informed him that Tonks had arrived. He loved that whistle/. He loved her

"Your late!" Remus purposefully remained bent, pretending to adjust the fire further. He wasn't too bothered that she was late. He'd gotten used to it over the years.

"You've been working out." She felt no shame in checking his bum out. She pulled him out from the fire. "I'm not late. I've been waiting outside the one-eyed witch for the last half an hour. Did we agree to meet here? I must have completely forgotten that -" Remus' hand came up and traced her lips.

"No, we didn't agree." His hand cupped her cheek while his soft thumb continued to run along her bottom lip. "You told Severus to send me here. You had a long day?!" Remus dipped his head as Tonks moved away.

"Bastard!" Tonks kicked the wooden chair that appeared from nowhere. That was one thing Tonks loved about the room of requirement. It provided everything you needed. Even a chair to destroy.

"What have I done?" Remus was upset by Tonks' irate behaviour. She's only been in his company a momen. What could he have done to upset her so soon.

"Not you Rem. Severus!" Tonks slumped down on the white rug. She proceeded to tell him everything that happened between her and Severus over the last few days, from the incident with Draco on the train to the dinner-time banter with Albus caught in the middle. "How did he know where we meet though?" During her recount of the last few days, Remus had sat beside her, pulling on her hair, stroking her shoulders. It bothered Tonks. She wasn't aware they were "together" again. And this was considered "together" behaviour.

"Hmmmm, don't know." Remus smiled weakly. "Want me to have a word with him. It just seems like he's trying to wind you up. You shouldn't let him get to you."

"I can't help it- Will you desist." Tonks snapped. "What are we doing here? What is this? Are we friends or not?" Tonks wanted nothing more than Remus to be her boyfriend. But was this just a side-effect to the fading full-moon. He smiled sweetly. Not wanting to say anything. He rose silently and reached over to the table to grab the flowers. Lowered himself again and placed the flowers on Tonks lap.

"I had a lot to think about over the last few days Dora…." He blushed slightly. "And I couldn't think about any of it, because you never left my mind. Tonks, you've infected me." If he could he blushed even further. "You've, never, ever left my thoughts. I wish I had never let you go." Tonks pinned him to the floor and devoured Remus' lips. Eyes closed, inhaling his scent. Blood pounding in her eardrums, she actually went deaf. So much so she didn't hear Remus shout for her to stop.

"Tonks!" He pushed her away softly.

She opened her eyes to find horror etched across Remus' face. His lips swollen and tears welling up in his eyes. Her tongue traced her lip. What else had been on her lips that could have that effect?

"moonflower!" Tonks muttered. "Remus. I'm so sorry. I was playing with a moonflower before. I forgot that you would be sensitive to it." She stood and made to leave. He wasn't going to give up so easily. He wasn't going to turn and run this time. "Damn." She stopped at the door, her head rested upon her arm. "It's as if someone's trying to tell us something."

Remus decided he could take the pain.

She was worth it.

He spun her around and pinned her to the door and kissed her deeply and forcefully on the lips. The pain began to dull and tingled his now swollen lips. Her hands remained on his chest the whole time. While his own tangled in her hair, traced down her face and onto her chest. The feeling of satin between his exploring fingers aroused every part of him.

It was her time to say no.

"We can't Remus." She pulled away breathless, every inch of her body tingling. He brought her back to the matter at hand. The reason why they were her. "I'm an ingredient to the potion." She smiled vindictively. Leading him back to the rug. "blood of a virgin!" Tonks announced proudly.

Remus pouted. An expression new to his face. "Well, won't you being bitten affect that clause?" He was ready. After all these years of Tonks pushing and him relenting the tide had finally changed. How he wished it hadn't.

"Aren't we eager?!" Tonks kissed his nose. Her lips then hovered about his nose and she spoke; "I'm not giving in my dear Remus. I begged you too long without you giving in. I'm just as strong as you."

"A challenge!" Remus smiled. He would not break her. This cure meant so much to her that he would not dare. But she did not need to know that.

"The potion will be ready next month." Tonks decided her best bet was to pretend she didn't hear what Remus had just said. "When you are free. We can go further than PG-13!" Tonks giggled as she slid in beneath Remus' solid frame, all the more determined to get the potion right first time. It was a novelty being strong and resisting Remus, but she didn't know how long she could last.


	18. Pray For Mercy

**__**

Pray for mercy

Again, a little short. But you know It's a natural break in the proceedings and would have been stupid if I had continued. So many bunnies, so little time. I'm starting to wonder if I should leave some of my ideas for another story… I just hope this thing doesn't have too many plot holes. Reward to all that can find them.

Remus stirred some time in the morning near dawn, not wanting the night to be over. He could feel the sun rising, blood-shot light streamed through the stained glass window taking away the moon.

His moon.

Tonks.

There she lay beside him in the room of requirements. Curled, naked, in a ball beneath his strong arms. Both encased in a cocoon of fur. Her eyes fluttering beneath their lids. She was too young, too beautiful. Too free spirited to be his.

They had lay like this once too often. Taking it to the line, risking temptation overload. Yet he had never taken her on a date.

He raised himself on his arm to brush away a stray strand from her face and kiss her softly on the lips. She didn't wake up, but she shifted from spooning him to facing him.

He would take her on a date. Soon. He would buy her a Victorian dress of the deepest purple and buy himself a matching suit. He would take her to Aarhus like she had asked. He would bend down on one knee and ask her to be Mrs Lupin.

They would redecorate Grimmauld Place, it was legally hers now anyway, and they would have a family; two girls and a boy. They would live happily ever after.

Would.

He hated that word. It meant that it was all the stuff he wanted to do. But couldn't. He hadn't the money to buy her the most expensive dress. He didn't even have the money to dress himself let alone his lady. He couldn't afford a trip to Aarhus and he certainly couldn't afford a wedding. Of course, knowing Tonks she would say that she wouldn't want a flash wedding. But deep in her heart she wanted the fairytale.

Where in a fairytale did it say that the Werewolf got the princess? The Hunchback of Notre Dame befriended Esmerellda but he did not get his deepest hearts desire. Why should R J Lupin be so lucky?

And finally the symbolic representation of Mrs Blacks portrait. It could not be removed and until it was, he would not be welcome. How could they bring children into the world of such prejudices? They would have as cursed a life as he has.

"How could it be cursed when I have you?!" Remus whispered, his finger tracing down from her forehead to her lips. "I love you Nymphadora Tonks." Her eyes snapped open as if she had been awake since he had kissed her moments before.

"And I hate you Remus Lupin. Jesus, what a way to wake me up." She smiled dragging the coverings with her to keep her modesty as she rose to a sitting position. "I told you never to call me that."

"Morning Dora." He corrected as she sat astride him. He liked the feel of her flesh against his. She bent down and brushed his lips with hers. He had missed that so much. His hands grabbed her bare hips beneath the fur blanket, stroking the hip bone that protruded each side with his thumbs.

Her hands maintained that the blanket remained firmly clasped over her breasts.

"So bashful this morning?!" Remus teased, watching her transform her hair to a mass of dark bouncy hair. He loved the way she blushed as he made that comment. She made to unclench the blanket and stopped. "What is it?"

"It's morning. Everything seems different in the harsh light of day." Tonks blushed further. "You'll remember my cousins words."

"They don't matter anymore Dora." He switched with her so he pinned her delicately to the floor, removing her of her shroud. Showing her in all her glory. He loved her body, he thought as his hand traced down from her face, down he neck and to her breasts. Young. Too young. Maybe she was right. He was remembering Sirius' words. She noticed his eyebrows knit together. "Perhaps it's because I'm a creature of the night." Remus hadn't realised he'd said it out loud until he saw the look of horror on Tonks' face.

She removed herself hastily from beneath him. Replacing her underwear before she spoke. All the time she looked about him. Never in the eye. As if she were to look she would fail in the sacifice she was about to make.

"That how you see yourself? A creature? A thing!" Tonks replaced her trousers placing both feet through the one leg. "I can cope with you thinking you are too old for me." He second attempt resulted in the trousers being back-to-front.

"I didn't mean to say it out loud." Remus tried to explain as she helped herself out of the trousers once again.

"So you would just have secret doubts about our relationship!" Once again both feet fell inside the one trouser leg. While trying to get out she tumbled onto the floor with a thud. Remus thought for a moment she would burst out crying there and then. Fool, he knew her better. Instead she laughed. "We'd never work would we?" Tonks smiled broadly.

Remus heart sunk. Just like before. It was another, tearing each others buttons off and making mad passionate love, moment. Perhaps, Remus thought, that they were all puppets created for someone's amusement. Perhaps they were characters within a book, destined to overcome obstacles to finally get together.

She had noticed the pause.

"No, We'll never work." He answered, the second time he'd ever lied to her about his love for her. She finished dressing in silence. "Won't you stay for breakfast?" He asked as she made to say goodbye.

"I can't, I've got to go eat in the hall. Something about setting an example." She kissed him on the forehead. "See you next month Remus." She crossed the room and closed the door with a snap. The moment she left Remus flung a pillow at the door.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Tonks dried her eyes before entering the Great Hall after returning to her room to change. She had lied twice to Remus. She didn't believe that they wouldn't work. She believed that they were perfect together. And there was no rule about her eating in the hall. In fact Severus almost never joined the faculty there except when it was mandatory.

Tonks looked up to the head table to see that once again Severus was there beside Albus. Tonks groaned and began her trek to the table, trying not to catch any Griffindor eyes on her way. Tonks was in no mood to talk to either Hermione or Harry. If she were to tell Harry that once again hers and Remus' relationship hit a whomping, he would be cursing Remus till both were blue in the face.

Tonks had spent very little time with Harry since Sirius had died. She thought as she took a seat near to Albus, the opposite side to Severus. However, deep down she knew Harry was trying to replace Sirius to care about her welfare. This sort of action would cause a rift between himself and Remus. One that Tonks did not want to be the cause of.

"How are you my dear?" Albus questioned after five minutes of stoney silence.

"Fine!" Tonks mumbled coldly. She'd just told Remus there was no hope for them.

"I do believe she did not go to bed last night Albus. She was not in her room. My my, what an example to set to the students." Severus would have died there and then if looks could kill.

"And how would you know if I was out of bed, unless you were out of bed yourself. What do you want t be; the pot or the kettle? Because they are both black."

"You two really are acting like children. Perhaps I should lock you two in a room to work out your differences." Albus sighed.

"I would fear that he would rape me Albus; old habits die hard wouldn't you say Severus?" Tonks poured some milk into her porridge. "I mean, you've already stabbed me in the back… What else is left for a death eater to do?"

"Tonks!" Albus growled in a warning tone. "Remember this is the man who saved your life."

"And is now trying to ruin it!" Tonks spat. The very instant it came from her lips she blamed Severus for her outburst with Remus earlier. She raised herself from her seat. "I know you spoke to Remus last nigh. Why, I don't know, nor do I care. But mark this Severus Snape; I will have revenge." She stormed out without another word.

Pray for mercy. For all who were taught by either Professor Tonks or Snape that day!

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Sorry there haven't been any responses down here for a while but I'm glad you are all enjoying this fic, and if you want a response to your review please say so in your review.

Thank you

CC


	19. November

November

_Just finished this, haven't beta'd it so I hope it doesn't suck_.

Tonks got back at Severus the best way she knew how; without him knowing she was getting her revenge.

Mid November, Tonks had raised Neil League's potions ability from dismal to professional. He now came to his weekly "detention" knowing that Snape would ask why he was trying so hard to impress him and that it would annoy him to think that Mr League was doing it alone.

Truth was, he wasn't trying hard. Neil did not have to try hard when Tonks taught him. There was no fear and so he understood everything first time. He was even further ahead in his classes with Tonks than with Snape.

Tonks loved to hear about the look on Severus' face while marking Mr Leauge's work. He could not find fault with the work. It was perfect. One time in October had informed Mr League that if he was cheating, he was to come clean or pay the price.

That was the day Remus had come back to Hogwarts and he was to test the first batch of "liberty" potion. She had not heard from him since. In fact, it had been a particularly frosty meeting all around. He came like a gentleman, although it appeared he would rather be somewhere else. However she did hear from Bill Weasley who informed her that the potion, although made him more docile, did not work and Remus transformed as usual.

Now she was sitting with Mr League in her classroom, helping him with his herbology homework. It wasn't really her strong point, but it was still an improvement on the work Madame Sprout would be expecting. She was helping him until seven, when she would meet up with Hermione to complete the final stage of the second batch.

Remus would then arrive at nine, like a gentleman. Take his potion like promised and leave Tonks all alone. She hated being alone. She thought about Sirius when she was alone. Where he was and who with. Was he safe?

Alone, she ended up crying. Hating Remus for leaving her, hating Sirius for protecting her too much.

"It's seven Professor!" Neil reminded her. Bringing her back to reality; Hermione would be waiting outside her room. She helped him pack up his things and planned to walk him to his common room.

Tonks whispered an incantation to remove all lights from her room. Turned to find Severus Snape leaning on the wall opposite. Boring down on herself and Neil.

"I will see you tomorrow Mr League." Tonks ushered him away before Severus could punish him. When he was out of earshot, Tonks sarcastically held up her hands. "You caught me." She moved in the opposite direction that Neil League had just run in. Severus maintained a pace directly in step with hers.

"He will be expelled." Severus added coolly. Tonks stopped dead in her tracks. "He has been cheating."

"He's been learning." Tonks argued. "Where does it say that a student can not receive extra lessons if they require them? Let's just call this remedial potions." Tonks continued to her room.

"If the boy was in need of remedial potions; I would give them to him. The boy is hopeless; it would be a waste of my time." Severus spat.

"Then please explain his improvement over the last two months. I just explained things clearly and he did the rest. I assure you Severus, I was not helping him to cheat."

"Why have you just been teaching him? Why not hold an after school class?" Severus began to dig as they reached the tower stairs that lead to her room. Tonks wanted to end this conversation as soon as possible. Somewhere deep down was telling her that he could not see Hermione standing outside her room.

"What are you implying Severus?" Tonks stopped by a window in the tower staircase. A crescent moon was out tonight. He simply stared at her.

"You are a woman, he is an impressionable young boy-" Severus began walking ahead of her.

"Now wait a minute Severus. Do not tar me with the same brush as your self." Tonks grabbed his arm. "Jade told me about your advances towards her at the Christmas Ball final year."

"That, that was a misunderstanding." Severus stuttered.

"Who the fuck did you think was? Oh wait, did you think it was a mirror? Goodnight Severus!" Tonks stormed up to the top of the stairs. He still followed. "Listen Severus. FUCK OFF!"

"I have to tell Albus, I'm just warning you." Severus persisted. "Unless you stop teaching him."

"And I'm warning you. You make anything of this, I let everyone know you were the reason Jade killed herself." She watched Severus take in this information. "A year after she left school. She couldn't take the nightmares anymore."

Curious as to what was causing the commotion, Hermione came down the last few steps.

"Everything ok Professor?" Hermione asked, eyes firmly on Tonks.

"What's this?" Severus jabbed a hand in Hermione's direction. "It's one thing having lessons in your classroom. But it's another to have them in your personal quarters."

"Hermione may be a student, but she is my good friend first. Albus knows of this arrangement. She is helping me with the potion to cure Remus." Tonks hated that she had to explain herself to him.

"You can not have help Tonks!" Severus roared. "To be worthy of a placement with Kant, you must complete the task alone!"

"This isn't about the task anymore, I don't care! Besides, he hasn't been in touch like he promised. He mustn't have been truly interested." Tonks explained. "Now, have you finished?" Tonks snapped, wondering if this night could get any worse.

"Goodnight, Miss Tonks. Miss Granger, make sure you are in bed by curfew." Severus left without another word. Tonks lead Hermione into her room in silence.

"What was that all about Tonks?" Hermione questioned, sitting down in a squashy chair beside the open window. "Tonks?"

"Oh nothing, Just good old Snape being himself. Now, I'm not sure how this last potion affected Remus-"

"Badly." Hermione answered without thinking. Remus had been seen in Hogsmeade the last weekend trip. Harry had sat with him for the entire time, while Hermione and Ron left them to go shopping. Hermione noted the shock on Tonks' face. "Didn't he tell you?"

"We aren't really talking." Tonks answered honestly. "We had a stupid fight. I told him we'd never work. He agreed at the time, but he's been distant since." Tonks suppressed a sniffle. "How bad is he?"

"He was wheezy, disorientated. He slurred his words, as if he'd had a stroke." Hermione described.

"Were did you find him-"

"-The pub!" Remus had entered the room. He wasn't displaying any of the symptoms, but he still looked awful. "And I wasn't drunk before you ask."

"The thought didn't even cross my mind." Tonks informed him coldly, hoping Hermione would not try and excuse herself. "How are you feeling?" She noticed that once again he had stopped shaving, nor had he cut his hair in a while; his floppy fringe falling about his eyes.

"Ok." He nodded, his hands stuffed into his pockets.

"Tell her the truth Professor." Hermione interjected. "He hasn't slept since he turned."

"Hermione," Remus warned.

"How was your turn?" Tonks asked as she led him to a seat.

"Fine, I kept my mind this time… Just losing it now though." He smiled weakly. "I really need to sleep."

"Hermione, you can go now." Tonks smiled as she retrieved a few things from the bathroom. She then led Hermione to the door to speak to her without Remus hearing. "I think we are going to have to do more research on this. Maybe even started from scratch?"

"Research, my forte!" Hermione almost squealed with delight. "Goodnight Tonks."

She then returned to Remus, his eyes were dull. Lifeless. She sighed and transfigured her books into a pair of scissors and an old fashioned shaving blade.

"I could just do it with a spell." Remus informed her.

"It wouldn't feel as good though. Sit back and relax, I'll do this and then you can have a bath while I run down to Poppy and get some sleeping potion." She proceeded to cut his greying hair. It felt dry and lifeless. She remembered how soft it used to feel. Drawing all his hair back to recheck the length he let out a soft moan.

"Where did you learn to do this?" He asked.

"I used to cut my dad's hair. He didn't like going to the barbers. My father didn't like his kind, so to speak. He didn't like the mentality of some muggles towards wizards. Mainly his own parents, who disowned him when he married my mother."

"Why did I not know this?" Remus asked.

"Because I never liked talking about my family; Sirius was family. I didn't want us to bring him up. Somehow I knew he'd be the end of us. And he was." Tonks had finished with his head. With a flick of her wand she had cleaned the floor of the discarded hair. Tonks then filled a bowl with water and lathered up his face with a block of shaving cream and a brush.

"Please stay still; I haven't done this in a while. I don't want to slit your throat." She revealed the shaving blade.

Remus watched how much care and attention she paid in shaving off his beard. Her nose screwed up, trying to keep his moustache. Within five minutes she was done.

"Now for the test-" She kissed him on the cheek. Lingering longer than was necessary. "Smooth as a baby gnome's backside." Tonks informed his pulling herself up from the floor and grabbing her cloak from the bed. She knew there would be a chill in the air tonight.

"And how would you know what a baby gnome's buttock feels like?" Tonks turned to see a revitalised Remus sitting in the seat. All he need now was a hot bath and a good night's sleep.

"Wouldn't you like to know? I'll be back soon." She blew him an automatic kiss and left the room.

"Bloody faulty boiler." Remus laughed as he made his way to the bathroom for a good long soak.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Tonks was gone almost an hour and Remus was getting worried. She was only going to get some potion from the hospital wing. Perhaps Poppy had kept her talking; they did have a lot to catch up on.

Remus had taken the liberty of transforming a pair of Tonks Pyjamas to fit him, and was considering going looking for her when he heard the door slam.

"I'm so sorry. I couldn't find her, so I was looking for it myself. I tripped and broke a load of bottles, cut my arm and scared Mrs Norris. Then Poppy insisted that she fix my arm." Tonks seemed flustered and tired. Guilt flooded through Remus, she shouldn't have to look after him.

She ushered him to the bed and pulled the stopper from the potion.

"You know I'm getting sic of taking potions!" Remus smiled sleepily as it started to take affect.

"I know, but it'll all be over soon." Tonks reassured him as his eyes fluttered closed and she pulled the duvet up to his chin. "Sweet dreams Rem!"

She made her way to the arm chair. She didn't even have chance to wonder whether she would get to sleep before her eyelids closed and her waking mind shutdown, leaving her to explore the land of dreams……..

She was inside her house, brushing her teeth. Sirius was next door in his own room that Andromeda had furnished for him. Sirius was more like a brother than a cousin.

"Come entertain me!" She heard him yell. "Entertain me!" He repeated until Tonks relented and moved to his bedroom doorway.

"And what would you like me to do?" She licked the minty paste from her bottom lip. "Why don't you take me out?" The eight year old Tonks jumped onto his bed. "Take me to see Mr Lupin! You haven't seen him at all this summer. You've seen James."

"He doesn't like to be disturbed." Sirius explained as he picked himself up from his chair and pulled Tonks into a hug. "Why don't we stay here and play chess."

"What does he look like Sirius?" Tonks asked.

"Tonks. Give it a rest." Sirius seemed bored. "Go set up the board."

"Why won't you let me meet him cousin. He's been marking my work for a year now. I want to meet him."

"Because children annoy him, and I've told you before when he's annoyed-" Sirius' hand clamped firmly on her shoulder as he growled. "he turns into his cursed form. He'd eat you alive Tonks. He doesn't need a moon to turn!"

"That does not frighten me Sirius." Tonks stiffened.

"It should Tonks; a werewolf who does not need the moon to turn is a very frightening thing."

Tonks replayed this dream until dawn. Her mind was emphasising on the fact that a werewolf who did not need the moon to turn was a very frightening thing.

A very frightening thing indeed.


	20. Mauled: An i dont like this chapter

Sat in the muggle bar she had once drank in with a friend, Tonks wondered why her dreams had led her here. Over at bar was the sexy waiter that did not appeal to Tonk's eye. Even now, all she could think about was Remus.

Remus was sexy, despite the tweed exterior. His drabness made him approachable and homely. The man she wanted.

But that was not why she was here. There was a purpose. Perhaps she was reliving her day as a fallen angel. However during the subsequent minutes it was revealed that she was not the angel of this dream.

"Jade!" Tonks stood as the short haired, wiry figured girl of eighteen plopped into the both. Tonks sat down. "Jade." She repeated.

"Hello Dora." She nodded simply. "Nice to see you've got a great memory." Jade's hand brushed along the table gently.

"I'm so mad at you. You let him win!" Tonks proclaimed, finding her voice at last. "You-"

"-Lets not talk about that now. I send word from Sirius. He says to do whatever makes you happy."

Now Tonks knew it was only a dream. No Sirius would say that; dead or alive. Tonks therefore exhaled loudly.

"You don't believe me?" Jade questioned. "You are in grave danger Dora. Harry is in grave danger." Jade pointed to the window. Thunder was repeatedly frightened away by lightening. Jade then proceeded to grab Tonks hand sharply. "He is coming to get you."

Just as she uttered her words of warning, an animal's claw ripped through her body as if she was a doll…….

Tonks awoke feeling as if she hadn't slept at all. Deprived. Drained. Her head ached and there where knots in every single one of her muscles. Opening her eyes midway through cat-like stretch, she had to suppress a yelp.

Why was she on the floor?

Tonks gathered herself up from the sun bleached floor and fixed her disarrayed hair with one wiggle of her nose. Today she would put it up in a fan. Nothing was too complex for Tonks.

Once dressed into her school robes she decided it was time to wake Remus up. Sitting on the edge of the bed she decided she didn't really want to; he looked so peaceful and deep in sleep. But up he must get, Tonks thought as she tickled him gently.

"Padfoot, pack it in. It's Saturday, can't you leave Severus alone for one day!" He mumbled sleepily, pulling the sheets far over his head.

"Remus, it's me!" Tonks decided not to tickle him again. He shot up almost immediately. "You ok?"

"Sirius, he was telling me I had to get back at Severus! I had to get up and get revenge. We were in our first year!" He shook off the last of his sleep. "Funny what we dream about." Your telling me?! Tonks mentally muttered.

"You coming down for breakfast?" Tonks hastily changed the subject not looking Remus in the eye. She didn't want yet another conversation ending about her cousin. He nodded and got up to follow her. "I'd get changed if I were you Remus. Pink really isn't your colour." Tonks giggled as she left the room.

Remus had a quick wash and dressed in to his shabby robes. He took one look round Tonks room to check for anything out of the ordinary. He had a, what did Tonk call it? A niggle, foreboding about leaving the warm and safe room of Tonks. Something wasn't right.

Stepping into the Great Hall he expected the loud bustle to die down, for students he knew to greet him warmly. Ask him if he was returning as Defence Against the Dark Arts, because a double act of him and Tonks would be perfect.

Except there was no bustle; the hall was empty. There wasn't even a teacher in sight. Remus checked his watch to find it was only a little after eight. After a quick once round the adjoined corridors Remus made his was to the second floor were he would find the staff room.

Sure enough, he heard the raised voice of Severus Snape and the defensive squeal of Minerva.

"-You said she was cured Severus!" They must be talking about Tonks. What has she done? Had she collapsed again?

"I thought she was, but apparently not." Severus could be heard roaring back at the Transfigurations teacher. "I have apparently made it worse. It could have something to with her morphing ability." Remus' heart sank. They were fighting about Tonks, behind her back. Or so he thought as he entered the room to find her cowered in a corner, sobbing.

"Will you please stop talking as if I'm not here!" Tonks wept inaudibly. Only Remus, who apparently was the only one aware of her presence, heard. He made his way through the crowd of teachers to sit beside Tonks. He held her hand and cleared his throat loudly. They all looked to him.

Where was Albus?

"Can someone tell me what's going on?" Remus questioned. Severus began to explain, but before he drew breath Remus interrupted. "Minerva, perhaps you can explain," It was hard to imagine that she had once taught him.

"A boy from Hufflepuff was found mauled last night in one of the third floor corridors. We don't know what did this to him-"

"Correction Minerva, who, and she did it, she attacked him." Severus hissed, his arms folded over his chest

"I didn't. I swear." Tonks raised herself. Severus simply pushed her back down.

"Poor Tonks!" Severus mocked. "Who else could it be?" He pouted at her. "You're the only-"

"It wasn't her! She never left my sight last night." Remus never quite made anyone's eyes when he made the bold statement.

"Perhaps you were both out together. Some sort of mating-" Severus never got to finish his sentence before Tonks' fist landed square on his jaw; knocking the shocked man backwards. Remus swiftly moved to hold Tonks back.

"I'll have you for that Nymphadora. I'm going to tell Albus the moment he arrives from the ministry."

"Believe me Severus, that's nothing compared to what I want to do to you. I could get your balls on the block so fast; you'll be begging that you never hit puberty." Tonks stormed out, followed closely by Minerva. There in the doorway stood Albus, his face like thunder.

"Please explain?" He ordered wearily.

"I was explaining that the potion I have given Tonks could be defective, and that's the reason why she turned last night." Severus explained coolly.

"There isn't only one suspect in this Severus." Remus returned the hard star he was getting from Severus.

"Yes, you are also a suspect-"

"I meant you Sevrerus, and you know it. If the potion is defective, as you so eloquently put it, you could also have gone on the rampage last night. Although, there was no moon last night."

"You of all people should agree that you do not need a moon to turn. Bu more importantly, where did you get the ridiculous idea that I was cursed?" Severus' mouth twitched into a crooked smile.

"You told me you deliberately got yourself bitten to test your potion." Remus explained to the audience.

"And why would I do such a thing like that. My mind is too great to be damaged by such a curse." Severus explained. Seeing Albus was not impressed, he stalked over. "I merely used an elaborated anecdote to calm Mr Lupin at the time."

Remus knew he was lying. Severus was telling the truth when he had told him that he had been bitten, or so Remus thought. It was true that he didn't believe Tonks was capable of this. However she had been gone a long time when going to get the sleeping potion.

"Dishonesty is not a quality I admire Severus. However, there is the much more pressing matter of Miss Tonks. What happened last night?"

"She attacked Mr Neil League, a second year Hufflepuff, when he came to me about her pressurising behaviour. She had been forcing him into detention without reason. Although, the level headed Tonks would not have committed such a vicious attack, the werewolf in her-"

"I told you she never left my sight. Someone was with her all night Severus!" Remus snapped.

"Even when she went to get you some sleeping potion?" Severus questioned. Albus stood watching both men. Swiftly and most suddenly it happened. Remus pinned Severus to the nearby wall.

"And how the fuck would you know Severus?!" Remus growled into Severus' face. There was something revealing in those victorous eyes of Severus'.

"I can smell it on your breath." Severus recovered. Albus peeled Remus away. "Aren't we a little temperamental this morning?" Severus proceeded to wipe away any trace of Remus. "All I am doing is providing a motive and her opportunity. Sorry if it hurts to hear that she's still a wolf!"

"There was no full moon Severus." Albus interjected softly. "There is still the possibility that it was something else."

"She is a special case though Albus. Her morphing abilities mean that she could transform at any time if she is provoked." Severus replied with a fixed warning stare. "She is a danger to us all."

Remus decided then and there, that Severus Snape ex-death eater was behind it. That if she was the one who mauled Neil League, which he very much doubted, Severus was somehow involved. Perhaps the potion wasn't a cure but a means of control. Perhaps the green-eyed monster in Severus was jealous of the improvement Tonks had made with Neil. Of course, Severus wasn't about to hold his hands up and say "Yes, it was me. I hated the boy and I wanted a way to get back at Tonks. This was the best way!"

Remus wondered for a moment whether Tonks knew that it was the boy she was so proud of lying in the hospital wing fighting for his life. She would never be able to speak to that boy again. Remus knew that guilt would rip apart the friendship Tonks had built up.

The curse of being an outcast!


	21. Perfect Reaction

Tonks ventured into the hospital wing at dinner that day. Classes resumed second lesson, Tonks favourite rumour was by a third year Ravenclaw who told everyone who would listen that it was Voldermort who had came into the school and sang Neil League into an unending sleep. Of course Professor Snape knew the cure and Neil would be back to normal within the week.

The truth was much more frightening.

It could have been her, Tonks, who had mauled the boy who had become her favourite student.

There he was, surrounded by what looked like half of Honeydukes. Cradled in her arms was a book of potions. It was for the end of the year, but she decided that seeing as she would be there for much longer, now was as good a time as any.

They had decided together that he would pursue a career in potions to prove Severus wrong.

Severus.

Why is he always the foremost of my mind?

Tonks placed the book among the sweets. He looked too peaceful to disturb. She thought the moment before he sprang to life screaming.

"hush." Tonks eased him down. She offered him a drink of water which he took gladly. "How are you?"

"Ok!" He answered bravely. "They're blaming you, it wasn't you though. Because it was a big cat Professor. And you're not a big cat!" Neil thought for a moment. "Well, I suppose you could transform into one, but you wouldn't, would you? Try and hurt me I mean."

"Not intentionally Neil no. But there are some things people can't control. Werewolves for instance." If he had learnt about them, he would identify what he saw last night as one. If that's what it was. Tonks prayed with all her heart that he wouldn't.

"Yes, it looked like a werewolf. But, Professor, there wasn't a full moon out last night, and werewolves need the moon to transform." Neil answered eagerly. "I'll be ok next week, so we won't miss another lesson."

"About that Neil-" before she could explain, the bane of her existence cut her off.

"Miss Tonks might not be teaching here for very much longer Mr League; if you require any extra lessons I suggest you go to the appropriate teacher." Severus hissed delicately.

"A word in your ear Severus!" Tonks ordered bitterly. "I'll see you soon Neil." She led Severus out of the Hospital wing. "Are you trying to ruin my life? On who's authority do you inform a student of my status as a teacher?!"

"No one but my own!" He replied, sniffing her hair.

"What have I done to you?" Tonks asked pushing him away. "Have I wronged you in another life, Severus!"

"What did I do to you to deserve your attitude from the moment you laid eyes on me Miss Tonks?"

"You condemned my cousin-"

"I neither confirmed or denied, the truth is I didn't know!" Severus pinned her to the wall.

"Bullshit! You're right though, you shouldn't have known. You shouldn't have turned in the first place. You sneer at Remus for what he is. A monster? You're just like him. You're a monster too… Only, he does what he does out of an instinct he can't control. You had a choice; you chose him. Then you came crawling back on your belly, once again you had a choice; you could have told Albus the truth. That you didn't know, but it was extremely unlikely."

"It's in the past Tonks; leave it buried." He made to walk away, but sh stopped him.

"Sirius isn't buried remember. Because you couldn't stand up to your responsibilities!"

"What responsibility did I have to your cousin?"

"The truth!" It was Tonks' turn to walk away.

"Watcher Harry," Tonks mumbled wearily when he stepped into her classroom door after dinner. She had decided to stay away from the Great Hall, mark all the homeworks and set about creating a stimulant coursework title for her Seventh year students.

"Erm-" Truth was, he'd been ordered to come and see her by Proessor McGonnagall. "I was wondering if you could give me some after school lessons about the ministry and what I need to do to be a-"

"Either you haven't been listening for the last two months, in which case you don't deserve my extra time, or you've been ordered to come and see me and check to see if I'm ok." Tonks looked up from her marking. "Who sent you?"

"McGonnagall, followed closely by Hermione. She would have come herself but she had to speak to Flitwick." Harry eased himself along the nearest aisle towards Tonks.

"So; do I look as if I'm about to break? Go out on a werewolf rampage?" Tonks questioned sarcastically, her robes swaying gently as she pulled herself from her chair and joining Harry the other side.

"It's ok to break Tonks. I mean, he was pretty close to you wasn't he? I was only speaking to him that night, must have only been about twenty minutes before he was attacked-" Tonks hushed him.

"What time was this?" Tonks asked.

"About midnight, why?" Harry questioned, his eye widened at the thought of an adventure that didn't centre around himself or Voldermort.

"So you had the map on you?" Harry nodded. "Do you remember seeing me on that map?"

Harry fought hard with his memory, trying to remember where everyone was. Then he remember he still had the map on him, he unravelled the map and refreshed his memory. He pointed to a corridor near her room.

"You were on your way back to your room. Snape was on the next floor down to me!" Harry explained, his eyes watching Tonks.

"Jesus Christ." Tonks fumed. "Snape's telling everyone it was me. He seems to think Albus is going to fire me." Tonks explained turning her into long apple green curls.

"You can't leave!" Harry blurted out to a shell-shocked Tonks. "You're the best teacher we've had." Harry stood opposite her.

"- I'm sure Remus was better th-" She was cut short by Harry's mouth covering her own. Blood curdled in her ears. For one split second she was with Sirius.

A cough brought Harry back to reality. He swung round to find Albus in the doorway, a confused smile on his face.

"Have either of you seen Professor Tonks?" Harry heard Albus ask. Harry faulted in his speech to ask what the old fool was on about when he heard Hermione's voice behind him tell that Tonks was in Hogsmeade and would be back late. With utter confusion, Harry turned round to find Hermione standing there wearing Tonks' robes.

"Jeez Tonks, now it's like I've kissed my sister!" Harry whined as Tonks transformed back, slamming the door closed with a wave of her wand.

"Jesus Fucking Christ Harry. What were you thinking? You could have got me fired!" Tonks could not think about his feelings right now. Nor did she think about the consequences of Hermione being seen kissing Harry.

"I-" Harry stuttered, losing his voice as Tonks towered over him.

"What Harry?! You think, hmmmm Tonks she's mauled a boy , her future as a teacher is on a knife edge; I'll just tip it a little more. You and Snape might as well form a club!"

"No, it's just that I think I-"

"-What Harry? I'm too old for you Harry!" Tonks slammed her hand down on the desk.

"That's a little rich coming from you! What about Lupin?" Harry bolted for the door.

Tonks sighed. Well handled! He's young and confused and you just roar at him. Imagine if Remus had responded like tha-

That train of thought was instantly forgotten as she noticed the marauders map discarded on the floor. Forgotten my Harry in his haste. There in the dungeons Severus Snape was entertaining Peter Petigrew.


	22. Curse for Life

Curse for Life.

Tonks rushed out of her room clutching her wand in one hand, the map in the other. Why would Severus be so stupid? He knew of the Marauders map years ago. He knew Harry had it now. And even if Severus didn't, Peter certainly did. So why bring Peter into the school grounds never mind the castle?

Rushing down staircase after staircase, not caring what noise she was making, Tonks didn't notice that darkness had fallen or that all the students would be in bed.

It wasn't until she reached the main entrance gasping for breath that she realised that she was all alone without a plan going to fight off two grown men famous for their dark arts.

Peter. Well, Peter would be easy. A Squibb could outsmart him. But Severus, deep down Tonks fear Severus with a passion. The fact that he could have raped and tortured other witch and still be welcomed back to the wizarding world with open arms frightened Tonks. At least everyone still had their reservations about Lucius. With reason too, the moment Voldermort was "born again", the head of the Malfoy family fled to his master's side. It was only a matter of time before Severus did the same, if he hadn't done so already.

Perhaps she should go and get Albus. But when she was posing as Hermione she had informed the headmaster that her real alias was in the village. Being home early with Harry's party trick would take a lot of explaining.

Harry! She thought for a moment that she could go get Harry. After all, this involved the man who framed his godfather. Harry was also need of some closer. In more ways that one, a voice inside Tonks head reprimanded her. How could she be so insensitive?! After shouting at him, she would go and ask him for help?

That moment, Remus appeared in the open doorway, smoothing out his dinner jacket, his hand wrapped around a large box and a bunch of red roses. He smiled brightly as he saw Tonks, apparently waiting for him.

His smiled faded when he saw the distress in her eyes.

"What's -" Remus began to say in his normal voice but Tonks hushed him by brushing her fingers lightly across his lips. "-What is it?" He questioned in a whisper.

"Peter's here." Tonks' voice was shaky. She revealed the map which showed Peter and Severus pacing the dungeons. "Severus had turned on us!"

Holding her hand with one of his own. Removing his wand from his muggle attire with the other they both descended into the depths of the castle. The lights shed very little light, but Tonks could see clearly. Dread filled every vein. She was a danger to everyone when she was feeling like this. Battling with her conscience as to whether it was actually her who had harmed Neil the previous night, only one thing came to mind; would she strike again?

Then they came to the door. Her breath caught in her chest and Remus gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go. Opening the door they found Severus was alone.

"What the-" Tonks' eyes shifted from the map to the singleton in the room. Peter was still there. In the room. Tonks began searching every nook and cranny for evidence of the little rat.

"Yes. You may come in Tonks. Invade my privacy!" Severus drawled lazily, bent over the desk inspecting his cauldron. "Now if you don't mind; would you please tell me why you are here." Neither Tonks or Remus relpied. "I'm bored now!" Severus stepped in front of his store cupboard as Tonks went to open it.

"You little snake!" Tonks spat. "Where is he?!" He stared blankly. "If you don't tell me! I'll cut out your lying, cheating forked tongue with my teeth!"

"I know you've been trying to stick your tongue down my throat and get into my underwear for years…" It might have been her imagination but she could swear that she could feel his lips grazing against her cheek. "… but." Severus backed away as Remus took a step closer. "I doubt your boyfriend would like to watch!"

Tonks felt entirely retched. He knew she was on to him. It was time for Remus to take over.

"Is Peter here?" Remus asked coolly. "Tonks has reason to believe he's here!"

"Now why would I tell you?" Severus replied calmly, his eyes still firmly on Tonks.

"Because-"

"-because what Remus?" Severus interrupted before Remus could lay down his insult. "Because I've gone back to my master after all these years of trying to prove to everyone that I'm a good man-" Tonks scoffed. "- Peter is here!"

Tonks blood ran cold. Severus was going to kill them both. Peter was going to jump out of the cupboard behind her and cut her throat.

"-well his finger is." Severus let out a blood-curdling laugh. "Ah, Professor Dumbledore?!" Severus looked past Remus to the doorway. "I was just telling these two," Severus looked down his crooked nose at Tonks. "That I'm performing a location spell for Mr Petigrew." Severus ladled the incriminating finger from the cauldron.

"See Miss Tonks…. I am not harbouring a criminal. Albus went over the area that Neil was found mauled… It appears that it was he-"

"Impossible he didn't-" show up on the marauder's map. Was what Tonks was about to say before she received a warning glare from Remus. "- turn into anything bigger than a rat." She recovered, knowing that whatever was found there was planted. Harry would have said something- No he wouldn't have needed to, he would have done something last night had Peter been in the castle.

"Perhaps he is getting help Miss Tonks," Albus suggested.

"-Or perhaps he is the one controlling you!" Severus spat, drawing himself to his full height.

"Enough Severus!" Albus warned. He took a pause before continuing. "However, Severus maybe right. You may have something to do with this Tonks. Perhaps Severus' potion isn't working as well as we hoped." Albus moved towards Tonks and cupped her cheek. "Dear child. Let Remus look after you tonight."

"Guard me you mean!" Tonks snapped.

"No." Albus answered forcefully. "he did have dinner reservations for you… However it is much too late to make them now. I will go to the kitchens and get something brought up to you."

Tonks felt her face heat up. It was the first time she had noticed how smartly dressed he was. And the box that was now a little bashed that still rested in the niche of his arm.

A dress.

A date.

Damn. She allowed herself to be escorted out by Albus and Remus, feeling utterly ashamed of herself. Secretly she was wondering if dead cells would show up on the map? Perhaps she would ask Remus when they were out of earshot from Albus. He would not have a word said against Severus. It was becoming annoying. Much like the man himself.

Correction. He was disturbing!

The store cupboard door creaked open and a silver hand slid into view. Severus removed the finger from the ladle and bit it idly.

"Carrot!" He mused as Peter dusted himself off. A bag of powder wormwood had toppled off the top shelf when Severus had pinned Tonks to it. He had been fighting the temptation to sneeze ever since.

"That was too close!" Peter made to comb his hair with his replacement hand. He could take off his head with that thing. Problem with working for the Dark Lord; you're always in hiding so you accept anything that's offered. Even if it is a razor sharp hand.

"I wasn't the one who invited you!" Severus' nose curled. The rogue marauder may have earned brownie points with The Dark Lord. But Severus didn't trust him. Then again, Severus didn't trust anyone.

"Only came to see how the first attempt went. Did she behave herself?" The squat little man jumped up onto the work surface and began drinking the potion. "This is one mean soup Sev, you'll have to give me the recipe-" Severus pounced, grasping the rat featured man by the throat.

"She didn't. She was suppose to kill the boy!" Severus angered at his failure. "She's a lot stronger than I thought. I thought her will would have been broken by the death of Sirius. After a while she regained her thoughts and realised what she was doing."

"Tut tut. Master will not be pleased! You know he's always wanted a pet of his own. Cause, his dad would never let him have a puppy of his own to love." Peter pouted within his little play act. "He thinks that's why he's so messed up now. The absence of love an all. Where you loved as a child?" Peter could see that Severus wasn't amused. "Look, you were originally contracted to tame a werewolf for him. The only way for you to get back in the circle is to tame this one! AndI'm sure little Tonks would make a mighty fine pet. My, I'd forgotten how much time had gone by." Peter's nose twitced as he pushed him away. "Don't know why you never tried with Remus! He's such a pathetic broken man that he'd be so easy to control."

"Don't you think I've tried. He had no reason to turn back, you of all people should know that."

"Ah yes… By ruining their love life, Sirius actually saved them!" Peter laughed deeply. "She's the only person he'll attempt it for." Peter could see the cogs turning.

"Wouldn't work now… I fed them both a cock and bull story about the potion only being affective on the newly cursed. Nymphadora is working on an adaptation. But she's looking to cure not control. She won't accept my help now, so I can't bluff. You've ruined all chance of that tonight. She had her doubts about me. But I was still holding onto the fact that I" He quoted the air, "Cured her"

"Ha!" Peter gained a laughing fit that he could not control. "If you had come up with a cure. You'd be a millionaire! People who are cursed would pay their very last knut for the cure!"

"And how would I be a millionaire nit wit? Most werewolves don't even have a knut to buy food. Besides, a curse is a curse for life!" Severus said almost forlorn.

"But Tonks doesn't know that!"

A/N: Okay guys, so what did you think about this chapter? I've re-read the last section two or three times to make sure I'm not confusing the story…. Just in case though I'll just say it again… The potion Tonks has been taking was not a cure, but a means of control.

As for the bit about Harry… Some mixed views about that and I am sorry. It was an idea I had when I first wrote this story because I wanted a sub-plot of Hermione and Ron. Although the plot went a little to the way side the image of Harry and Tonks kissing and her turning into Hermione would not go away. I was going to keep it for another story but up this came and I needed a way to get the map off Harry without her actually asking for it, because as you saw earlier in the story Harry didn't want to give it up.

I would also like to thank you all for being such loyal readers. There probably isn't going to be much more to this! Saying that, I did only plan on this being about 8 chapters long. Lol.


	23. heat

Remus was a patient man, he'd been famous for his patients. But right now he was about to loose them and hit Tonks. His hands itched. Her nose had not moved an inch from the enchanted parchment since they had left the presence of Dumbledore. Now, sat at the table in her room, with a delightful roast dinner in front of them she had missed her mouth three times and was about to cause a fatal injury to herself.

The map instantly flew from beneath Tonks' eyes without her hearing Remus call for it bringing her back to reality. A harsh reality she didn't want to belong in. Her heart broke at her resistance to look up. Then, just as instantly her resistance changed to anger. What was he doing there any way.

"Hey!" She snapped glaring at the forlorn looking man. "Give it back! I know he was here. Look Remus," She was hissing as she reached for the map with her outstretched hand her robes falling into her dinner. "Look, there's no Peter now is there? Look Remus! Please!" There was desperation in her voice as she tried to clean off the gravy stain with her napkin.

"No. And I won't give it back; it's not yours any more." Remus looked sadly at the lost little girl. There was nothing he could do to make it all better. "Give up Tonks, this is going to kill you."

"What have I got to live for?" Tonks whispered harshly wondering what his response would be. Wondering if it was something she wanted or needed to hear.

"Me. Live for me," Remus pulled her up from her seat. He handed her the battered box that he had entered Hogwarts with. "Open it." His heart rose as she reached out for the box with her slender fingers. She hesitated.

"No. I don't want it. We couldn't date before and nothing changed. I'm still me and you're still freezing me out. You're still keeping your distance because you're a wolf. You see yourself as different to me; I offered you the opportunity of us being together. I'm not taking your gifts and I'm not going on a date with you until-" She caught herself before she said it. But he knew what she was going to say. He could see it in her eyes.

"I never thought I'd see it in your eyes Nymphadora." He pulled out a bottle she recognised of his breast pocket. "Stop trying to change me. I am who I am; I'm sorry if that's not good enough for you."

"That's not fair." A tear caught in her throat. "You never even gave me the chance to accept it. I'm just trying to give you a better life-"

"No, you just have nothing better to do Dora." He saw a fire light in her eyes. A passionate anger he had never seen in her before. "You have no life of your own so you're trying to control others. I'm not a puppet."

"You are once a month!" Tonks spat. In a whirlwind of anger that didn't even seem to be his own Remus lashed out and slapped Tonks hard across the face bursting blood vessels deep under the skin. It knocked her out in one quick swoop, crushing Remus to oblivion. The mildest man succumb to the purest anger.

"Remus?" Tonks muttered absently minutes later when she came to. Remus rushed to her side instantly. He had been scared to touch her; the wave of power that had overcome him had frightened him to death. "Did you feel that?" She eased herself up against the stone wall clutching her throbbing head.

"You did too?" Remus hesitated when his instincts told him to comfort her.

"Right before you-" She couldn't bring herself to say it, she closed her eyes in order to pass over the wave of nausea that was coming. "- It was if I could feel your anger," She opened her eyes to been welcomed to double vision. She snapped her eyes shut again. "It was as if we were connected." Her breathing was shallow and her vision was hazy.

"Yes, I felt yours too. I'm so sorry," His hand instantly went to her face but she recoiled at his touch which made her sway and nauseous again.

"It was my fault Remus. I had an urge to hit you, I think I was controlling you and I think it was me who attacked Neil last night. I think Severus made me do it. Can we go to the hospital?"


	24. You can't hurt me any more!

Remus paced the dark and empty kitchen of Grimmauld Place still dressed in the attire he'd left the house in eight hours before, the stove was burning out and he had to hug himself for warmth. He had reluctantly left Tonks, bruised and weak, in the hospital three hours previous.

Now he was worried, the nurse had said that it was a simple test and that she would send her straight back. That he was to wait for her here, warm the place up, and she would be sent right to him. But she hadn't turned up and now the place was cold again. What if something had happened to her? Perhaps he had hit her harder than both of them thought and she was once again in a coma? Or perhaps he'd been sent away because it came across that he was a violent boyfriend?

His head was telling him to get in touch with Albus, tell him what he had done to Tonks. How her face must sting, he thought as he brushed his own. He sat down at the table and poured himself a large shot of fire whiskey.

Then it happened; the front door open and closed. However, whoever it was must have been moving slowly for it was minutes before he heard the kitchen door open and the sound of feet descending to where he was sitting.

"Kant's dead." Tonks informed Remus weakly as she landed on the bottom step. "Severus snapped his neck after I left him months ago. He's burnt all his notes, there's no way of knowing if there is an actual cure." Seeing Tonks awoke his senses, she was dripping wet from the rain which now pounded his eardrums. How had he not heard it before? Then he realised that it was keeping time with the pounding of his heart.

"What was he giving you?" Remus stood up and made his way to the young woman. She was wrapped in a large crimson robe. She looked tired and helpless; anyone would after the night she'd been through. There before him, in all her glory, stood a warrior.

"It was a controlling drug, Mortsang. I'm werewolf Rem. I'm not cured, I never was." Remus looked her in the eyes and saw them alight with a sudden realisation. "You can't hurt me anymore." His hand ran through her drenched short spiky hair. It instantly turned to the colour of autumn and continued to flow from Remus' fingers as they traced down her dripping face, neck and wet velvet covered arms.

"Yes Dora, that's because I already have." He made to move away, "Twice if I recall" She pulled his hand back to her neck; he could feel her heart racing beneath the skin. His doubled its pace at this realisation. Lightening could be felt between the air between them and the hairs on his neck stood on end.

"Endless amounts of times if we're counting Remus. I don't care if you cursed me if it means we're together. You hurt me more when you left me, please." Her hand moved to his cheek. "Don't leave me."

"I..." Remus stammered, the confession was to chill him to the bone. "I can't promise that. I can't protect you; I couldn't protect you from me. I can't be your knight in shinning armour Tonks." She shushed him with her tender fingers.

"Remus, I'm asking to be loved and for you to let me love you in return." Tonks removed the robe to reveal the deep emerald green satin gown which had been hidden in the box that had been brought to Hogwarts. As his hands ruffled the satin between his fingers he realised it seemed like an age since they were in Hogwarts. "You don't know me. I don't want the hero; I want my man in tweed. The man I can talk to. The man who can make me tremble and burn at the same time; I want you." She could feel his racing breath on her collarbone. "I want you now, Remus."

He didn't have a second to think before his unruly lips claimed hers as his own in a furry of heated passion. Wrapping her legs around him, he seated her upon the kitchen table.

One of Tonk's hand remained in his hair while he kissed and licked at her neck, desperate to delve deeper. Both of them knew there and then that it was the point of no return. Tonight they would be one.

Within a second she had raised the skirt above her knees so he fitted perfectly between her legs. Her hands caressed his back with feverous curiosity and found the waistband of his trousers just as his expert hand removed the barrier of silk between her legs, and his thumb found her throbbing orb making her whimper delicately; something that he had come so close to doing many times before. She lay down flat upon the table giving in to Remus.

Without speaking a word, just a look between them both he pressed harder and faster upon her weakening spot. His fingers working there way into a place she had always intended to be his. It somehow felt wrong despite the inviting warmth, like it was sacred ground he was trespassing on. However, how could it be wrong when he loved her and longed for her? She seemed to be grateful of his small amount of experience. She was allowing him free rein over her body. He knew she needed this first release before they went any further, before he could remove her clothes, and more importantly remove his. He wanted to be the strong and empowered one for his Dora's first orgasm; he didn't want the awkwardness of his scares. Yes, she had seen them before, but this time it was different. He could feel her tighten around his fingers, her body arched and her whimpers slowly strengthened into an almighty scream of pure ecstasy which would only tame her for a little while.

"Upstairs?" Remus managed to whisper between breathless kisses as she righted herself to give thanks to man she loved. In all her dreams, it never happened like that. He never took control; she'd never dreamt it could be like that. Shivers tingled down her spine at the thought that there was more to come. Fear washed over her; what if she could not return the favour? What if she was not good? What if in his dreams she was a sex goddess and in reality didn't meet the expectation. Fear over-ran her need for what was right. The gesture would have to be return right then and there while she still had the courage.

"Here. Now; It's your turn…." She whispered seductively while she began removing his belt. He stopped her, her heart stopped for a second. "What's wrong Remus? Please don't doubt this. I need this, I need you." Remus felt her tremble at his touch.

"Not here Dora; I'm not going to simply fuck you-" She made to protest, but he silenced her with his lips. A deep sensual and loving kiss that turned her body to jelly "I want to make love to the woman I love. We may be animals to some people, but we're not going to act like it." He offered his hand. "At least not yet anyway." He added with a voice of seductive velvet leading her up the stairs and to his bedroom.


	25. The perfect nightmare

Minerva McGonagall wandered into the Number Twelve Grimmauld Place under orders. Both Tonks and Remus had been missing all day. Tonks hadn't turned up for any of her classes and it was now seven in the evening. Minerva had important information for them both concerning Neil; the boy who'd been bitten and an incident involving Potter and Weasely.

The house was eerily silent. Perhaps they were not here, she thought as she climbed the wide stairs. Had they not heard her come in? Perhaps they had and where hiding. Perhaps they had finally gotten together? Minerva had lived a life of solitude because she could not be with the man she loved. She would not wish that upon anyone, least not two of her dear friends.

"Remus?" Minerva ventured as she entered his bedroom. Through the crack in the thick velvet curtains Minerva could see that the room had been turned upside down. What on earth had happened here? Certainly not a night of rampant sex as Severus had sourly predicted. How she hated that boy. Yes, to her he was still a boy. He didn't have the balls to be a proper man. He never would while he was still under the thrall of Voldermort.

No, there had been a struggle of some sort. Perhaps thier secret location and secret keeper had been breached, but how? Dumbledore was the secret keeper and he was no weak man. Minerva crossed the room and opened the curtains to let in warm sunlight upon the chilling room. There in the folds of white cotton was blood.

"Nyphadora?" Minerva's heart quickened its pace, she prayed that they were both ok; there was quite a lot of blood. Then she saw it, steam billowing from the bathroom. Where they both in the shower? Should she disturb them? It didn't bother her, however she really didn't want to embarrass them.

What the hell, if they didn't want to be disturbed, they should have gotten in touch. She thought as she opened the door unprepared as to what was to come. There under the boiling hot water was a sobbing Tonks wrapped in a cotton sheet identical to those which where strewn across the bedroom floor.

Tonks was as oblivious to Minerva as she was to the boiling water that looked as if it was scalding her milky white skin. With a wave of her wand, Minerva turned the water from hot to freezing which prompted a scream from Tonks. The sooner Minerva could sooth her burnt skin, the sooner she could find out what had happened.

"Nyphadora?" Minerva questioned softly and she eased the fragile child out of the shower and into the bedroom. Instantly Tonks began screaming, something terrible had happened there. As soon as Minerva could she led the girl to another room.

When placed upon the bed, Tonks resumed her silent and tearless sobbing. It occurred to Minerva that she had been crying for hours and no longer had the strength or energy to cry fully.

Now, to find out what happened? A few drops of pepper-up potion would give her the energy to speak, however as it turned out only the appearance of the bottle was enough as Tonks pushed the bottle away.

"If that's made by that demon I don't want it." Her voice came out broken and unused.

"What's happened?" Minerva sat down beside her.

"It wasn't him. It wasn't him. It wasn't Remus." Tonks rambled.

"That's what I came to tell you, Liam wasn't bitten; it was just a bit of Glamour. Apparently he'd taken a liking to you; heard that you where a werewolf and… I guess he just wanted to be like you." Something about the story didn't ring true to Minerva, but Dumbledore believed it and so that was how it was to be told. The boy couldn't even turn a rat into a goblet let alone perform a simple spell such as glamour.

"It wasn't Remus." Tonks cried, not hearing what Minerva was saying. "It wasn't him. I will have broken his heart because it wasn't him. It wasn't my fault. Professor, believe me it wasn't my fault. I didn't know. I wasn't to know." Tonks chose this point to collapse, stone cold upon the bed.

How was she to find out what had happened now? She rushed to the shelving where she prayed it would be there, and there it was in all its glory in the bottom draw; a pensive. Ordinarily Minerva wouldn't pry into someone else's memories, but time was important here as deep down she feared something serious was wrong with Remus.

Removing all she needed Minerva began searching through Tonks' memories until she was in the dark and peaceful bedroom of R J Lupin……

Popopopopopopopopopopo

Tonks stirred from the best sleep she'd had in years. Last night she lost her virginity, and about time too. She finally got to make love to her one and only love, Remus. It had hurt and he'd been kind, and then it didn't hurt so much and she became a woman. His woman, his one and only woman.

Yes, he'd been with girls and women. Maybe loads, maybe only a few; that was something Tonks really didn't need to know. What she did know is that last night was more than sex, it was a connection and a heighten sense of unity. With this feeling she could rule the world. After her intense climax she fell into a deep sleep cradled in Remus' loving sleep-induced arms.

She rolled over and pulled a cold body towards her. Remus was never this cold, warm blood ran through his veins. His body didn't seem so welcoming this morning. Oh god, oh Merlin; he'd turned from her in the night, regretting what had happened. He never felt what she felt.

She opened her eyes and looked to his bare chest; she would not look at his face contorted into a forced sleep. She would not see that face. Nor, apparently would she see scars. The flesh was smooth and torture free, the body did not belong to Remus.

Then came the drawling, sinister and mocking laughter. Her heart flat lined; perhaps she was still dreaming. Having a nightmare that she would wake up from any moment.

"That look on your face is priceless." The bat drawled as Tonks raised her eyes to look at the man she loathed. Bile threatened to spill from her stomach. She knew right then what he'd done. He'd robed her of her virginity; she'd robed her of something that belonged to Remus.

"No." She breathed, "How could you do this to me?" She screamed hitting him forceful, "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" She hit him as hard as her weakened body would allow, without effect. Then, to her advantage she began scratching him until blood stained the sheets.

"Shut up bitch." He tired of her and slapped her so hard she fell, naked, off the bed; clinging to the cotton sheet to hide her shame. "No need to be modest now Dora."

"Don't call me that you bastard; how-" He cut her off just as she lunged at him.

"Whine, whine whine… Is that all you can do now Dora?" He removed himself from the bed parading his naked form proudly. "You where screaming last night," He bent down and licked her face.

"What you did was wrong." Tonks cowered into the corner of the room.

"What would you like to be; the pot or the kettle?" Tonks looked at him, confused at the question. He laughed. "Well it doesn't really mater because they're both black."

"I deserved this?" Tonks questioned. "I never RAPED anyone."

"Now, that's where you're wrong; I didn't rape you, you consented." He paced the floor between her and the bedroom door. "Well, begged would be the better word." He toyed with her. "Now to the point of the kettles, I'm guessing your problem is that I borrowed-"

"Borrowed is a loose term prick-" Tonks spat.

"Hush. Now where was I- Yes, borrowed his horrible body. However, you my darling Tonks are in just as much trouble as me, for the exact same crime." He paused a moment for the information to sink in. "Potter and Weasley are in the hospital wing."

"Rom saw Harry kiss me, while I was Hermione." It finally dawned on her. How stupid she had been. "How are they?" Snape's mouth contorted into a crooked smile.

"Potter's fine-"

"And Ron?" Tonks questioned.

"Fighting for his life; he may have picked the fight but Potter's a strong boy, he kicked the shit out of him. Hermione's in a state, she doesn't understand what happened."

"That not the same." Tonks reasoned. He came down to her level.

"Does this look like a face that gives a fuck Tonks!"

"Where's Remus?"

"That's not your concern. Let's just say that after seeing your body grind against mine I'm sure he doesn't want to see you ever again. Thank you Tonks, you've just given my master what he's been wanting for decades." He kissed her roughly on the lips. "It had always been a question of who would break first. A werewolf can only be controlled if they are broken, Lupin had always been to proud to be broken. But then in came you. Next month, Lupin will wreck havoc." Severus began dressing using his wand for speed. "Oh, and seeing as I think you'll want to kill yourself right about now; tell Jade hello for me." He once again returned to whisper in her ear, "And tell her she was better. Remus didn't even miss out."

With his final crushing words, he left the sobbing Tonks curled up in the corner of Remus' bedroom.


	26. Trap

**Trap**

Every member of the Order had gathered in Twelve Grimmauld Place, minus Severus and Remus who were now both missing, and Tonks who was sleeping dreamlessly in one of the third floor bedrooms. There in their places was a bashful Hermione, ashamed of what had taken place earlier that day. By no means a substitute however, her growing ability granted her a place.

The meeting was drawing to a close a little after nine in the evening with a sombre and melancholy atmosphere. Hermione and Molly left the room in order to begin super for everyone. It was the first chance they had to speak about the incident concerning Harry and Ron.

"How are they?" Minerva questioned, it would be her who would have to relay the conversation to Tonks. Hopefully it would be good news, the fight had only just happened when she had left in search of Remus and Tonks.

"Apart from bruised egos they are both fine. Everything has been explained to Mr Weasley and they are both friends again, although Harry has expressed wishes to be removed from Tonks' classes." Albus explained regretfully. "Thankfully this is something which has yet to reach the students and I intend to keep it that way. As bitter as Harry is right now, he would not think twice about blaming Tonks for the kiss, and then her career would truly be finished."

"I really think that's the last thing on her mind right now Albus." Kingsley muttered "I went up to see her; she's a state. I pray Luscious doesn't find out about this incident with Harry or Severus; he'll torture her."

"He knows." Minerva expressed solemnly. "He probably concocted the plan. It wasn't Severus' style."

"We don't even know what really happened. For all we know she was with Remus and Serverus replaced him in the middle of the night… Lets face it, the polyjuice potion only lasts an hour, it's not as if they were doing something that he could excuse himself from and get a top up-" Kingsley explained with a vulgar grin.

"- And I don't think it's appropriate for you to talk about a colleges personal life." Minerva replied hotly.

"All I'm saying is, Severus would have had to have been mighty convincing to get that ice maiden's knickers down. And once they were down, she would have wanted the full treatment."

"That's enough. That is not the issue here. The only one who has the right to question what happened is Tonks herself. Only she can know the truth, although she is in no state to see the wood from the trees right now." Albus hoped to bring an end to this conversation. What had happened that night was between Remus and Tonks, it should not have entered the public sphere.

"Then we should get her to give us a blow by blow account of what her and Severus or Remus did-"

"You really are a vulgar man. Tonks loves Remus, her memory of a sacred moment between the two of them has been tampered with. I believe it was Remus she was with last night, but you make her re-live it while she believes it was Severus you will kill her." Moody growled. The girl he saw as his daughter had been hurt, and the man who did it must be punished. "Besides we are getting way off track here. If what Minerva said is true, we have five days to find Remus. And I think Tonks knows how to find him."

Popopopopopopopopopopopop

Hermione softly rasped on the oak door of Tonk's bedroom before entering the darkly lit room, her hands laden with a tray full of food. The stressfully sleeping girl stirred instantly. Her puffy and dark eyes fluttered open and looked sheepishly towards a hesitate Hermione.

"Hey, how you feeling?" Hermione asked lovingly as she placed the tray on the bedside. She stood awkwardly away from the bed "Hope you're hungry."

"I'm sorry Hermione." A single tear cascaded down her face. "I should have told you." Hermione was on the bed hugging Tonks in an instant. It didn't seem to help. "You should be hitting me, shouting at me- You've poisoned the soup haven't you?"

"Tonks, why would you think that?" Hermione questioned.

"Ron. He's dying isn't he?" Tonks stomach fell.

"No. Snape was lying to you. They're both ok." Hermione smiled. "In fact I should thank you. He was so enraged at the thought that he could have lost me… we'll let just say second time around was much more…" She chose her words carefully. "Simulating." She blushed a deep crimson. "He realised that he wouldn't have blamed me if I had been cheating, that he was taking me for granted and that he would do his best not to do it in future," Tonks looked as if she was about to cry. "It was Remus Tonks, Snape's just playing with you."

"Deep down in my heart I know what you're saying is the truth. But, I can't stop making my skin crawl. Now, all I can picture is him touching me, kissing me. Until I hear it from Remus himself, I can't and won't get it out my head that I've betrayed him." Tonks closed her eyes and thought for a moment. "The bastards lucky Sirius isn't alive, Severus would be dead now."

"Don't worry, we'll have Remus back soon enough… I know Severus told you there's a month before Remus will turn, he got it wrong, there's a full moon in five days… there's a plan to go and go get him." Hermione explained soothingly.

It suddenly dawned on Tonks. She scrambled weakly but quickly out of bed and reached for her thin dressing gown.

"Tonks? What's wrong?" Hermione followed her as she bolted out the door and to the nearest window, darkness had set in.

"Stupid, stupid stupid." Tonks muttered to herself. "Played straight into his hands." Hermione watched her with fear. Tonks strength was returning to her with fearful speed.

"Tonks?" Hermione asked again.

"Hermione, I want you back at hogwart's. NOW!" Tonks ordered angrily. "There isn't much time."

"Tonks please tell me what's going on?" Hermione asked as Tonks began running down the three flights of stairs.

"Ok, I'll tell you with the others then you have to leave." Tonks led her to the empty meeting room. "They all still here?" Hermione nodded. "Shit." She continued through the hall and down into the kitchen. The moment Tonks entered the room fell silent.

"Nymphadora, you're up?" Minerva asked.

"I want you to take Hermione back to Hogwart's once I've finished what I've got to say." Tonk did not receive a verbal reply but a silent nod. "They're sending Remus here. He'll be here soon, Severus planned this to get you all together to kill you or curse you, I'm not sure to what extent they can control. I need to be chained, because through Remus I could turn too, I know I didn't turn the other night now, but I still don't know. Mortsang; the drug he was giving me has some form of mind control Remus and I felt a connection last night." Kingsley scoffed at this. She really didn't want to go into details. "Severus, thought that I would be either too delirious to contradict the lie… he assumed that you would use the pensive though and assume you had a month, Or that I would have killed myself and for you to be unable to retrieve the information." Deep down both herself and Severus had known that she was much too strong to kill herself. "They planned to attack tonight, I'm sure of it. They won't leave survivors, and I don't think there's enough time to evacuate everyone."


	27. deaths

Remus was given a room on the fourth floor not long after Sirius reclaimed Grimmald Place. It had been Tonks' idea because of Remus neglecting to take his potion and the disastrous events that ensued. Now she was happy for the werewolf restraints. She knew, even as she climbed the wooden staircase with Kingsley right behind her, that Remus was in his werewolf form and on his way to kill all their friends under the control of Severus. Thankfully Minerva had removed Hermione safely from the house; however, she knew there was no time for the rest to leave. They were now lurking in the kitchen which weapons of silver.

The wind could be heard outside as she was chained up by Kingsley. The air between them was icy. He smiled a crooked smile and her heart plummeted. She knew what was coming. She always knew.

"I know everyone's telling you that it was Remus you were with last night." Kingsley whispered as the final mass of cold steel wrapped around Tonks' wrist. "And from the way I hear you've talking you're starting to believe it yourself-"

"You going anywhere with this Kingsley?" Tonks hissed bitterly; of all the people to chain her up, did it really have to be him?

"Just that you must be mighty fucked in the head right about now little Nymph; was it your one and only love or your most hated college who was jumping your bones last night? Oh the dilemma!"

"Look, if I were you I'd be a good little boy and go down to the kitchen and help prepare with the others. It may only be Severus and Remus… But Remus is really strong and he could turn me. Speaking of which; enchanted the chains Kingsley."

He laughed a cold hard laugh.

"Seriously, if I turn and you haven't enchanted them, I'll break free." Tonks fought against the chains.

"That's the plan." He paused for it to sink in. "You were supposed to of killed yourself before your brain kicked in. You weren't to figure it out… you were to die thinking that Severus raped you."

"Bastard!"

"So this way, you go wolf and you help Remus kill everyone downstairs, or you stay human and Remus will come and tear you to pieces when he's finished downstairs."

"How did you break him?" Tonks asked, tears forming in her eyes. "Only a broken man could be controlled, or was Severus lying about that too?"

"You broke him. Seeing you, your heart bleeding on your sleeve, and knowing that he did that to you; stick around baby," he kissed her cheek. "I wanna see what all the fuss about."

"These people are your friends. How can you do this to us?" Tonks fought against the shackles.

"Because I'm an insignificant speck upon a shelf to this order. Voldermort sees us all as equals; he'll treat us like gods!"

"He'll kill you; we would have protected you." Tonks shouted.

"You can't even protect yourselves…. An hour, all your so-called friends will be mauled to death. Join us Tonks."

"Never."

"Thought as much, Goodnight Tonks." He closed the door on Tonks and made his quick descent to the front door. There he could see the black form of Severus. Once the door was open Kingsley coward from the werewolf at Severus' heel. "It worked then."

"No, we just put him in a costume!" Severus drawled closing the door behind him. "Are they unsuspecting?"

"No." Kingsley answered. "She didn't kill herself. She calmed down and realised we got him in the middle of the night. I told you she wouldn't have done it; she's too strong will and of high morals to take her life."

"Blah blah blah." Severus rolled his eyes. "Her worlds about to fall, lets see if we can make her morals fall with them."

"You fear her don't you?" Kingsley questioned as the werewolf ascended the stairs. He made to stop the wolf.

"Leave him." Severus drew a heavy sword. "He has new orders now. I want to be able to look right into Albus' eyes as his soul drained right out of them. I want to kill him."

"Then old Rem can kill the others. I want them to know they've been betrayed." Suddenly, Severus caught Kingsley off guard and held the sword to his bare throat. "No need to reveal all of Voldermort's followers."

Tonks could smell him as he moved up the stairs in his quest to find her. Could she reach him? Tonks could only hope that she could change him. She only had time to blink before he was there before her in his werewolf form.

He was there to kill her; the lust for death was in his eyes.

"Remus." She whispered, the wolf paused in his attacked. "Remus, this is not you. Don't do this; you will never recover from killing you friends. Please fight this." He seemed to be listening but awaiting a better argument. "I want to marry you Remus. I want us to be alone, together. You don't have to protect me Remus, let me protect you." This was something that disagreed with the werewolf in Remus, he growled and jumped up ready to attack. "Or I could just go to plan B." Using her morphing abilities she reduced her hands and wrists until they slipped out of the chains. "I'm sorry Remus." She cast a entrapment spell and ran out of the room locking it tight with a spell.

Creeping down the stairs Tonks began to change into the human form of Remus. Neither Kingsley or Severus were waiting for her in the hall, which meant they were both in the kitchen. Yes, she would have the element of surprise however, there was still that descent into the kitchen. As quietly as she could she crept down the final set of stairs to be met with a sight she feared.

"Albus!" She screamed in a voice not her own. He looked to her as he slumped to the floor and paled a death-like white. He had died by the hands of a furious Severus.

"I was supposed to be the last person he saw." Severus roared.

"And I will be the last person you see." Tonks pinned him to the floor.

"Now would that be you as in Remus… Or Tonks? If you were trying to make me believe you'd turned him, at least change your clothes." He kissed Tonks, in the shock she changed back. "You haven't got the guts Tonks."

"I've dreamed of this day since I first met you. I'll now be one step closer to having my cousin avenged!" With those words she snapped his neck. However he didn't leave without hurting Tonks just one more time. The sword used to kill Albus was now impaled in her side.

"Foolish little girl." Moody pulled the sword from her side and righted her on the floor. "He was our only lead to Voldermort."

"We're not after him just yet. Voldermort can wait another day, today I will settle for the head of Peter, and I know just the person to lead us to him. Isn't that right Kingsley?" She was on him with acid quick speed. "Take me to the rat!"


	28. knight bus

"Tonks, let him alone," Moody growled softly. "Tonks, let him alone, its Kingsley. For Merlin's sake Tonks he's been through a lot tonight; he's just been held hostage by Severus-"

"Bollocks. He's working for Voldermort." She had her wand at his throat. "Don't think I won't kill you." She ushered him to a seat.

"I don't doubt it for a minute Dora." He replied his hands held high away from his wand which was tucked into his belt. Tonks removed it and snapped it in half "However, you kill me and Peter's location dies with me." His smile seemed crooked under the kitchen lights.

"What are you saying Kin-" Molly questioned in a confused tone.

"- That he's betrayed us Molly," Tonks would not remove her gaze from him. "Arthur, go get Bill and Charlie; Remus is in his room, he's changing back. Please take him to the hospital wing in the school-"

"Is that wise-" Molly made towards the unstable girl. Molly's hand wasn't even on the girl's shoulder before:

"He won't hurt anyone, I promise you." Tonks answered her hand rubbing her tired eyes. "Moody, will you tie up this yellow bellied lizard, magical and muggle bonds if you please." He nodded silently and got to work as she stepped back to speak with Molly.

"And Albus?" Molly questioned. No response from a tired Tonks, "His body Tonks?"

"Body?" Tonks snapped out of her daydream. "Albus?" She looked to his lifeless body. "I never thought we'd loose him." She had no energy to cry but her heart sunk. The man she looked up to, the man who understood every single time that Snape had brought her to him. "Leave him he for now. If we move him we'll have the authorities to deal with and the school will have to be informed: give them one more nights sleep. You do realise what this means Molly." The rhetorical question sounded hollow and bitter, Tonks only hope Molly knew it wasn't directed at her.

"Lets take this one step at a time dear girl." Moody hugged her roughly. "War maybe coming but it's not here yet."

"But you know who this war is left to now. Our fate lies in the hands of a little boy."

"A boy who survived him once, Harry will survive again. Hush child, we have a rat to catch and a man's name to redeem." Moody explained.

"Sirius." Tonks nodded. "Are we going to go now Moody?"

"No time like the present. Take him upstairs and I'll meet you up there in a minute. Remember Tonks, constant vigilance." He waited for Tonks' footsteps to fade before turning to Molly. "After your boys have taken Remus to the school, get them to move Albus and Severus to separate rooms. Send an own to the ministry and tell them we have two traitors on our hands but one is dead. Also tell them that Albus is dead and tell them it was by the hands of Severus Snape."

"She's going to try to kill him you know. Anger is preceding her want for justice. Peter will not see another sunset if you let her go." Molly wiped away a falling tear.

"I know, but he will live. I'll see to it that she doesn't kill him," Moody went to the stairs. "Be ready to comfort her though Molly. She has had a rough year and now she has to prepare for a turning."

Opopopopopopopopopopopopopo

"We're going to have to take the ropes off him Tonks, we need to take the Knight bus and he'll draw too much attention to us." Moody began undoing the ropes.

"Will the magical bonds hold?" Her voice was edgy and she was shivering from the cold night air, despite the thick coat she was wearing. He looked at her as if to dare her to question his ability. "I'm sorry, it's just…" Her voice faded weakly. "We don't even know if he's telling the truth."

Kingsley went to speak but Moody jabbed him hard in the ribs.

"Tonks, look at this man; he knows that if he lies to you, you'll kill him." She snorted in disapproval. "Look at me child." He growled. "I know that if he's lied to you, you'll kill him." He paused. "And child, I may not like your actions, but I won't stop you killing this scum." He held his wand hand out and within seconds the Knight bus appeared and Stan appeared to help the travellers with whatever bags they may have.

"Tonks!" Stan smiled and threw his arms wide for his old friend. Tonks sidestepped his arms.

"Not right now Stan. You ok on ya own Moody, I want to sit alone for a while." She stepped on bored without another word.

"Guess I'm going to have to be." Moody muttered. "Just don't you say a word Kingsley." Moody pushed the man on board. "Hey Stan, September Forrest as quick as you can." He threw the man enough money to get the three travellers there.

"What choo going there for?"

"Do yourself a favour, don't ask."

Popopopopopopopopopopopopopopo

Sat on a bed on the third floor of the Knight bus Tonks starred at her hands, they didn't seem any different but somehow they were. Of course they were, she'd killed a man, and she'd killed Severus. They man she'd dreamed out killing for so many years.

How easy it had been. How much she regretted it. Her hands felt dirty and her friends looked at her differently now. She'd used her hands as well, no unforgivable curse for the pure blood. She didn't feel like a proud woman.

"Don't you dare regret it." A low hissing voice sang to her. "Don't you mock me bitch." She didn't need to turn around to know who it was coming to her side.

"Fuck off. Why can't you stay dead?" She shouted in a whisper, not wanting to draw attention to herself. "Can't you go to hell?"

"I've got better things to do here Tonks, you of all people should have known I wouldn't have left this world."

"Serverus you complete and utter bastard." She turned to see his ghost hovering beside her. She laughed loud and long. "You gonna be his ghostly sex slave? That's why you can't leave? You're his lap dog?" She stifled her laugh. "I almost feel sorry for you. You're pathetic. And to think, I was once afraid of you."

"You were never afraid of me." Severus replied sitting beside her.

"No, I guess not. But you were afraid of me! That's why you were so horrible to me." Tonks smiled. "Why are you here Severus? Why aren't you going to foil our plan?"

"Because I want you to free Sirius' name, you can have Peter and Kingsley. They are not vital to the plan."

"Here's me thinking you were just trying to do a nice thing-"

"I am Miss Tonks." She knew for once that he was telling the truth. "This is my olive branch to you alone, not your cause."

"Why?"

"Because you could have been my saviour Miss Tonks." The opaque man blushed. "I hurt you before I knew you. Had I have known you without that hate between us-"

"It would never have happened."

"Why?"

"Because, even if I didn't overhear that conversation- you still condemned my cousin."

"I love you Tonks. Only in death I can tell you this. That is why I could never have raped you either, and why I did genuinely want to cure you but my master-"

"STOP!" She screamed. "These words mean nothing to me; you can not blame me for your return to him." She stood. "I could never love you, because you are a pathetic, weak little man. Go run to your master, tell him what we are doing by all means. Hide the little rat, I've waited years to prove my cousins innocence. Few more days won't make a difference. You see, I'll get him eventually. Tonight I can settle for you." She walked away from the ghost of Severus. "It's a shame too." She paused at the staircase. "You could have been a great man. If only he didn't have a hold on you." She descended without another word.

"There really is a cure Tonks." He whispered sadly as he faded away to continue his journey to his master.

a/n: not much more left, possibly another five or six at the most…. This chapter is a only a third of the action that was supposed to happen in it. There was going to be a piece with Tonks and Peter and then another piece with Remus dealing with things…. Which you now have to look forward to. Sorry the last few chps have been a bit rubbish. Hope this makes up for it.

Yes, I've killed off Albus. Sorry to those who don't like it… I can't undo it now… but he does still have some more things to say in this story.


	29. Chapter 29

I support : MAKE POVERTY HISTORY! Do you?

CHANGES: Chapter Thirty

In the Shadows

Tonks, in her natural form, was sat on the remnants of an old tree hugging herself warm from the midnight summer chill. Her wand light was producing dancing rays of light as she shook from the cold and a deep foreboding. Beside her sat the bound Kingsley, his teeth chattering loudly. The noise was grating on Tonks, she was certain he was putting it on. It was a typical summer's night after dark; the guy was acting as if it was the middle of a winter snow storm.

"How long?" Tonks asked, repulsed that she had been working beside him for many years.

"Too long." Moody growled from his pacing stance in front of the two. Tonks hushed him with a warning glare and a waving hand.

"Since the first rise?" Tonks questioned again her attention returning to man beside her. "You were involved in the case concerning my cousin." She stated calmly. "You knew he was innocent, didn't you? You knew that worm was still alive, and still you let my cousin rot.?"

"And you're getting at what exactly!" Kingsley spoke up, he smiled vindictively. "I want to be on the winning side Tonks, that means throwing a few people into Azkaban, so be it."

"What I'm getting at is that I've worked with you, I've supported… all the time you know the only reason I was working in the ministry was to free my cousin- all the time you were the one who'd sent him away."

Moody then saw the anger flush Tonks' pale face. She could kill him right there and then. He couldn't let her, he need to change the subject. Looking at his watch he had a horrible feeling they were being led into a trap.

"Where is he Kingsley? I swear if you're lying to us I'm going to hang you by your balls." Moody hissed.

"I was under the impression that you guys are going to do that anyway." Tonks and Moody did not look impressed by this statement. "relax, he'll be here; we're just early that's all." He reasoned. Tonks' felt a pang of guilt, she didn't have the heart to tell Moody about her run-in with Severus or that he was probably on his way now to head off Pettigrew.

However, the next second was received with an almighty _pop _and the appearance of a rat-like man. All of a sudden, Tonks was plunged right back into her childhood. Severus still didn't betray her, he was letting her find her peace at last.

"Peter, run." Kingsley shouted and the skittish man bolted deeper into the forrest.

"Oh no you fucking don't!" Tonks knocked Kingsley out cold with a heavy punch and followed Peter on into the wood. Her energy was flagging; her breathing came out short raspy breaths. She had to catch him though. She couldn't let him get away. Her muscles burned and begged for her to stop. She was about to give in when she heard his voice which gave her the motivation she needed.

"Please don't." His voice ran out through the woods; it seemed to be coming from every direction. "Dora, dear girl, don't hurt me. I'm your old friend." Her wand raised high she continued running, her eyes looking in front.

"Begging are we Peter. Voldermort's right hand man reduced to begging to a little girl, a man who's killed and framed people, afraid of a girl he once used to make cry."

"I'm not afraid of you Dora. I just don't want you doing something you'll regret."

"Then why are you running?" She screamed into the darkness, then all of a sudden he was behind her, kicking her to the ground, her wand dropped five feet away and she was pinned unable to move.

"Beg me for your life Dora." His metal claw had her by her neck. The rough metal gave her an all too familiar feeling; an itch. This time it was a physical itch, however, just like before it couldn't be scratched. She just stared him down. "Come on now Dora, I'm going to kill you." She simply shook her head. "No begging?"

"No!" She whispered. "I wouldn't give you the satisfaction."

"I really didn't think it would be so easy breaking you. I thought you'd have me by the throat first. After all, I'm the one who had James and Lily killed; you missed Harry grow up because of me. You loved James and Lily, and you never get to see them again." She struggled slightly and his grip tightened. "You were bullied in school because you were the cousin of a murderer," he laughed. "And your cousin wouldn't even hurt a fly."

"Stop it. Just kill me if you must. Just stop droning on you worthless piece of –"

"Now, now Dora, I haven't got to the best bit." His face came closer to hers. "Remus," He mouthed. "I tore you apart, through Sirius I tore you two apart and destroyed you both!"

"Darn, you've just gone and done the dumbest thing in your god-damned life; you should have killed me while you had the chance. You took your time Moody." Tonks looked up to the out of breath Auror. "Get this dickless son of a bitch off me." His wand cast a containment charm over him in a second and Tonks was released in the next second. "Thank you Moody," All he could do was nod. "Peter Pettigrew. I'm arresting you for the murder of Lily and James Potter, many muggles and the incarceration of Sirius Black."

"You're not even tempted to kill him?" Moody questioned. All she did was shake her head. He pulled her into a hug. "That's my girl."

"My cousin's free." She laughed bitterly into her father figure's chest.

"Tonks, you're still cursed." He pulled her head up to look into her eyes.

"It a small price to pay M. My cousin can rest in peace, I can rest in peace."

"You've done me proud girl, not let's get these traitorous worms to the Ministry."

Remus awoke with a start, it was the middle of the day, and sun streamed through the high arched windows and fell in bands across his hospital bed. There sitting in the chair beside his bed was Harry, staring out into the grounds.

"How long have you been here?" Remus questioned the boy.

"A while." He replied absentmindedly without turning to his old professor. He then came to and turned to Remus, Remus noticed how bruised the boys face was. What had happened to him? Of course Remus hadn't heard about the fight between Ron and Harry. "How are you?"

"As well as I can be." Remus eased himself up to a sitting position. A fear drenched over him. "Tonks? The last thing I remember-" He tried to clamber out of the bed, Harry stopped him.

"Easy, she's ok. She popped in to see you and we've cleared the air." Harry eased the man down. "Her and Moody caught Kingsley and Peter, they're in the Ministry now."

"Severus? What about Severus?" Remus questioned and Harry looked grave, this conversation only had one way to go.

"Dead; Tonks' killed him." Harry paused. "Because he'd killed Dumbledore." Remus stared at him blankly. "Remus, Dumbledore's dead."

"No. That man couldn't even be killed by Voldermort, Severus would not have-"

"He did. Albus Dumbledore is dead."

"Well, there's only one way to be sure." Remus scrambled out of his bed, this time no amount of protest from Harry could stop him storming out and heading straight for the headmaster's office. After a swift muttering of the password Remus climbed the staircase slowly. He was procrastinating, the longer he waited outside, the longer Albus would be alive.

The door opened and he looked around at the portraits adorning the walls, his baited breath catching with every second. He couldn't see a new frame. A second sweep had Remus stop in his tracks. There on the right hand wall was Albus, smiling down on him.

"Hello old boy, I take it you've heard then?" He stared the younger man down. "Sorry I won't see the end. You must be mad at me."

"No. Don't be a fool; you've done so much for us. I'm only sorry you had to die for the cause."

"I'll live on in everyone I've met; hopefully." He watched Remus sit down on the corner of his old desk. "She's ok." Remus looked up to him and smiled mournfully. "Or, she will be."

"After everything, she's still a werewolf though."

"Somehow I don't think she minds so much. You just have to be strong…. Perhaps even though you both consider it a weakness, it will become a great strength for the cause."

"Moral will be low, we've lost so many people over the last few days. Too many people have revealed themselves to be false. I have no doubt in my mind there will be more revelations to come."

"Neither do I, but while we have hearts as true as yours and Miss Tonks, I have no doubt good will win out. I think it might be time for you to return to Hogwarts as a teacher. No arguments." Remus had made to protest. "Now, go and rest my boy."

"But Tonks."

"She'll be busy for the next few hours, enough time for you to go and have a nap." Dumbledore smiled once more. "I will always be here."

"I know you will." Remus left without another word.


	30. I'm a believer

**Changed- Chapter Thirty**

**Freedom.**

_A/N: The song that appears in this chapter is a Smash Mouth cover of "I'm a believer". This originally was going to be the last chapter. However, thanks to all my reviewers, MoonyNZ to name one, I'm now having doubts… does this lead to more chapters, or possibly a sequel? Please guys, let me know. In addition thanks to: Tonks42(yep, D's dead). Katkin (You rock), Philly (faithful as always), __ArwenFairTinuviel__, (hope you're still reading… and again thanks to Tonks42 for recommending it to you)… anyway, enjoy._

It was dusk the following day when Tonks and Moody finally got out of the Ministry. Tonks inhaled her first breath of unfiltered recycled air in over eighteen hours. She then screamed on long, loud and happy scream until there was no air left in her lungs. A few passing muggles looked strangely at her.

"I've needed to do that all day." She laughed pulling the fallen bag handles back onto her shoulder. "We've done it! My cousin is free at last." She hugged her friend tightly, and then twinged at the pain of the bruising that was now forming across her ribs. She sobered slightly at the happy feeling. "Just wish he was alive to see all this." Moody watched her hesitate.

"You're not coming back with me?" He questioned hopelessly. "People will be wanting to see you Tonks."

"Not just yet Mad Eye. I need to walk for a bit. I'll be back soon, I'll meet you there, I promise." She smiled positively at him.

"Ok Tonk. But don't be long; we've got matters to attend to." Tonks nodded at Moody's orders and headed off in the opposite direction.

The sky had never looked so promisingly beautiful, Tonks thought as she aloud her feet to guide her wherever they felt she needed to be. She fished around her bag and found the pair of muggle earphones which where attached to a device which would pump music into her ears; just what she needed while on her wander. She had seen it on her way passed Arthur's office and decided to borrow them. It had been a hot day Tonks noted by the dryness of the pavement.

Something she knew wouldn't last; the invasive pink clouds looked innocent; however Tonks could smell the rain that they were about to spill out over the city. Sure enough, while the music started up, she could hear the rumble of thunder way off in the distance.

_I thought love was only true in fairytales._

Her cousin, Sirius Black, was now a free man and Kingsley Shaklebolt and Peter Pettigrew where being escorted to prison this very moment. They were of course down not one, but three Order members.

Albus was dead, no doubt Minerva will be taken his place as head of Hogwarts, leaving her teaching position open along with Potions and of course Tonks' job would be advertised again. She thought glumly; she was just getting into her stride. However how many parents would allow their children to be taught by a werewolf. The very thought brought the rain tumbling lightly down on her frame.

Severus had died and risen again. Something deep down was telling Tonks that the ghost of Severus would be involved in a major offensive. She also knew that they couldn't keep using Grimmauld as headquarters while there was no secret keeper. The thunder was right overhead now.

_When I wanted sunshine, I got rain._

As the lyrics washed over Tonks, lightening flashed across the setting sky. Despite the foreboding that was knotting up in her stomach, Tonks never felt happier in her life. Her aim had been met. She'd done her cousin proud. Suddenly the earphones were removed just as it screamed out: _I'm a believer_.

"You're a damn hard girl to find Dora." A voice whispered into her ear, she turned round to find Remus right behind her, propped up with his cane. She jumped on him to hug him. She sighed pleasantly as he hugged her back. "Easy Dora, I'm still a little fragile." He eased her down.

"Sorry." She blushed, fiddling with the fastening of his tweed jacket. "I'm just so happy. Are you ok?"

"I am now, I was worried when Moody turned up without you." He tugged at a stray strand of her wet long brown hair. It must have changed from it's pale green colour during her deep thinking.

"I'm ok. I just need some time alone-" She said without thinking about how it sounded.

"Sorry, I'll leave you to it. I'll be back at-" He sounded deeply hurt and embarrassed.

"No, Remus… I can be alone with you." She watched him brighten; the lightening highlighted his deep and loving eyes as the sky grew darker. "We're finally here."

"Marry me." He blurted bashfully. That was not how it meant to have come out. She shook her head. "No?"

"Yes,"

"Yes!" His voice brightened.

"No." She smiled. "Yes to your question no?" She hated him looking so down. It wasn't that she didn't want to marry he him. "Remus." She looked to the floor, "You know if you're not too busy, maybe we could go out sometime next week. Maybe a meal, or the cinema."

"A date?" He questioned brightly.

"Yea, lets start at the beginning. A fresh star." She smiled brightly. He nodded. "Although I must warn you, I had a cousin, Sirius. Thank your lucky stars he's not here; I don't think he'd approve of you one little bit," She toyed with him.

"Before I forget," He pulled out a newspaper from under his cloak, the moment it was removed it was drenched. "Hot off the press; they go out in the morning."

Tonks pulled back her drenched hair to get a better view of the front cover, there on the front was a happy Sirius from his pre-Azakaban years. The head-line read "WRONG MAN ACCUSED!"

"Remus!" Tonks choked. "He's free."

"Come on, there's a wake for Albus at Grimmauld; they're not going to start without you."


	31. Chapter 31

_To my faithful fans and new readers,_

_As you may have noticed by this update is that this story is now considerably shorter. It's been three years since I'd updated the story and seven since I initially published. While I still have the ending in my head, and have every intention of writing it someday. I only feel it's fair that I don't leave a story abandoned. I have deleted just over ten chapters (that will be made available for those who would like them if you request them via PM) in order to end this story at a natural breaking point._

_What I am going to do is work on these ten chapters and create a sequel over the summer. I'm all grown up you see. I laugh writing that but I've had a rough number of years... my Mum died unexpectedly which sent me on a dark path of confusion, misdirection and writer's block. I'm now a teacher, loving my school and I'm slowly but surely getting back into writing._

_I am currently working on an Inception fic. Please don't sulk and say that it's not Harry Potter as it's the fic that truly got me back into writing. My writing has changed style slightly and I really do hope people still like it._

_Thank you everyone for your reviews, and patients over the years._

_You'll see my name for a new HG/SS and a new NT/RL ship fic soon... I promise._

_Love_

_Cappy_


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